Swingers

[Anonymous]

I watched an expose by Lisa Ling on the subject and it got me thinking. Who are these people that would accept the no rules rules? Specifically, who are these women? My wife would think these people are sick. Some of them are a bit off for sure. But, the ones that agreed to be interviewed seemed normal, even successful.



I have thought about it. I fantasized about it to be honest. But, I don't see this saving a relationship on shaky ground. And their were swingers that admitted this makes relationships tougher not easier. I am curious about swinging. What are the thoughts of Blue Cashews on this subject. And Have you ever known anyone who was open about it.

[RW]

I have known people who were openly polyamorous but not swingers.



I have been curious about it, fantasized about it, and gone as far as to discuss it with my spouse.  I just have no idea where to even start.

[Anonymous]

I have known people who were openly polyamorous but not swingers.



I have been curious about it, fantasized about it, and gone as far as to discuss it with my spouse.  I just have no idea where to even start.

I have been waiting for a response. Obviously I'm curious about it too or I wouldn't have asked about it. I would not discuss it with my wife. I see myself as being an occasional fantasizer forever. Even if I my wife was into it, I am scared there is no returning if it doesn't pan out.

[RW]

I have known people who were openly polyamorous but not swingers.



I have been curious about it, fantasized about it, and gone as far as to discuss it with my spouse.  I just have no idea where to even start.

I have been waiting for a response. Obviously I'm curious about it too or I wouldn't have asked about it. I would not discuss it with my wife. I see myself as being an occasional fantasizer forever. Even if I my wife was into it, I am scared there is no returning if it doesn't pan out.

I think it takes the right kind of people in the right kind of relationship to do it.

[keeper]

If i was ever to do something like this the other couples involved would have to VERY good friends of both of us.



I have a female friend that had done this with her husband (his idea) and it ruined their marriage, She agreed to it only to please him. Then he wanted to continue with other couples and she left him.



And yes i was there for her  

[Anonymous]

If i was ever to do something like this the other couples involved would have to VERY good friends of both of us.



I have a female friend that had done this with her husband (his idea) and it ruined their marriage, She agreed to it only to please him. Then he wanted to continue with other couples and she left him.



And yes i was there for her  

Not for me pal. I don't want any connection to the other couple besides a physical one.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

This does not appeal to me one bit.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

I just don't understand why people have to push it. Why can't a normal loving relationship between one man and one woman be enough? Oh but no. They have to find perverse ways to get their kicks too. I don't understand the hunger that eats at them that makes them want more, more, MORE!!! It's so sad. It's sad especially when one of the couple isn't into this. If only the relationship itself was enough.

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand why people have to push it. Why can't a normal loving relationship between one man and one woman be enough? Oh but no. They have to find perverse ways to get their kicks too. I don't understand the hunger that eats at them that makes them want more, more, MORE!!! It's so sad. It's sad especially when one of the couple isn't into this. If only the relationship itself was enough.

I am the first to admit it is not for most people.

[Frood]

I have known people who were openly polyamorous but not swingers.



I have been curious about it, fantasized about it, and gone as far as to discuss it with my spouse.  I just have no idea where to even start.

I have 2 female friends and 3 male friends who went through with it. Only 1 male came out of it still happy about it. The other 2 males didn't propose the idea, it was their partners incessant wish. They weren't very solid on the idea but got wore down over time (close friend of the females, everything was noncommittal and fun with no strings attached pitch, but it wasn't) The 2 females wanted it badly and put down an ultimatum. They invited secret crushes home to partake of the festivities.



All but one of them separated or divorced down the road. Sex started happening along the sidelines after that for the rest. The rest felt very excluded, got bitter, and virtually all lost their relationships which was sad for all the kids involved.



Something I've noticed about swinging breakups is that complete contact networks go dead when those who get found out do a runner on each other and their history. Most of them literally disconnect and go into a Witless Relocation programs rather than be known as that girl or that guy who did a bunch of stuff with multiple girls or guys.  



Something else I've noticed is that all of them were in their thirties or very early forties. Must be a semi-mid life orgasm crises or something.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

When I was still living in the Philippines (until the age of 17), I always heard people say that "Westerners sleep around before they marry so that they get that out of their system before they settle down." Biggest lie I ever heard.

[RW]

Women hit their sexual peak in their 30s and 40s and I think that causes a lot of issues within marriages.  It sounds as if your pals had sexually unsatisfied women who wanted to have sex with other people.



I think guys need to realise that you can't stop giving a woman sexual attention or she will find someone else who will, especially a woman in her 30s/40s.  Sexual complacency/negligence will have a woman moving on to greener pastures in a blink of an eye.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

Fast Rewind. I do remember now when I was in my 30s and 40s. I sure remember that the libido was quite restless then but I never considered swinging.



I think both man and woman need to make sure they are meeting their partner's needs no matter how old they are.

[RW]

Fast Rewind. I do remember now when I was in my 30s and 40s. I sure remember that the libido was quite restless then but I never considered swinging.



I think both man and woman need to make sure they are meeting their partner's needs no matter how old they are.

I agree but 30/40s is when you hear of a lot of women cheating on their spouses.  Sex seems to becomes very important to women.  If I was a guy, I wouldn't take my eyes off my woman at this age because she's in her sexual prime.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

I agree but 30/40s is when you hear of a lot of women cheating on their spouses.  Sex seems to becomes very important to women.  If I was a guy, I wouldn't take my eyes off my woman at this age because she's in her sexual prime.

I agree. Some men are either too confident or too complacent when their women are of that age.