Edmonton Radio Station Asks If Rape Victims Partly Responsib

[Anonymous]

I don't have much to add to this discussion that Real Woman, ghost, Shen Li, Renee or Keeper have not already..



Some very good points made by everyone who has responded.

[RW]

Keeper, the thing that has been found in rape cases is that it has almost nothing to do with dress and a lot to do with opportunity.



Again ghost, no excuse and no sympathy for those who change the course of their lives because they've raped someone.  Those guys should have given more thought to their futures before they decided to have in consenting sex with someone.  However, I don't object to the point being made that they threw away their lives full of promise because they decided to rape a woman.  Let that be a lesson to the rest of the fuckers.

I object to it. It paints the boys under a sympathetic picture. Makes people actually feel sorry for them for making such a terrible mistake. Oh, the poor boys. They had so much going for them. Who the fuck cares.



They keep constantly pointing out that the girl was drunk. She was drinking. She was passed out. Oh, the poor boys for being unable to resist temptation. The poor boys.

So we should ignore that committing a heinous sexual act such as rape doesn't have consequences to the futures of those who do it?  We shouldn't say "Hey boys, do you really want to throw away what could have been a great future in favour of not keeping it in your pants"?  Should we pretend the consequences aren't HUGE by pointing out what they ruined?  No one is saying "poor boys".  They are saying "look how these assholes fucked up their lives".  



I also don't object to the message that says you can't have sex with a woman who is passed out drunk because she cannot give/revoke consent and I really don't object to the message that says bad things can happen to you when you get pissed drunk.



Honestly, for me, this is another one of these issues where candid and productive dialogue is next to impossible and that isn't doing ANYONE any favours.

[Renee]

I was a drunk girl who got raped at a party.



I was 17 and a virgin. Was I being stupid? I was with friends who I thought I trusted. I didn't actually drink that much. I was with female friends, one of which was a designated driver.



Sometimes personal responsibility can only take someone so far. Yes, I've always been careful. Sadly, sometimes careful isn't enough.



I think what bothers me the most is that we constantly talk about women's personal responsibility. What about the male responsibility? Why is it that we teach girls to be careful, constantly point out what sort of things can happen to them if they dress bad, get drunk, etc..etc.. Where's the lessons being taught to the boys not to rape? Instead they get the whole 'boys will be boys' speech.

First let me say I'm very sorry for what happened to you. There is no excuse for how you were violated and I sincerely hope whoever was responsible for the act was punished accordingly.



I agree 100% with your premise regarding how males get a pass on this issue. It shouldn't be all on us but unfortunately this is the culture we live in and until that culture changes, women need to take the proper steps in keeping themselves safe. The other unfortunate part of this is that changing the culture is going to take an almost monumental effort. The "boys will be boys" mindset has been so pervasive for so long that it's an accepted reality in many social circles. As has been already stated, the pop culture of today objectifies and in many cases glorifies the poor treatment of women. Young males at an early age are exposed to the concept that treating women with violence or in an immoral and unacceptable manner is "cool" and an indication of manhood. We are routinely disrespectfully referred to as "bitches" and "hoes" and our worth as human beings is tied directly to our physical appearance and physical attributes. Until that way of thinking is squashed and exposed for the ignorant load of horseshit that it is, women/girls will continue to be victimized by men/boys who think that their bad behavior is acceptable.

Do young men think their behaviour is acceptable?



Perhaps they know it is very wrong, but they are willing to risk getting caught and arrest?



Much like a thief or some other lawbreaker.

In reality no, I don't think that they actually think their bad behavior is acceptable. BUT I do think that young males can find themselves in situations where they can be spurred on by their peers and encouraged to do things that they normally wouldn't. They can easily develop a predatory opportunistic mentality that allows them to live in the moment without thinking about the consequences of their actions. I do think that for most, once they realize what they have done they either try to rationalize it or they do their best to burry and forget.

