Had to buy a snow blower today...

[Anonymous]

You're a little small for a white guy.

Nah, White goys my size built the modern Western world as we know it!  Obesity and bulk is a more recent phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

You're a little small for a white guy.

Nah, White goys my size built the modern Western world as we know it!  Obesity and bulk is a more recent phenomenon.

It's the same in East Asia..



The younger generation is getting taller.

[Anonymous]

You're a little small for a white guy.

Nah, White goys my size built the modern Western world as we know it!  Obesity and bulk is a more recent phenomenon.

It's the same in East Asia..



The younger generation is getting taller.

Yeah, but you knew that was going to happen. Ever more people and only a finite number of noodly appendages from the Flying Spaghetti Monster... the result was inevitable.

[Odinson]

I´ve noticed that pattern...



More and more females are over 6 foot tall and guys are as tall as me or taller.





But I´ve noticed a more concerning pattern..

The 20 something dudes are as childish and unreliable as we were in junior high..





These guys are adults but they cannot even be trusted to drive the company car..

[Anonymous]

You're a little small for a white guy.

Nah, White goys my size built the modern Western world as we know it!  Obesity and bulk is a more recent phenomenon.

It's the same in East Asia..



The younger generation is getting taller.

Yeah, but you knew that was going to happen. Ever more people and only a finite number of noodly appendages from the Flying Spaghetti Monster... the result was inevitable.

The flying spaghetti monster?

[Anonymous]

My son is taller than me.

[Anonymous]

You're a little small for a white guy.

Nah, White goys my size built the modern Western world as we know it!  Obesity and bulk is a more recent phenomenon.

It's the same in East Asia..



The younger generation is getting taller.

Yeah, but you knew that was going to happen. Ever more people and only a finite number of noodly appendages from the Flying Spaghetti Monster... the result was inevitable.

The flying spaghetti monster?

Yeah. I first encountered tales of it when I was trying to determine how many people had listed "Jedi" as their religion on the US census. Had me in stitches for close to six hours just reading up on it.



Put it this way; you've heard doubtless heard of the efforts of some US groups trying to shoehorn the teachings of "intelligent design" into biology classes? Because "equal time for God vs the evolution question"? Well one guy demanded if they were going to do that, then equal time must also be granted for unintelligent design. He created a bunch of tales loosely based off stories in the christian bible (along with a variety of other religious texts) about a flying lump of spaghetti noodles and meatballs roaming the cosmos and worshipped by people called Pastafarians. Their holiest of prophets are pirates, making September 19 the holiest day on the calendar. When you die, if you get to heaven, you'll find beer volcanoes and stripper factories. You'll also find those in hell too, but the beer is flat and the strippers all have VD. It's gained a fair bit of traction over the years, even though it is quite an obvious pisstake on religions, people have nonetheless argued successfully for considerations like wearing ceremonial headdress in their DMV photos for example. Collanders, to be precise. I swear you can't make this shit up!



But I imagine you have to be wondering right about now why this has come up in conjunction with the increasing height of successive generations. Simply put, gravity is pur bunkum. The real reason we aren't all floating off into space is due to his Noodly Appendages touching each and every one of us on the tops of our heads. As our population has grown however, there's proportionately less wime that any given appendage can tap you on the head, therefore every successive generation if growing taller due to this fact.



All bullshit of course, but fuck is it funny. And fleshed out way more than rival pseudo-religions like The Church of The Invisible Pink Unicorn for example.