Why I am a Redneck

[Anonymous]

These are not mine, but I did Hermanize them.



1. I think "loading the dishwasher" means getting the old lady drunk.

2. When I cut the grass I found a car.

3. I think the stock market has a fence around it.

4. I own a homemade fur coat.

5. My old lady has said "come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

6. I read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

7. Birds are attracted to my beard.

8. I have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

9.  I think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

10. I clean my fingernails with a stick.

11. A can of RAID  is kept on the kitchen table.

12. My mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list every year.

13. There are more than five empty Tim Horton's cups on the floor of my pick up.

14. I think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

15. I have been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

16. My CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.

17. My tattoos are financed.

18. I prefer car keys to Q-tips.

19. I fill my deer tag on the golf course.

20. When someone asks to see my ID I show them my belt buckle.

[Anonymous]

These are not mine, but I did Hermanize them.



1. I think "loading the dishwasher" means getting the old lady drunk.

2. When I cut the grass I found a car.

3. I think the stock market has a fence around it.

4. I own a homemade fur coat.

5. My old lady has said "come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

6. I read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

7. Birds are attracted to my beard.

8. I have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

9.  I think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

10. I clean my fingernails with a stick.

11. A can of RAID  is kept on the kitchen table.

12. My mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list every year.

13. There are more than five Tim Horton's cups on the floor of my pick up.

14. I think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

15. I have been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

16. My CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.

17. My tattoos are financed.

18. I prefer car keys to Q-tips.

19. I fill my deer tag on the golf course.

20. When someone asks to see my ID I show them my belt buckle.

Very funny Herman..

 

Good job Hermanizing them.

 

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a redneck and white trash?

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a redneck and white trash?

I can understand the confusion among people that cannot differentiate between the two cultures.



Rednecks

Rednecks come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Typically Caucasian, but other ethnicities have evolved through mixed marriages. Most Redneck women attire fits no specific fashion standards. Wal-Mart & K-Mart specials and whatever they can find in the local thrift store is typically what they will outfit themselves in. It's usually way to baggy or too tight depending on how good the sale was. Men can be seen outfitted in anything from overalls to cowboy shirts and sporting those well worn wrangler jeans topped off with either cowboy boots, hiking boots or worn down sneakers. Plaid is a favorite color scheme of most Redneck men and even women. You'll also see them sporting their favorite T-shirt acquired by the local truck or tool dealer that gave them out at the fair years ago. A Rednecks favorite event to attend is the Monster Truck rally, the Tractor pull, and of course any Rodeo of any size. The a-fore mentioned are also considered acceptable places to take your wife or girlfriend out on a date or even to celebrate their anniversary. A Rednecks favorite beverage is typically cheap beer, but don't be surprised if you see them knocking back the occasional wine cooler to impress the "ladies". Now, unless you're dealing with a good 'ol boy who doesn't drink, then his favorite beverage might would be Pepsi or Mountain Dew. The Rednecks I grew up around may seem a little uneducated, and slightly ignorant to y'all, but they really would do anything for their neighbors and even a complete stranger.  These guys would literally give you the plaid shirt off their back!



White Trash

Typically White Trash can be distinguished by the way they dress and act. For example most women will be seen wearing halter tops with fat rolls hanging out and daisy duke shorts and these are the women in their forties and fifties even! Men will generally be seen wearing "wife beater" tank tops as they have acquired that name because of the type of men who wear them are usually White Trash and unfortunately beat their wives from time to time. These folks generally reside in single wide trailers in a very trashy trailer park. Meth labs and marijuana farmers are quite prevalent in these areas. When a White Trash woman is pregnant it's not uncommon to see her hanging out at bars smoking and drinking with a T-Shirt that says "knocked Up". If you're wondering who is abusing the bulk of the welfare system than the White Trash Folk is who your dealing with.



First of all the main reason it's so hard to tell the difference white trash and rednecks like me is because so many of us people end up having "mixed marriages". Ever heard the term "shot-gun wedding"? Well some believe that initially originated from a "White Trash" marrying a "Redneck"

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a redneck and white trash?

I can understand the confusion among people that cannot differentiate between the two cultures.



