Please send my grandfather prayers

[Vancouver]

He is suffering from a stroke.

[Vancouver]

Actually it's my grandfather. I thank you shen Li.

[Romero]

Aw. My prayers and thoughts are for your grandfather, you, and your family, VanGuy. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Awww that is so sad VancouverGuy..



My thoughts and prayers will be with your family.

[cc]

Will do so VG.  Wishing good thoughts of comfort for you and your family.



Not trying to compete, but at the same time I am awaiting calls on my mother. Just got a call an hour ago that she had either stoke or more severe heart damage sometime during last night ... was told next 24 hrs will tell which it was and if she comes back partially of if they start what they called "comfort" which means morphine even though she has no pain but breathing would be difficult and the end very near "if that becomes the result of the observation over the next 24 hrs". They tell me she is "comfortable and relaxed" and only marginally responsive but mere mention of possibly applying "comfort" says this is a close call.



She is  in a nursing home in Ontario. That is why it's phone calls. Next 24 will tell the story if she comes back to some extent  or if they just let her go "comfortably". Nurse & doc both said her pacemaker is all that keeps her heart going (for some time now), but there is a limit to what it can do ... and head nurse was blunt in maybe what it "should" do?



Part of me says jump a plane fast, but Mom has had so many bad moments, come back somewhat and keeps on chugging like little happened. So, I think I will wait out the next 24 to get some hard information from those monitoring her. All I know for certain at this moment is that if she "comes back" it will not be all the way.

[Anonymous]

What can I say TVG and CC, my best wishes are with you both.

[cc]

Thanks very much guys.



So far I don't know if this is "it" or not. 24 hrs of monitoring they said before coming to any conclusion.

[Vancouver]

CC I too pray for your mother.

[Anonymous]

CC I too pray for your mother.

I will too VancouverGuy and for your grandfather.

[cc]

Thanks gang. Called night nurse and seems a little bit stronger but not eating at all yet.



Will see tomorrow what they think



She has gone to the "gates" before several times and always stepped back causing docs to shake their heads several times. Tomorrow will tell me more I hope

[cc]

Thurs morning now - I'll be damned. After dire reports yesterday morn from head nurse and doctor (virtually no hope) she has come back again, at least some stronger. Seems no matter how many heat attacks, between her and  her pacemaker  moving blood within her she keeps coming back. I know it won't be too long, and not a fun life at all for her anymore, but she stepped back from the gates again.

[cc]

Being honest, I have mixed feelings. Her life quality is virtually nil. Keeps falling asleep during conversations. For the past months she had had to be lifted with a contraption from the ceiling just to get into her chair or to be put to bed... a helpless and humiliating experience. Head nurse says only the pacemaker forces the heart of keep minimal blood flow going ... just enough flow to keep her alive physically.



Head nurse even said "I hate those pacemakers which are good when a person is active but later force minimal blood flow in a body that does not want to continue, keeping the person physically alive but unable to even move their body". She is cognizant to a large extent, just  drifts back to sleep on a dime as there is no strength. It was that way when I  went there in December and of course gets a bit worse with every heart attack. Today they now know it was heart and not stroke, her greatest fear.



So feelings for me are very mixed as to whether her "miraculous" doctor-fooling recoveries are good or bad.

[cc]

Have been really thinking on this a lot of late. I do not "want her to die" but at the same time I do not want her to "live like this". She often said she did not want It will not get better for her now, only worse for her. So far no strokes, so mind is OK, albeit tardy.



Arrangements have been made for no artificial means of life support. As it turn out though, that pacemaker has become exactly that. While they will honor no devices added, they cannot remove the battery as it is embedded under the skin and would require "going in" to shut it down, a no no under the law. Meantime it keeps pushing the heart to keep minimal circulation going until she has a final stronger heart attack or the battery runs down. Not pretty.



Didn't mean to take over VG's thread, but this came to a likely fatal head yesterday morn only to settle back closer today, with some more further degradation each time, to what has long been the status quo.

[cc]

Yes, she knows. She is cognizant. All decisions to let her go were made by her and enacted by myself some time ago. Those pacemakers, initially one's best friend when one has early heart problems, later can become in effect an unstoppable "artificial means". Her heart, continually kicked into beating, does not have the power left in it to push enough blood to make her strong. They cannot give a bad heart full power ... just enough to keep the person slightly alive with no energy or strength to do anything. I understand why the head nurse who sees it every day in many people hates them so. I'm beginning to myself. Thanks for your concern. It is appreciated.

[cc]

They are for those with poor rhythm, or failure to beat. For years it kept it beating when it stopped and thus gave her a good life when the heart was still strong enough to produce enough to give her a good life.



They cannot stop it from running out of control though (pressure and / or pulse). Each time that happened, it became weakened some more.



They kick it to start when it stops but continue to kick start it even after it knows it should just stop.

Her problem now is that it is not strong enough when beating to produce enough flow to make life livable.



Actually, much harder than "waiting for the inevitable" is knowing that she is not having a reasonably good life (at least some strength and energy) in the meantime. Sadly, her body and heart know it is time to stop but the pacemaker keeps restarting her. Apparently this happens to a lot of people. A medical blessing initially and a later curse all in one device.