A Mother's Day poem

[Dove]

 So every week I have been going to my storage unit and sorting through what remains of my old life.

 Since my mother has been gone, she changed her state payee so she isn't giving me any money to help me pay for the storage unit....nor was she helping take care of cats that SHE wanted to keep but refused to take care of.

 So I'm cleaning out the storage unit and my daughter came across a bag that was filled with notebooks my mother was writing in. She was "Journaling" a lot during her 6 months in the life skills program I went through.

 So that evening my daughter and I had a glass of wine, sat on the kitchen floor and read through my mother's insane and unhinged...semi coherent ramblings. I found a "poem" she had written for me on Mother's day. She actually wrote the same poem three times on three sheets of paper, she enjoyed it so much.

 So I figured I'd share it. Now...this is actually pretty mild compared to the hatefueled verbal abuse this woman would fling at me in my text messages and even on Twitter.

 It says

"Happy Mothers Day Daughter"

Fire the blood and severe the cord, run out of the storm, cry out to your lord, of all your deeds you've mountained yourself.

And out of my mercy instead of hanging you, you are shelved- it's just for the children that love you I stay, if you were alone I'd blow you away.
The pain you have caused is unspeakable at best. When it comes to "bitch", you're a leader to the rest.  My mother was a bully, she abused me with ease. You grew up just like her you topped her disease.

It's control and torture my pain that your crave and if at all possible, I'll destroy you from beyond my grave"

- loving, Mother.

"Now tell me I can't write lol""

 I took some compliments from this one. She called me the lead bitch who runs the bitches. To me, this says that my very hard work on myself and getting to a place where I can draw mostly healthy boundaries has been successful so far. Of course I still have work to do...but I'm better than I was. Stronger. Less likely to be taken advantage of. I still struggle with feeling overly responsible for her and things i am NOT responsible for, but I've made A LOT of progress here.

 And I've cut her out of my life entirely at this point....so it's a not going to be an issue ever again.

 Second...she told me I've grown up a lot like my grandmother. That's actually the nicest and best thing she has ever said to me.

 And she noticed my children live me. In my own injured and petty way, I hope that EATS her. That me and my children have such a strong bond and relationship. I hope it makes her feel like total shit. I know it probably doesn't because she is just so fucking hollow and evil and selfish she has never really truly SEEN any one else. She only ever sees herself.

 Years ago when she devoted months to spewing hatred at me in text messages during the last trimester of my last pregnancy, I pointed out to her the things she has done to me and other members of the family that really hurt and did a lot of damage. Her response? "I already absolved myself of that!"

 So she can attack and want revenge on me for shots she imagined I took at her....but for all the pain her actions have caused me and everyone else she's off the hook because she "absolved" herself.

 I don't hate her. But I don't really feel much of anything for her.  If I found put tomorrow she was dead...I wouldn't even care. I would just want to not be bothered by it. I don't want to be responsible for her corpse. I know that sounds awful and maybe it is...but oh well.

 Also to any forum folk who dislike me and think they can hurt my feelings? Well this is why you will always fail. When I reached a point where my own mother telling me she never wanted me, accusing me of abuse, telling people I was pregnant with HER husband's baby after years and years of her not protecting me from his disgusting sexual fixation on me (no he never raped or molested me nor was that line ever crossed....but he would say things and write out these disgusting stories about fucking me and leave them laying around. After he died, my step brother told me that he found that his dad was telling x rated stories about fucking me to strangers on the internet and showing them my pictures)..  she treated me as sexual competition since the day I turned 13. 

 As a child all I ever wanted was her attention and approval. I never got it. And I would bend over backwards and do anything she asked me to do in attempts to earn that attention and approval.

 So if I'm indifferent to this from my own mother don't hold out any hopes any of YOU are gonna hurt my feels. Just saying. 

 Normally I don't share much about this miserable hateful and demonic wraith I call "mom" and my boyfriend calls "slagathor" but eh.

 Enjoy lol

[DKG]

You must have been very surprised to see that Dove.

[formosan]

So every week I have been going to my storage unit and sorting through what remains of my old life.

 Since my mother has been gone, she changed her state payee so she isn't giving me any money to help me pay for the storage unit....nor was she helping take care of cats that SHE wanted to keep but refused to take care of.

