Gay NHL Players, Time to Come Out

[@realAzhyaAryola]

I personally can't imagine gay NHL hockey players but I could be wrong, of course.



Local organizers are expecting more than 50,000 people to take in the parade. Does that surprise you?[/b]



No. I've marched four times in Toronto's gay parade, so I know what this is about. The first I attended was with my son Brendan, who was gay, and we just watched. After we lost him in the car accident [in 2010] I marched the next year. Rick Mercer has marched with me; kids have marched with me; a number of players have marched with me. [Flames players] Mark Giordano and Sean Monahan marched with me last summer. I've gotten great support ... My goal is that one day we won't need a parade. But for now, I'm glad we do. Keep in mind]How did Brendan tell you he was gay?[/b]



We were in Vancouver. I don't remember the date because to me it wasn't a big event. He had come out that week to his brother and two sisters. I came home from an event in Vancouver and it was late and he said, 'I need to talk to you.' And I said, 'What's up?' and he said, 'I'm gay.' I said, 'Oh. Are you sure? Some people go through a questioning phase.' He said he was, and I hugged him. I told him, 'It doesn't change anything, Brendan. You've given us a million reasons to love you and this doesn't change a thing.' Then I hugged him ... and I looked into his eyes and said, 'You know what the best part is? I don't have to take anything back.' No homophobic comments in our house. No racial comments in our house. A lot of parents, when their child comes out, they want to do the right thing but they've got to rebuild some bridges.



But what about what goes on in the heat of a hockey game?



I don't think it's a judgment about a player's sexuality as much as it's habitual. A guy hits you from behind, what do you do? You get up and curse at him and you pick up the biggest rock you can find and throw it as hard as you can. So what's the worst insult we have? It's a homophobic slur; the multisyllabic slur that ends in 'r.' It's just what you say in that situation. It doesn't make it less hurtful. It doesn't make it acceptable. It was that way when I played too. I have no hesitation in being truthful; I said some things I wish I could take back ... But I think we'd have a far worse problem if players were actually making that judgment and still saying it.



The You Can Play project co-started with your son Patrick, is it making a difference?



Basically, You Can Play says, 'If you're good enough to play, you can play on my team.'



It's a powerful message and I know it has saved lives. I know for a fact it has empowered kids to tell their parents they're gay because I get mail from these kids.



I got a wonderful letter from a dad in Ontario who said he was driving his son back to university and the son said, 'Pull over at this liquor store' – which the dad thought was odd because his son didn't drink. He pulled over and the son said, 'Dad, I'm gay.' And the dad said, 'I didn't know what to say. But if [being supportive] was good enough for Brian Burke, it is good enough for me.'



Michael Sam has insisted there are other gay players in football. What can be said about hockey?



We have gay players in the NHL. Statistically, we know that. It's not like this year will be the first time for a gay player. Obviously they're not comfortable in coming out. Jason Collins came out in the NBA but as a player near the end of his career. It's only a matter of time before a player comes out from a current roster in one of those sports and then you'll see numerous others. I think that athlete, when he does come out, will be amazed at the reception he gets, the acceptance he sees.



This interview has been edited and condensed.

[Anonymous]

Brian Burke is an idiot and marching in a parade does not change that fact.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

Come on, Shen. He's doing it in honor of his son. It must be painful to lose him at a young age. Parents don't want that.

[Anonymous]

Come on, Shen. He's doing it in honor of his son. It must be painful to lose him at a young age. Parents don't want that.

I understand that he is grieving. However, marching in a fucking parade changes nothing.

[RW]

Honouring his son's memory by marching in a parade does not make him an idiot.



What would you do if your child came out gay Shen?

[J0E]

Somehow, I don't think many/if any NHL players coming out is gonna happen anytime soon.



Hockey is an extremely violent and physical sport where players punch each other out wall the time and blood is frequently spilt. Can you imagine the furor which would result if the truth came out?



I can imagine players suing each other wanting to kill the other guy and saying stuff like "What? You started a fight with me and spread your blood all over me? You coulda infected me with your social diseases. I'm gonna sue you for using your bodily fluids as a dangerous weapon. In fact I'm gonna kill you."



...and so on.

[RW]

Somehow, I don't think many/if any NHL players coming out is gonna happen anytime soon.



Hockey is an extremely violent and physical sport where players punch each other out wall the time and blood is frequently spilt. Can you imagine the furor which would result if the truth came out?



I can imagine players suing each other wanting to kill the other guy and saying stuff like "What? You started a fight with me and spread your blood all over me? You coulda infected me with your social diseases. I'm gonna sue you for using your bodily fluids as a dangerous weapon. In fact I'm gonna kill you."



...and so on.

Social diseases!!!  ac_toofunny



You're such a clown Joe.

[Anonymous]

Come on, Shen. He's doing it in honor of his son. It must be painful to lose him at a young age. Parents don't want that.

I understand that he is grieving. However, marching in a fucking parade changes nothing.

I have lost a child..



You have no idea of the pain that tragedy brings..



I can relate to Brian Burke.

[RW]

Oh Fash.  I'm so sorry to hear that. :(



My heart breaks for every parent who has lost a child.

[Anonymous]

Oh Fash.  I'm so sorry to hear that. :(



My heart breaks for every parent who has lost a child.

I will never stop grieving.

 ac_crying

[RW]

I wouldn't expect you to.  ac_crying

[Renee]

Come on, Shen. He's doing it in honor of his son. It must be painful to lose him at a young age. Parents don't want that.

I understand that he is grieving. However, marching in a fucking parade changes nothing.

I have lost a child..



You have no idea of the pain that tragedy brings..



I can relate to Brian Burke.

I'm so sorry, Fash.



I can't even imagine the kind of pain losing a child can bring. You have all my sympathies.

[Anonymous]

Come on, Shen. He's doing it in honor of his son. It must be painful to lose him at a young age. Parents don't want that.

I understand that he is grieving. However, marching in a fucking parade changes nothing.

I have lost a child..



You have no idea of the pain that tragedy brings..



I can relate to Brian Burke.

I'm so sorry, Fash.



I can't even imagine the kind of pain losing a child can bring. You have all my sympathies.

Thank you Renee.

[cc]

I have lost 2, one mid teen, one young man, so I will speak "here", damn it.



I have done things toward making the world safer for others in areas that relate to their deaths



Go public about any part of them not related to their deaths nor helpful to keep others alive? Not a chance in hell.



I have to turn the TV down when I hear parents being interviewed and spilling their guts - not sure if I detest the media or them the most.



As to his loss directly, I can relate to Brian Burke.



As to going public, and especially using his dead son for a cause totally unrelated to the death, I cannot relate to Brian Burke in the slightest

[Anonymous]

I have lost 2, one mid teen, one young man, so I will speak "here", damn it.



I have done things toward making the world safer for others in areas that relate to their deaths



Go public about any part of them not related to their deaths nor helpful to keep others alive? Not a chance in hell.



I have to turn the TV down when I hear parents being interviewed and spilling their guts - not sure if I detest the media or them the most.



As to his loss directly, I can relate to Brian Burke.



As to going public, and especially using his dead son for a cause totally unrelated to the death, I cannot relate to Brian Burke in the slightest

Holy fucking shit CC. I knew you lost one, but this is news to me. There's nothing I can say, so I will leave it at that.



I agree though about Burke or parents like him. They make me fucking puke.