Rednecks

Rednecks come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Typically Caucasian, but other ethnicities have evolved through mixed marriages. Most Redneck women attire fits no specific fashion standards. Wal-Mart & K-Mart specials and whatever they can find in the local thrift store is typically what they will outfit themselves in. It's usually way to baggy or too tight depending on how good the sale was. Men can be seen outfitted in anything from overalls to cowboy shirts and sporting those well worn wrangler jeans topped off with either cowboy boots, hiking boots or worn down sneakers. Plaid is a favorite color scheme of most Redneck men and even women. You'll also see them sporting their favorite T-shirt acquired by the local truck or tool dealer that gave them out at the fair years ago. A Rednecks favorite event to attend is the Monster Truck rally, the Tractor pull, and of course any Rodeo of any size. The a-fore mentioned are also considered acceptable places to take your wife or girlfriend out on a date or even to celebrate their anniversary. A Rednecks favorite beverage is typically cheap beer, but don't be surprised if you see them knocking back the occasional wine cooler to impress the "ladies". Now, unless you're dealing with a good 'ol boy who doesn't drink, then his favorite beverage might would be Pepsi or Mountain Dew. The Rednecks I grew up around may seem a little uneducated, and slightly ignorant to y'all, but they really would do anything for their neighbors and even a complete stranger.  These guys would literally give you the plaid shirt off their back!



White Trash

Typically White Trash can be distinguished by the way they dress and act. For example most women will be seen wearing halter tops with fat rolls hanging out and daisy duke shorts and these are the women in their forties and fifties even! Men will generally be seen wearing "wife beater" tank tops as they have acquired that name because of the type of men who wear them are usually White Trash and unfortunately beat their wives from time to time. These folks generally reside in single wide trailers in a very trashy trailer park. Meth labs and marijuana farmers are quite prevalent in these areas. When a White Trash woman is pregnant it's not uncommon to see her hanging out at bars smoking and drinking with a T-Shirt that says "knocked Up". If you're wondering who is abusing the bulk of the welfare system than the White Trash Folk is who your dealing with.



First of all the main reason it's so hard to tell the difference white trash and rednecks like me is because so many of us people end up having "mixed marriages". Ever heard the term "shot-gun wedding"? Well some believe that initially originated from a "White Trash" marrying a "Redneck"

Where are hillbillies Herm? Please don't tell me that once vibrant culture has been assimilated?

[RW]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

[Anonymous]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

[Anonymous]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

 

[Anonymous]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

 

[Anonymous]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

 

Don't tell me you have never been shitfaced on barrel wash? Next you will be saying you have never even rolled your own smokes.

[Renee]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

 

Don't tell me you have never been shitfaced on barrel wash? Next you will be saying you have never even rolled your own smokes.

I'm pretty certain Fash has never had "barrel wash".    

[Anonymous]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

 

Don't tell me you have never been shitfaced on barrel wash? Next you will be saying you have never even rolled your own smokes.

I'm pretty certain Fash has never had "barrel wash".    

What is barrel wash?



Is that economy sized mouth wash?

[Renee]

Hillbillies own rifles, drive tractors to town because they don't own a car that will make it there reliably, have the same number of teeth as you do fingers on one hand (that rule still counts if you are missing fingers), they've had little to no schooling and often have incestuous relations.

And apertifs are made in a barrel.

 

Don't tell me you have never been shitfaced on barrel wash? Next you will be saying you have never even rolled your own smokes.

I'm pretty certain Fash has never had "barrel wash".    

What is barrel wash?



Is that economy sized mouth wash?

It's when you take an old used wooden whiskey barrel, fill it with water and let sit in the sun for an extended period of time.



The whiskey that had soaked into the wood previously leeches out into the water. What you are left with is this nasty watered down whiskey like fluid that's really unfit for human consumption........Barrel Wash.  

[Anonymous]

It's when you take an old used wooden whiskey barrel, fill it with water and let sit in the sun for an extended period of time.



The whiskey that had soaked into the wood previously leeches out into the water. What you are left with is this nasty watered down whiskey like fluid that's really unfit for human consumption........Barrel Wash.  

EEEEEWWWWW, that's just fucking nasty.

[Anonymous]

Barrel wash is redneck single malt Scotch whiskey.