Thought the Iron Chink might like this.....

[Obvious Li]

THE RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON



1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.



2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.



3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.



4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.



5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended and cussed out.



6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.



7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first vehicle through the intersection.



8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and more construction starts every day.



9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.



10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye Road are the same road; Wayne Gretsky Drive, Capilano, 75 Street and 66 Street are also the same road; got it?



11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally Activated.'



12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly.



13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur-lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. You also may run out of gas waiting in Tim's drive thru.



   

True

[Anonymous]

THE RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON



1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.



2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00 Shen Li.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.



3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.



4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.



5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended and cussed out.



6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.



7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first vehicle through the intersection.



8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and more construction starts every day.



9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.



10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye Road are the same road; Wayne Gretsky Drive, Capilano, 75 Street and 66 Street are also the same road; got it?



11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally Activated.'



12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly.



13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur-lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. You also may run out of gas waiting in Tim's drive thru.



   

True

Thank you for posting that Obvious Li..



Those rules would apply to Calgary too.

 :)

[Anonymous]

THE RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON



1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.



2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.



3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.



4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.



5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended and cussed out.



6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.



7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first vehicle through the intersection.



8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and more construction starts every day.



9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.



10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye Road are the same road; Wayne Gretsky Drive, Capilano, 75 Street and 66 Street are also the same road; got it?



11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally Activated.'



12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly.



13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur-lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. You also may run out of gas waiting in Tim's drive thru.



   

True

If I ever have the misfortune of going to Edmonton for business I think I will be cabbing it. Then again how can it be worse than the 401?

[Odinson]

Sounds like our traffic.

[Odinson]

Sounds like our traffic.

I assume you mean Helsinki right?

Yea.

[Vancouver]

Sounds like aggressive drivers over there.

[Odinson]

I assume you mean Helsinki right?

Yea.

Is it a nice city besides being frustrating to drive around?

 

It is a nice city.



I would leave my car in the outskirts of the city...

[Odinson]

Is it a nice city besides being frustrating to drive around?

 

It is a nice city.



I would leave my car in the outskirts of the city...

Is that die to traffic or Somali gangs? ;)

Somalis are at the east-central.

[Odinson]

Is that die to traffic or Somali gangs? ;)

Somalis are at the east-central.

Lemme guess, that is not where True Finns do well at election time?

[Anonymous]

Yea.

Is it a nice city besides being frustrating to drive around?

 

It is a nice city.



I would leave my car in the outskirts of the city...

Have you ever driven outside Europe Mr Odinson? How does it compare?

[Odinson]

Is that die to traffic or Somali gangs? ;)

Somalis are at the east-central.

Lemme guess, that is not where True Finns do well at election time?

Correct. :) TrueFinns want to bitchslap the useless ones back to africa and middle-east.



90% of them are either unemployed or in prison.

[Odinson]

Lemme guess, that is not where True Finns do well at election time?

Correct. :) TrueFinns want to bitchslap the useless ones back to africa and middle-east.



90% of them are either unemployed or in prison.

Then that means they are victims and you need to invest(your tax Euros) into helping them adjust to life in racist Finland.

Some "liberal" people ask me why I care...

They are my fucking tax-money too!



They tell me that I´m being a racist. I´m not the one whom is racist, I treat them as equal and the faggots treat them like a baby.

I expect them to pull their weigth.