Babylon Bee, People's Cube etc.

[Renee]

https://babylonbee.com/news/obama-party-ruined-as-mansion-sinks-into-sea-thanks-to-climate-change">TRAGEDY - Obama's Party Ruined As Mansion Sinks Into Sea Thanks To Climate Change



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9210-1.jpg">



MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA—Well, this is tragic news: Barack Obama's long-awaited birthday bash has been ruined by climate change as his mansion sank into the sea thanks to global warming.



As guests participated in the activities, from fun games like "Pin the Drone on the Middle Eastern Country" to a rousing session of Settlers of Yemen, the sound of crashing water caused everyone to run outside. "Oh no!" shouted Hillary Clinton. "We've gotta cheese it—it's climate change!"



"How dare you!" shouted Greta Thunberg, lecturing the wave on how it's just supposed to consume evil white men.



"Aw, man!" said a disappointed Obama as he swam away. "I was looking forward to that Predator drone-shaped cake—it looked delicious!"



"I knew I shouldn't have invested in a $12 million-dollar mansion when I've warned people over and over again that it would be underwater in just a few years."



Many guests were soaked or swept away into the sea, though John Kerry and Al Gore called their pilots and got picked up in their private jets.



At publishing time, Obama had purchased yet another multi-million-dollar mansion on the new Atlantic coast in eastern Kansas.

If only this was real.... ac_toofunny

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/rest-of-country-starts-recall-election-on-the-state-of-california">Rest Of Country Holds Recall Election On State Of California



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9240-2.jpg">



U.S.—Back in 1850, the Union voted to make California the 31st state. But now Americans are taking an unusual step: holding a recall election to undo this and kick California out of the United States.



"It's just not working out," said Charles Mills, one of the millions of Americans who signed a petition to recall the state. "All they do is mess things up and then export how they messed things up to other states. Should have just left it a national park run by bears."



In the recall election, Americans will vote yes or no on whether they want to recall the state of California. They will also vote on what they want to be a state instead of California if it's recalled (so flags don't have to be changed). Current choices include Puerto Rico, Guam, Saskatchewan, and an unoccupied patch of water in the Pacific.



"There are a lot of good choices," said Sonya Myers, who plans to vote to recall California.



If the recall is successful, California will no longer be a part of America and will have all of its major sports teams confiscated. In addition, other states will be able to deport Californians who tried to move there, as they'll now be foreigners and illegal immigrants. "Yee-haw!" said Texas Governor Greg "Tex" Abbott at this prospect.



As for California Governor Gavin Newsom, he seemed confused by why there was a recall election. "Everyone loves our state because everything is great here," he said as the light above him flickered on and off, the land outside burned, and everyone who could find a U-Haul loaded up to leave the state.

[Anonymous]

https://server3.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/shhzdcy/s3iwolzo/p2/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/snomzbznrrt/p2/news/rest-of-country-starts-recall-election-on-the-state-of-california">Rest Of Country Holds Recall Election On State Of California



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9240-2.jpg">



U.S.—Back in 1850, the Union voted to make California the 31st state. But now Americans are taking an unusual step: holding a recall election to undo this and kick California out of the United States.



"It's just not working out," said Charles Mills, one of the millions of Americans who signed a petition to recall the state. "All they do is mess things up and then export how they messed things up to other states. Should have just left it a national park run by bears."



In the recall election, Americans will vote yes or no on whether they want to recall the state of California. They will also vote on what they want to be a state instead of California if it's recalled (so flags don't have to be changed). Current choices include Puerto Rico, Guam, Saskatchewan, and an unoccupied patch of water in the Pacific.



"There are a lot of good choices," said Sonya Myers, who plans to vote to recall California.



If the recall is successful, California will no longer be a part of America and will have all of its major sports teams confiscated. In addition, other states will be able to deport Californians who tried to move there, as they'll now be foreigners and illegal immigrants. "Yee-haw!" said Texas Governor Greg "Tex" Abbott at this prospect.



As for California Governor Gavin Newsom, he seemed confused by why there was a recall election. "Everyone loves our state because everything is great here," he said as the light above him flickered on and off, the land outside burned, and everyone who could find a U-Haul loaded up to leave the state.

Love it. ac_toofunny

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/exclusive-we-have-obtained-a-copy-of-the-talibans-first-draft-of-their-new-womens-bill-of-rights">Exclusive: We Have Obtained A Copy Of The Taliban's First Draft Of Their New Women's Bill Of Rights



KABUL—Through clandestine sources in Kabul, The Babylon Bee has obtained a leaked copy of the Taliban's first draft of a new Women's Bill of Rights.



