DIVORCE

[caskur]

Some of you here have been divorced. I was wondering how you achieved it? WHAT steps did you take to walk out?



 Did you just pack up and temporarily move to a friend's place, your parents, a cheap hotel...?



What did you do the first day you left?





I am seeing a LOT of vans atm with obvious homeless people... something I have never seen before.





BTW. In a few hours Category 5 Cyclone Ilsa will cross our north Pilbara coast...that is our most severe storm in 14 years..

[Frood]

Van Life is a lifestyle choice these days...

[caskur]

Van Life is a lifestyle choice these days...

 I saw a fully packed rig down the beach a couple of days ago.... surfboards in covers too... Vic number plates... They must be doing some sought of national trek...

[Anonymous]

Ending a relationship, especially a marriage, is a decision not to be made lightly. We are social creatures after all and healthy interpersonal arrangements are to be highly prized, worked towards and cherished above all else.



That said, if you are absolutely certain that yours is over, that there is nothing to salvage and getting the fuck out of Dodge is the only option available, then the answer to your question is "whatever it takes". In my experience it doesn't need to be that drastic, as I have managed to keep a number of exes as friends after the fact, others I've ghosted or simply fallen out of touch with... it all depends on the circumstances. Only one case I can think of where the situation had ever turned physically violent and I made sure I removed myself when I anticipated that I was at the point of responding to her in kind, though I did leave the door open to the notion of third party counselling with a view to reconciliation after I'd packed my bags and done the Harold Holt for a brief stay as I organized alternative accommodation.



In that case, the ex preferred to maintain her drug fueled lifestyle and I wasn't interested in further dalliances with such activities. I left her to her own devices and did my own thing. I'd already spent the better part of five years standing by someone who put their habit in front of the relationship, it did hurt to walk from it but it was the right thing to do. I don't know if she's even still alive and frankly don't care - there's only so much I can do for others, my first responsibility has to be to myself if I am to be in any position to help them and they need to have a similar outlook for themselves if it's going to work. Otherwise....



Everyone's circumstances are going to be different. I would hope none of you ever have to face the unpleasantness and emotional drain of a breakup, but if you do then the best advice I can give is to weigh your options and act rationally. It won't be easy... in fact it's bloody hard to maintain a presence of mind to make the right choice when you feel it all falling apart about you, but you have to try. Don't be frightened to face your own errors and shortcomings either, they are likely a part of why you find yourself where you are and you need to consider them when making your choice. I can't stress that enough, but you should also know not to be hard on yourself when considering them along with your partner's. You can always work on fixing them later if you can't sort them out in the Now, but it is the Now that you need to navigate.

[Shen Li]

Some of you here have been divorced. I was wondering how you achieved it? WHAT steps did you take to walk out?



 Did you just pack up and temporarily move to a friend's place, your parents, a cheap hotel...?



What did you do the first day you left?





I am seeing a LOT of vans atm with obvious homeless people... something I have never seen before.





BTW. In a few hours Category 5 Cyclone Ilsa will cross our north Pilbara coast...that is our most severe storm in 14 years..

My parents are divorced. I wasn't really surprised. They had been living apart under the same roof for many years before my Dad moved in with his girlfriend.



Their house was sold. Mom moved in with us.

[caskur]

Sad... Your poor mum...



Maybe she liked it that way...

[Shen Li]

Sad... Your poor mum...



Maybe she liked it that way...

She knew the marriage was over.

[Lokmar]

My wife was a dirty whore and ran out on me and the kids. It was easy. I got sole custody, child support which it turns out bitches dont pay either, and possession of the house on our first court date. Eventually we settled on joint custody no child support 1 year later.

[Berry Sweet]

Getting out of any relationship married or not is hard.  Even after two years of living together in BC is considered common-law and van be treated like a divorce..some people go after everything they can.



If you are wanting to separate, just do it....move out and move on...don't wait for them...some people like to play games and prolong everything....just do it and deal with it...get help if you think you need it.



My kids dad got divorced from his whirlwind marriage, I knew it wouldn't last...im so glad I got full custody and no contact order...that fycked up relationship helped me get the hell away from him, permanently.  



Don't stay cause you feel sorry for them or the kids sake...some people are just toxic.

[Herman]

I am divorced and remarried. I hooked up with my first wife in my early twenties. I knocked her up and we got married. I was young, working abroad, making good coin and banging every woman I could.



We had an amicable divorce. I never missed a maintenance payment plus I always paid more for extras. I paid my boy's entire costs in university and bought his first vehicle. I have two grandkids with my ex and I see her on occasion at my boy's place. She remarried too and is doing well. As far as divorces go, my divorce is about as good as a guy can expect.

[Erica Mena]

It's always best to have a "go to hell" savings stash, just in case

[Odinson]

Its always best to have a plan to kill your wife... Just incase.

[caskur]

It's always best to have a "go to hell" savings stash, just in case

^^^^ see, now that is smart thinking.

[Shen Li]

It's always best to have a "go to hell" savings stash, just in case

That's what Mom did.

[Frood]

My wife was a dirty whore and ran out on me and the kids. It was easy. I got sole custody, child support which it turns out bitches dont pay either, and possession of the house on our first court date. Eventually we settled on joint custody no child support 1 year later.

Bitches are shielded by the courts in order to continue to behave like unreliable, untrustworthy, conniving bitches.



I would have sold the house just to fund lawyers and court cases that would have MADE HER PAY her fair share..



Good for the goose, it better well be fucking good for the gander when he's doing all the goose's shit too.