 So I'm cleaning out the storage unit and my daughter came across a bag that was filled with notebooks my mother was writing in. She was "Journaling" a lot during her 6 months in the life skills program I went through.

 So that evening my daughter and I had a glass of wine, sat on the kitchen floor and read through my mother's insane and unhinged...semi coherent ramblings. I found a "poem" she had written for me on Mother's day. She actually wrote the same poem three times on three sheets of paper, she enjoyed it so much.

 So I figured I'd share it. Now...this is actually pretty mild compared to the hatefueled verbal abuse this woman would fling at me in my text messages and even on Twitter.

 It says

"Happy Mothers Day Daughter"

Fire the blood and severe the cord, run out of the storm, cry out to your lord, of all your deeds you've mountained yourself.

And out of my mercy instead of hanging you, you are shelved- it's just for the children that love you I stay, if you were alone I'd blow you away.
The pain you have caused is unspeakable at best. When it comes to "bitch", you're a leader to the rest.  My mother was a bully, she abused me with ease. You grew up just like her you topped her disease.

It's control and torture my pain that your crave and if at all possible, I'll destroy you from beyond my grave"

- loving, Mother.

"Now tell me I can't write lol""

 I took some compliments from this one. She called me the lead bitch who runs the bitches. To me, this says that my very hard work on myself and getting to a place where I can draw mostly healthy boundaries has been successful so far. Of course I still have work to do...but I'm better than I was. Stronger. Less likely to be taken advantage of. I still struggle with feeling overly responsible for her and things i am NOT responsible for, but I've made A LOT of progress here.

 And I've cut her out of my life entirely at this point....so it's a not going to be an issue ever again.

 Second...she told me I've grown up a lot like my grandmother. That's actually the nicest and best thing she has ever said to me.

 And she noticed my children live me. In my own injured and petty way, I hope that EATS her. That me and my children have such a strong bond and relationship. I hope it makes her feel like total shit. I know it probably doesn't because she is just so fucking hollow and evil and selfish she has never really truly SEEN any one else. She only ever sees herself.

 Years ago when she devoted months to spewing hatred at me in text messages during the last trimester of my last pregnancy, I pointed out to her the things she has done to me and other members of the family that really hurt and did a lot of damage. Her response? "I already absolved myself of that!"

 So she can attack and want revenge on me for shots she imagined I took at her....but for all the pain her actions have caused me and everyone else she's off the hook because she "absolved" herself.

 I don't hate her. But I don't really feel much of anything for her.  If I found put tomorrow she was dead...I wouldn't even care. I would just want to not be bothered by it. I don't want to be responsible for her corpse. I know that sounds awful and maybe it is...but oh well.

 Also to any forum folk who dislike me and think they can hurt my feelings? Well this is why you will always fail. When I reached a point where my own mother telling me she never wanted me, accusing me of abuse, telling people I was pregnant with HER husband's baby after years and years of her not protecting me from his disgusting sexual fixation on me (no he never raped or molested me nor was that line ever crossed....but he would say things and write out these disgusting stories about fucking me and leave them laying around. After he died, my step brother told me that he found that his dad was telling x rated stories about fucking me to strangers on the internet and showing them my pictures)..  she treated me as sexual competition since the day I turned 13. 

 As a child all I ever wanted was her attention and approval. I never got it. And I would bend over backwards and do anything she asked me to do in attempts to earn that attention and approval.

 So if I'm I different to this from my own mother don't hold out any hopes any of YOU are gonna hurt my feels. Just saying. 

 Normally I don't share much about this miserable hateful and demonic wraith I call "mom" and my boyfriend calls "slagathor" but eh.

 Enjoy lol

Oh my Dove.

[Dove]

You must have been very surprised to see that Dove.

 Not at all....it's pretty mild compared to text messages she's sent me.

[Dove]

 Don't sad face! I'm 43. I've been dealing with her for a long time. I'm not even close to hurt by it and I've grieved the mother I never had a long time ago.

 At this point her large manifestos are just comedy to us.

[DKG]

Don't sad face! I'm 43. I've been dealing with her for a long time. I'm not even close to hurt by it and I've grieved the mother I never had a long time ago.