The Taliban, who is now running the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, began work on the bill soon after liberal western democracies and individuals like Nancy Pelosi reminded them in a strongly worded letter that they should protect women's rights.



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9291-1.jpg">



While this bill is still in its early stages, we think they've made a lot of progress. Let's look at some of the rights enumerated in the Taliban's New Bill of Women's Rights:



The right to remain silent.



The right to equal employment inside the home with the other wives.



The right of freedom of movement. Again, inside the home.right to free healthcare that is on par with the best veterinary care in the country.



The right to an education in Islam.



The right to be married to whichever brave Taliban fighter chooses them.



The right to bear children and raise them up to defend the Islamic Emirate.



The right to marry at any age.



The right to choose the color of their burqa.



The right to be seen in public, so long as they are fully covered and in the presence of their husband.



The right to speak freely with other women about how to take care of the house and raise children.



The right to have only one hand chopped off as a warning in cases of minor infractions.



The right to trial by husband.



Wow! This new Women's Bill of Rights is a progressive step for the Taliban and it's exciting to see what they'll come up with next!

[Anonymous]

https://babylonbee.com/news/exclusive-we-have-obtained-a-copy-of-the-talibans-first-draft-of-their-new-womens-bill-of-rights">Exclusive: We Have Obtained A Copy Of The Taliban's First Draft Of Their New Women's Bill Of Rights



KABUL—Through clandestine sources in Kabul, The Babylon Bee has obtained a leaked copy of the Taliban's first draft of a new Women's Bill of Rights.



The Taliban, who is now running the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, began work on the bill soon after liberal western democracies and individuals like Nancy Pelosi reminded them in a strongly worded letter that they should protect women's rights.



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9291-1.jpg">



While this bill is still in its early stages, we think they've made a lot of progress. Let's look at some of the rights enumerated in the Taliban's New Bill of Women's Rights:



The right to remain silent.



The right to equal employment inside the home with the other wives.



The right of freedom of movement. Again, inside the home.right to free healthcare that is on par with the best veterinary care in the country.



The right to an education in Islam.



The right to be married to whichever brave Taliban fighter chooses them.



The right to bear children and raise them up to defend the Islamic Emirate.



The right to marry at any age.



The right to choose the color of their burqa.



The right to be seen in public, so long as they are fully covered and in the presence of their husband.



The right to speak freely with other women about how to take care of the house and raise children.



The right to have only one hand chopped off as a warning in cases of minor infractions.



The right to trial by husband.



Wow! This new Women's Bill of Rights is a progressive step for the Taliban and it's exciting to see what they'll come up with next!

The UN will hold this up as the gold standard.

[cc]

[Here's a similar crazy satire site with a fun supposed Soviet aura https://thepeoplescube.com/">"The People's Cube" that I used to follow a lot]



Chedoh

8/17/2021, 8:12 pm

https://thepeoplescube.com/Avatars/5120_1437310712.jpg">



https://thepeoplescube.com/images/Biden_Golf_Cart.jpg">



In an bold move, President Joe Biden announced his unshakable determination in completing his vacation and ensuring that there will be no hasty pullout to his time off.



"No pandemic, no Taliban takeover, no soaring gas prices, no border crises, and absolutely no failing economy will ever cause a hastily prepared end to my vacation. I can promise you the American people that," declared a steadfast Joe Biden from a golf cart donning the presidential seal.



The president then drove off in that same cart presumably to secure the 9th hole.



Such bravery in his unyielding pursuit of peace and quiet during the biggest crisis during his term in office (so far) has left political pundits in awe of Biden's iron will.



Rachel Maddow said it was "the most moving display from a president" that she has ever seen in her career.

[Anonymous]

[Here's a similar crazy satire site with a fun supposed Soviet aura https://thepeoplescube.com/">"The People's Cube" that I used to follow a lot]



Chedoh

8/17/2021, 8:12 pm

https://thepeoplescube.com/Avatars/5120_1437310712.jpg">



https://thepeoplescube.com/images/Biden_Golf_Cart.jpg">



In an bold move, President Joe Biden announced his unshakable determination in completing his vacation and ensuring that there will be no hasty pullout to his time off.



"No pandemic, no Taliban takeover, no soaring gas prices, no border crises, and absolutely no failing economy will ever cause a hastily prepared end to my vacation. I can promise you the American people that," declared a steadfast Joe Biden from a golf cart donning the presidential seal.



The president then drove off in that same cart presumably to secure the 9th hole.



