You must insult the person above you.

[Frood]

Got busted by the cops for being obnoxious to staff at a Southern Grocery Chain.

His charge was "jerked off in Publix"...

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

He did the jerking.

[Frood]

His Native American Indian name roughly translates to "Shy Slim Jim Carrying 2 Baked Beans"

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

His Pornhub chat handle is Mickey Mousepud.

[J E B Stuart]

Unsuccessfully sued The Sweet years ago for emotional pain and suffering, claiming "Little Willy" subjected his widdle willy to public scorn, ridicule and humiliation.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

The difference between Stuart and an egg is that an egg gets laid.

[Renegade Quark]

Two-bagger.

[Frood]

Went hunting for a piece of ass; got teabagged by a pair of donkeys.

[Renegade Quark]

Is depriving a village somewhere of their fool.

[J E B Stuart]

Has to put on a cup when he wears shorts to keep his knees from knockin' his 'nads.

Amen.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Wears an "ass bra" for his walks. 

[Frood]

Carries two ice cubes in shot glasses around just in case his nads start overheating.

[J E B Stuart]

Brags that he can fart at will.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

His new diet consists of eating whatever sticks to the walls of the deep fryer.

[Renegade Quark]

Is so ugly it hurts my feelings.