You must insult the person above you.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

She thinks chicken pot pie is made from chickens that were allowed to range in a "Mexican garden".

[J E B Stuart]

When he first saw Bryon Noem's rack, Profarooni scoffed, turned up his nose and exclaimed, "What a wannabe puss.  Mine are easily twice that size!"

Amen.

[Shen Li]

Stu has a "brilliant" idea to start a company that makes women's vibrators.
He's going to call it Genital Electric.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

^^^ Meet the first customer and biggest shareholder of that company.

[Shen Li]

The sexual position always used in Prof's house is the doggie position.
Prof sits up and begs and his wife rolls over and plays dead.

[J E B Stuart]

Pulled some strings with ol' Jeb and got hired on as a product tester at Genital Electric. Her first day on the job started off well until  mid-morning when she began stuttering, howling, quivering and sweating profusely. An ambulance was called and shortly after arrival, a quick examination revealed she had a super-sized product called "The jackasshammer" lodgedway beyond  her back door, set on high just pounding away.

On doctor's orders, Shen is home resting. They are hopeful the spontaneous twitching, drooling and yipping will eventually subside within 7-10 days.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

Stu's wife told him their cat needed to be chipped.

Stu only had a 9 iron but he still got it over the shed.

[J E B Stuart]

And that, dear readers, was how Shen's latest cat recipe she called "Shen's Free Fresh Fried Fatty Kat Fritters" came to be.

Amen. 

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

^^^ Meet the taste tester for the recipe.

[Renegade Quark]

Is just jealous of Jeb 'cause he's eating pussy while Prof has to settle for dick.