Such bravery in his unyielding pursuit of peace and quiet during the biggest crisis during his term in office (so far) has left political pundits in awe of Biden's iron will.



Rachel Maddow said it was "the most moving display from a president" that she has ever seen in her career.

I believe it.

[cc]

[Here's a similar crazy satire site with a fun supposed Soviet aura https://thepeoplescube.com/">"The People's Cube" that I used to follow a lot]



Chedoh

8/17/2021, 8:12 pm

https://thepeoplescube.com/Avatars/5120_1437310712.jpg">



https://thepeoplescube.com/images/Biden_Golf_Cart.jpg">



In an bold move, President Joe Biden announced his unshakable determination in completing his vacation and ensuring that there will be no hasty pullout to his time off.



"No pandemic, no Taliban takeover, no soaring gas prices, no border crises, and absolutely no failing economy will ever cause a hastily prepared end to my vacation. I can promise you the American people that," declared a steadfast Joe Biden from a golf cart donning the presidential seal.



The president then drove off in that same cart presumably to secure the 9th hole.



Such bravery in his unyielding pursuit of peace and quiet during the biggest crisis during his term in office (so far) has left political pundits in awe of Biden's iron will.



Rachel Maddow said it was "the most moving display from a president" that she has ever seen in her career.

I believe it.

Yes. There are cases where satire and reality become one and the same.



Jo's Afghan antics  is one of them

[Anonymous]

This thread is so funny and the one cc just posted is one of the funniest.

 

[cc]

Scandal As Newsom Campaign Produces Old Yearbook Photo Showing Larry Elder In Blackface[/url][/b]





https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9367-1.jpg">



SACRAMENTO, CA—Larry Elder's campaign for governor of California was thrown into turmoil today after Gavin Newsom's anti-recall campaign produced never-before-seen yearbook photos showing Larry Elder wearing blackface.



"This is beyond the pale," said French Chef Pierre D'issoir, who is running Newsom's campaign. "Not only is Larry Elder totally a white supremacist, but we now have proof that he wore blackface as a young man in college! Absolument honteux!"



Newsom will be spending $12 million in predominately black areas of Southern California to remind black voters that Elder is a fake black person—and that pasty white millionaire, winery owner, and French cuisine connoisseur Gavin Newsom is a better choice for the black community than Larry Elder.



"Sometimes we need to spend millions of dollars to remind minorities what's best for them," said Newsom. "Right now, what's best for them is being locked in their homes and given forced vaccinations. Larry Elder will try to come in and offer to lower their taxes, give them jobs, and heal their communities, but the thing that really matters here is that he wore blackface."



The scandal deepened later that afternoon when Larry Elder made an appearance, still wearing blackface.

[Renee]

Scandal As Newsom Campaign Produces Old Yearbook Photo Showing Larry Elder In Blackface[/url][/b]





https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9367-1.jpg">



SACRAMENTO, CA—Larry Elder's campaign for governor of California was thrown into turmoil today after Gavin Newsom's anti-recall campaign produced never-before-seen yearbook photos showing Larry Elder wearing blackface.



"This is beyond the pale," said French Chef Pierre D'issoir, who is running Newsom's campaign. "Not only is Larry Elder totally a white supremacist, but we now have proof that he wore blackface as a young man in college! Absolument honteux!"



Newsom will be spending $12 million in predominately black areas of Southern California to remind black voters that Elder is a fake black person—and that pasty white millionaire, winery owner, and French cuisine connoisseur Gavin Newsom is a better choice for the black community than Larry Elder.



"Sometimes we need to spend millions of dollars to remind minorities what's best for them," said Newsom. "Right now, what's best for them is being locked in their homes and given forced vaccinations. Larry Elder will try to come in and offer to lower their taxes, give them jobs, and heal their communities, but the thing that really matters here is that he wore blackface."



The scandal deepened later that afternoon when Larry Elder made an appearance, still wearing blackface.

The sad part of this is that there are some people out there who are so immersed in the woke idiocy that they will mistake the satire for reality.



Sounds crazy but it's the world we have created.

[Anonymous]

SACRAMENTO, CA—Larry Elder's campaign for governor of California was thrown into turmoil today after Gavin Newsom's anti-recall campaign produced never-before-seen yearbook photos showing Larry Elder wearing blackface.



"This is beyond the pale," said French Chef Pierre D'issoir, who is running Newsom's campaign. "Not only is Larry Elder totally a white supremacist, but we now have proof that he wore blackface as a young man in college! Absolument honteux!"