 At this point her large manifestos are just comedy to us.

[JOE]

Don't sad face! I'm 43. I've been dealing with her for a long time. I'm not even close to hurt by it and I've grieved the mother I never had a long time ago.

 At this point her large manifestos are just comedy to us.

That's too bad you don't get along with you Mom, Dove.

Personally I loved my Mom and think of her every day.
Sometimes I see her in my dreams where she's either with my Dad, her parents or friends she knew in life. I think she is happy in the After life.

My siblings and I took good care of her & gave her everything she wanted to the very end. All the food she wanted, outings she wanted to attend, family gatherings etc. And she got to stay in her own home til the end.

I'm glad we all treated her well because now we feel good about ourselves and are free of any guilt that we could have done better.

She passed away living her life to the fullest doing what she wanted.
 
I remember I made her the last breakfast she ever had the previous morning. She had planned to go to the Opera that night. but she never made it.

She literally died standing up. Got out of bed, had a stroke and then collapsed on the floor.

[DKG]

Dove also said she moved on Joe. You should move on from this lame trolling.

[Bonesaw]

Dove also said she moved on Joe. You should move on from this lame trolling.

Why do you think Joe is trolling?

[Dove]

That's too bad you don't get along with you Mom, Dove.

Personally I loved my Mom and think of her every day.
Sometimes I see her in my dreams where she's either with my Dad, her parents or friends she knew in life. I think she is happy in the After life.

My siblings and I took good care of her & gave her everything she wanted to the very end. All the food she wanted, outings she wanted to attend, family gatherings etc. And she got to stay in her own home til the end.

I'm glad we all treated her well because now we feel good about ourselves and are free of any guilt that we could have done better.

She passed away living her life to the fullest doing what she wanted.
 
I remember I made her the last breakfast she ever had the previous morning. She had planned to go to the Opera that night. but she never made it.

She literally died standing up. Got out of bed, had a stroke and then collapsed on the floor.

 She probably took care of you guys and was a mother, yeah?

 She never ditched you on Christmas Eve while you hysterically sobbed and begged her to stay. Never fucked your spouses. Never had your car impounded. Never stole from you.

 I could go on but I'm sure you get my point.

 Having a mother who is a mother is a blessing you know. Be grateful you had one!

[JOE]

She probably took care of you guys and was a mother, yeah?

 She never ditched you on Christmas Eve while you hysterically sobbed and begged her to stay. Never fucked your spouses. Never had your car impounded. Never stole from you.

 I could go on but I'm sure you get my point.

 Having a mother who is a mother is a blessing you know. Be grateful you had one!

And yet...from the photos you posted, your mother was so beautiful when she was young Dove.

She reminded me of Jaclyn Smith from Charlie's Angels, eh?

[Bonesaw]

I had a thing for Kate Jackson, myself.

[Dove]

And yet...from the photos you posted, your mother was so beautiful when she was young Dove.

She reminded me of Jaclyn Smith from Charlie's Angels, eh?

 Yes actually she looked more like a dark haired Stevie Nick's.

 Now she looks like Golum in a wet straw hat. 

 Turns out hatred and narcissism are not very soft on the appearance.

[JOE]

Yes actually she looked more like a dark haired Stevie Nick's.

 Now she looks like Golum in a wet straw hat. 

 Turns out hatred and narcissism are not very soft on the appearance.

I suspect She had a hard life as you appeared to as well.

When I like back, I think 1980s were a very mean decade.

so anyone who was born then or raised children had a very hard time/life.

It wasn't like the free 'n easy 1960s or early 70s.

Then Reganomics kicked in - everywhere.

You (and your mother) are products of a hard time.

[Dove]

I suspect She had a hard life as you appeared to as well.

When I like back, I think 1980s were a very mean decade.

so anyone who was born then or raised children had a very hard time/life.

It wasn't like the free 'n easy 1960s or early 70s.

Then Reganomics kicked in - everywhere.

You (and your mother) are products of a hard time.

 I promise you, most of her hard life was her own consequences. And a unfortunately a lot of mine was again....her consequences.

 I'm very glad I had my grandmother to step in for me. I was very close with my grandma. She was the Greatest Generation.

 She built parts for planes used in WW2 here in Detroit.