The Grand Baby Room

[Anonymous]

Thanks AA! My daughter in law sends me pics of her almost every day and I can see little changes and alertness each day. I think she looks like her Mommy.  ac_smile

My son is coming home from Australia this summer with a girlfriend. Man, I hope he does not knock her up. I will be supporting the three of them.

[Annie]

Haha Herman, you don't want to be a Grandpa yet?

[Anonymous]

Haha Herman, you don't want to be a Grandpa yet?

I wouldn't mind being a grandpa if my boy was ready to be a dad. But sadly that is not the case.



Congratulations not just on being a Grannie, but raising a son who became a man.

[Anonymous]

Haha Herman, you don't want to be a Grandpa yet?

I wouldn't mind being a grandpa if my boy was ready to be a dad. But sadly that is not the case.



Congratulations not just on being a Grannie, but raising a son who became a man.

What went wrong Herm?

[Annie]

Aww Herman, I think every person develops into the person they were meant to be in their own time.  With encouragement and patience it usually works out.

[Anonymous]

Aww Herman, I think every person develops into the person they were meant to be in their own time.  With encouragement and patience it usually works out.

But he does not want to work. He wants to go through life couch surfing and travelling. When he's broke he runs to my ex wife or my place. He is 25 soon ffs.



Hey, that's a good avatar.

[Annie]

Well then maybe he just wants to be a professional couch surfer! He can write a book! An autobiography: My life As A Couch Surfer! lol I'm kidding. That has to be tough. When our son was 15 he dropped out of high school, spent his days sleeping and playing video games in his room. We said everything and encouraged him but the only thing that actually worked was that I stopped buying the food he liked (like bacon) I stopped doing his laundry (I even didn't have a clean towel for him to use) each day I took away something he liked like not allowing friends over. It took about 12 days I think when he got off his ass and went out and got a job. He started working at KFC. I told him unless he wants to be forever frying chicken he better get his grade 12 and he did. Now he's 23, working 2 jobs, going to Community College and raising a baby with a wonderful girl.  We did a bunch of other stuff to him and made his life kind of a living hell but we told him we were doing it because we loved him :)



Haha, thanks, I'm a baaad goat  

[Anonymous]

Well then maybe he just wants to be a professional couch surfer! He can write a book! An autobiography: My life As A Couch Surfer! lol I'm kidding. That has to be tough. When our son was 15 he dropped out of high school, spent his days sleeping and playing video games in his room. We said everything and encouraged him but the only thing that actually worked was that I stopped buying the food he liked (like bacon) I stopped doing his laundry (I even didn't have a clean towel for him to use) each day I took away something he liked like not allowing friends over. It took about 12 days I think when he got off his ass and went out and got a job. He started working at KFC. I told him unless he wants to be forever frying chicken he better get his grade 12 and he did. Now he's 23, working 2 jobs, going to Community College and raising a baby with a wonderful girl.  We did a bunch of other stuff to him and made his life kind of a living hell but we told him we were doing it because we loved him :)



Haha, thanks, I'm a baaad goat  

No, you did the right thing Grannie. The situation with my son is different. The wife and I both grew up on farms in Saskatchewan and we had to work physically hard from a young age. We wanted our boy to have an easier life than we had.



I worked all over the world on drilling rigs as a driller, toolpush and finally wellsite consultant. I would be in Africa, the middle East, South East Asia or South America and only coming home every second month to my wife and son. Well we got divorced when he was seven. I put money my monthly maintenance payments in her account from where ever I happened to be in the world.



We made sure he went to university and he graduated with a BA, but it is not an occupation related degree. We never made him get part time jobs and some where he decided work was beneath him. He had a job with the federal government, but he kept taking leaves to travel, party, anything but work. He would run out of money, move in with me or my ex, get a job, pay no bills, use our vehicles and then repeat the finding himself thing again.



I talked with my ex and we have decided he has two months from the time he gets to either of our places to get his own place. He has travelled, had his fun, but it is time to spread his wings and learn to fly without a parental parachute.



I forgot to mention, he has an attitude too. He says, I only care about money. Do you believe that? He lives off of me for free when he is here and surfs the net for couches to sleep on when he travels. Ah frick, what do I do with my boy.



Do you see why I don't want to be a grandpop anytime soon Grannie?

[Annie]

Ahh I see where you're coming from, Herman. Ya, it's time he learns to be independant and take responsibility for himself.  We too put money away (in an RESP) for the kids and he's using some of it again for more courses. Not enough for University but enough to get him into something where he can advance and then take more courses and climb the ladder from there.  There comes a time for all kids when party time is basically over, although if they work hard, there's always a Saturday once in awhile to unwind.

[Anonymous]

Ahh I see where you're coming from, Herman. Ya, it's time he learns to be independant and take responsibility for himself.  We too put money away (in an RESP) for the kids and he's using some of it again for more courses. Not enough for University but enough to get him into something where he can advance and then take more courses and climb the ladder from there.  There comes a time for all kids when party time is basically over, although if they work hard, there's always a Saturday once in awhile to unwind.

You did the right thing getting on his case at a young age. The ex and I waited too long. My son feels entitled. I just hope it's not too late. I really want to see him be an independent man. When that happens I want to be a grandpop.

[Annie]

25 is still relatively young, but once he's say 30, then I'd start to really worry. If you're supporting him financially in any way, I'd start by gradually decreasing those benefits and explain to him that he's not a child anymore and that adults need to take care of themselves. Not too tough love but get on it maybe, that's all I can think of.

[Anonymous]

25 is still relatively young, but once he's say 30, then I'd start to really worry. If you're supporting him financially in any way, I'd start by gradually decreasing those benefits and explain to him that he's not a child anymore and that adults need to take care of themselves. Not too tough love but get on it maybe, that's all I can think of.

It is young, but he should be working towards something. I was married, had him and paying a mortgage at his age.



He will be coming home broke with his Australian girlfriend. My ex and have talked and he can live with either of us for two months for free, but then he will pay room and board or he will be out. He won't be allowed to use our vehicles either after two months. That is a reasonable time frame. It's time for him to be a man.

[Annie]

That's good you have a plan. Stick with it and I'm sure it will work out. How long has it been since he's been home?  Could be that he's a little home sick and misses your guidance and parenting?

[Anonymous]

That's good you have a plan. Stick with it and I'm sure it will work out. How long has it been since he's been home?  Could be that he's a little home sick and misses your guidance and parenting?

He has never had a place of his own. He's never had a vehicle of his own. He lived with my ex when he went to university in Regina. After that he would divide his time between my place and his mother's, live expense free, work briefly and then travel. The free ride is over. And I don't care that he's bringing home his Aussie old lady either.

[Annie]

Well... that didn't last long! They were going to do the cloth diaper thing, but they are now doing disposable.  They might try doing the cloth again when they aren't so tired lol.  Who was it that said that won't last long?  ac_umm  You were right!