Newsom will be spending $12 million in predominately black areas of Southern California to remind black voters that Elder is a fake black person—and that pasty white millionaire, winery owner, and French cuisine connoisseur Gavin Newsom is a better choice for the black community than Larry Elder.



"Sometimes we need to spend millions of dollars to remind minorities what's best for them," said Newsom. "Right now, what's best for them is being locked in their homes and given forced vaccinations. Larry Elder will try to come in and offer to lower their taxes, give them jobs, and heal their communities, but the thing that really matters here is that he wore blackface."



The scandal deepened later that afternoon when Larry Elder made an appearance, still wearing blackface.

 

[Anonymous]

Scandal As Newsom Campaign Produces Old Yearbook Photo Showing Larry Elder In Blackface[/url][/b]





https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9367-1.jpg">



SACRAMENTO, CA—Larry Elder's campaign for governor of California was thrown into turmoil today after Gavin Newsom's anti-recall campaign produced never-before-seen yearbook photos showing Larry Elder wearing blackface.



"This is beyond the pale," said French Chef Pierre D'issoir, who is running Newsom's campaign. "Not only is Larry Elder totally a white supremacist, but we now have proof that he wore blackface as a young man in college! Absolument honteux!"

 

Newsom will be spending $12 million in predominately black areas of Southern California to remind black voters that Elder is a fake black person—and that pasty white millionaire, winery owner, and French cuisine connoisseur Gavin Newsom is a better choice for the black community than Larry Elder.



"Sometimes we need to spend millions of dollars to remind minorities what's best for them," said Newsom. "Right now, what's best for them is being locked in their homes and given forced vaccinations. Larry Elder will try to come in and offer to lower their taxes, give them jobs, and heal their communities, but the thing that really matters here is that he wore blackface."



The scandal deepened later that afternoon when Larry Elder made an appearance, still wearing blackface.

[Anonymous]

Scandal As Newsom Campaign Produces Old Yearbook Photo Showing Larry Elder In Blackface[/url][/b]





https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9367-1.jpg">



SACRAMENTO, CA—Larry Elder's campaign for governor of California was thrown into turmoil today after Gavin Newsom's anti-recall campaign produced never-before-seen yearbook photos showing Larry Elder wearing blackface.



"This is beyond the pale," said French Chef Pierre D'issoir, who is running Newsom's campaign. "Not only is Larry Elder totally a white supremacist, but we now have proof that he wore blackface as a young man in college! Absolument honteux!"



Newsom will be spending $12 million in predominately black areas of Southern California to remind black voters that Elder is a fake black person—and that pasty white millionaire, winery owner, and French cuisine connoisseur Gavin Newsom is a better choice for the black community than Larry Elder.



"Sometimes we need to spend millions of dollars to remind minorities what's best for them," said Newsom. "Right now, what's best for them is being locked in their homes and given forced vaccinations. Larry Elder will try to come in and offer to lower their taxes, give them jobs, and heal their communities, but the thing that really matters here is that he wore blackface."



The scandal deepened later that afternoon when Larry Elder made an appearance, still wearing blackface.

The sad part of this is that there are some people out there who are so immersed in the woke idiocy that they will mistake the satire for reality.



Sounds crazy but it's the world we have created.

I know.

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/supreme-court-moves-to-white-house-so-they-can-strike-down-unconstitutional-mandates-in-real-time">Supreme Court Moves To White House So They Can Strike Down Unconstitutional Mandates In Real-Time



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-9447-1.jpg">



WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a win for government efficiency, the Supreme Court has opted to move into the Oval Office with Biden so they can strike down all his unconstitutional mandates in real-time.



"Listen, our caseload is insane as it is," said an exhausted Chief Justice Roberts. "Biden is clogging up the system with all these ridiculous royal decrees of his, so we're just gonna stand here behind him and strike them down as he writes 'em, assembly-line style!"



Later that morning, Biden sat down to sign his daily batch of executive orders. He was getting ready to sign a new order requiring cat moms to be given 12 weeks of maternity leave every time they buy a cat when Clarence Thomas reached in and smacked the pen out of Biden's hand.



"NO! No Biden! BAD Biden!" said Justice Thomas sternly. "That's unconstitutional! Nice try!"



Biden began to sob as he wasn't sure why he was there or why the clean, articulate black man was yelling at him.



As the morning progressed, the Justices all took turns smacking the pen out of Biden's hand until all the executive orders were struck down and a confused Biden slunk out of the room crying.



After a hard morning's work, the Supreme Court decided to clock out early and reward themselves with a treat from one of the National Mall food trucks.