 

I also believe that even in our society today there is a segment of the male population that makes excuses for bad behavior toward women and indeed believes these excuses. Just look at Oddstain and BWD and their misogynistic attitude toward women or certain women and you can see examples of what I speak. Some people may think that they are just forum trolls and that it is all an act but the reality of the outside world says otherwise.

[RW]

Like I said, a lack of positive male role modelling.

[Anonymous]

So we should ignore that committing a heinous sexual act such as rape doesn't have consequences to the futures of those who do it?  We shouldn't say "Hey boys, do you really want to throw away what could have been a great future in favour of not keeping it in your pants"?  Should we pretend the consequences aren't HUGE by pointing out what they ruined?  No one is saying "poor boys".  They are saying "look how these assholes fucked up their lives".  



I also don't object to the message that says you can't have sex with a woman who is passed out drunk because she cannot give/revoke consent and I really don't object to the message that says bad things can happen to you when you get pissed drunk.



Honestly, for me, this is another one of these issues where candid and productive dialogue is next to impossible and that isn't doing ANYONE any favours.

Kind of like any other person(OJ Simpson) that did something really stupid that fucked up their lives?

[RW]

They highlighted his respectable career that he threw away in a fit of controlling, possessive jealousy.  They mentioned how his kids would have neither parent.  That's not making excuses IMHO.

[Anonymous]

They highlighted his respectable career that he threw away in a fit of controlling, possessive jealousy.  They mentioned how his kids would have neither parent.  That's not making excuses IMHO.

I have no problem with the media writing about a suspect's achievements. Provided of course it has no impact on sentencing if a guilty verdict is reached.

[Obvious Li]

They highlighted his respectable career that he threw away in a fit of controlling, possessive jealousy.  They mentioned how his kids would have neither parent.  That's not making excuses IMHO.

I have no problem with the media writing about a suspect's achievements. Provided of course it has no impact on sentencing if a guilty verdict is reached.

[/b]





it didn't...his verdict was 100% a case of jury nullification....he was going to be found not guilty ..NO MATTER WHAT THE EVIDENCE PRESENTED....which in fact is what happened in the end.....caused quite an uproar at the time but like all other things racial in america....it was what it was

[Anonymous]

They highlighted his respectable career that he threw away in a fit of controlling, possessive jealousy.  They mentioned how his kids would have neither parent.  That's not making excuses IMHO.

I have no problem with the media writing about a suspect's achievements. Provided of course it has no impact on sentencing if a guilty verdict is reached.

[/b]





it didn't...his verdict was 100% a case of jury nullification....he was going to be found not guilty ..NO MATTER WHAT THE EVIDENCE PRESENTED....which in fact is what happened in the end.....caused quite an uproar at the time but like all other things racial in america....it was what it was

I always thought OJ Simpson was guilty of killing his wife..



He is in jail now though.

[RW]

He was guilty.

[keeper]

He was guilty.

Not in the eyes of the court system he isn't. Plus, The gloves didn't fit gezzzz :o

[Anonymous]

He was guilty.

As fucking sin!!

[Anonymous]

He was guilty.

Not in the eyes of the court system he isn't. Plus, The gloves didn't fit gezzzz :o

OJ Simpson had a good defense team.

[Obvious Li]

He was guilty.

Not in the eyes of the court system he isn't. Plus, The gloves didn't fit gezzzz :o

OJ Simpson had a good defense team.

[/b]





OJ Simpson was black, he had a black lawyer, and a black jury who ignored the judges instructions on weighing the evidence and instead chose to make a political statement......the verdict was completely racial and racist and motivated by race.





at the time i was working with a large (very liberal) law firm in Seattle......when the verdict was about to be announced everyone stopped work and met in one of their large conference rooms to watch the announcement....when the not guilty verdict was announced there was visible shock and disbelief in the room...people actually cried about it......but universal disbelief that this could happen in America.....it certainly was no shock to anyone who has witnessed the descent into madness of our society in the last 50 years.... it was entirely predictable.

[cc]

Well put!!