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Topic summary

Posted by Anonymous
 - May 31, 2016, 09:57:21 AM
Quote from: "smell the glove"This was supposed to be a humorous thread...  I thought it was quite well done!

I understand that.
Posted by smell the glove
 - May 31, 2016, 02:26:30 AM
This was supposed to be a humorous thread...  I thought it was quite well done!
Posted by Anonymous
 - May 30, 2016, 07:45:06 PM
Quote from: "iron horse jockey"Is Mel Gibson still drinking?

The actor or the poster?
Posted by cc
 - May 30, 2016, 02:55:30 PM
.
Posted by Anonymous
 - May 30, 2016, 02:19:37 PM
Is Mel Gibson still drinking?
Posted by Asian Pride
 - May 29, 2016, 09:51:16 PM
NEW YORK – In an exclusive interview on 60 Minutes Sunday night, Hollywood superstar Mel Gibson told host Tyra Banks that his past racial slurs about black people were taken out of context. Fighting to hold back emotion, Gibson came across as a man desperate for redemption and understanding. With her usual tact and professionalism, Tyra goaded Gibson about his latest remarks.



TYRA BANKS:  You once told your girlfriend that if she gets raped by a pack of n!ggers it's her own fault?



MEL GIBSON:  Yes, I did Tyra. And I am so sorry to have said that to anybody, even her.



TYRA BANKS:  But why not Polish people or Mexicans?



MEL GIBSON:  Huh?



TYRA BANKS:  Why couldn't she be raped by a bunch of pollacks or wetbacks instead of niggers?



MEL GIBSON:  Well, now that you mention it...



TYRA BANKS:  And c'mon! With your history of antisemitism, why not have her raped by a posse of kikes, for Christ's sake.



MEL GIBSON:  Hey now, there's no reason to bring Christ in on this.



TYRA BANKS:  Oh I forgot, Jesus is your man.



MEL GIBSON:  Well, sort of. I did make a movie about him that grossed me several hundred million dollars.



TYRA BANKS:  Only one odd tidbit about that, Mel Gibson.



MEL GIBSON:  Oh? What's that?



TYRA BANKS:  Jesus was a Jew!



MEL GIBSON:  Well, according to some.



TYRA BANKS:  So why my people? Why not some Canadian puck-eaters or Puerto Ricans? I mean, think of the gang-rape potential with a pack of spics. Why is it always blacks and Jews with you people?



MEL GIBSON:  By you people, I assume you mean Australians?



TYRA BANKS:  Australians?



MEL GIBSON:  I was raised in Australia



TYRA BANKS:  You're a poddy dodger?



MEL GIBSON:  (defensively) I've never stolen a cow in my life.



TYRA BANKS:  All this time I thought you were a mick.



MEL GIBSON:  My Mother was Irish..



TYRA BANKS:  Well, all you crackers look alike anyway. Now what about that ex-girlfriend of yours? Oksana Grigor...eeva? What the hell kind of name is that?



MEL GIBSON:  She's Russian.



TYRA BANKS:  You did it with a Ruskie? What was that like?



MEL GIBSON:  Not as good as I thought it was going to be.



TYRA BANKS:  And you two reproduced. What's the little tibla's name?



MEL GIBSON:  My lawyer advised me not to talk about her.



TYRA BANKS:  That Ruskie's sure giving you some problems isn't she, you half-breed Ocker.



MEL GIBSON:  A little bit, yeah.



TYRA BANKS:  Well I guess it's obvious now why Reagan did that whole nuclear build-up thing huh? Don't you wish you'd had his insight?



MEL GIBSON:  There's a lot that ....(Overcome with emotion, Gibson wipes a tear from his eye)



TYRA BANKS:  I don't get it, Mel. You get a little space between you and all that Jew stuff a few years ago, and now you're at it again with my homeboys? What gives?



MEL GIBSON:  I'm not perfect. I never said I was. I'm so sorry if I offended anybody.



(Mel Gibson violently blows his nose on a tissue)



MEL GIBSON:  I've worked with a whole lot of hebes that were very friendly to me. And throughout the years some of my best buddies have been n!ggers. Hell, my youngest son is a wigger! I've worked alongside krauts and nips and beaners... so I know better than to call people names when the cameras are rolling or tape recorders are on, Tyra. I know better. And I swear I'm going to act differently from here on out.



TYRA BANKS: (Leaning into Mel) You gonna miss that Ruskie booty ain't ya? I mean, that Sputnik tramp has some scrumptious booty.



MEL GIBSON:  It's too bad she's attached to it.



TYRA BANKS:  Oh no you didn't! Huh-uh!



(Tyra Banks and Mel Gibson share an enthusiastic high-five)



TYRA BANKS:  (laughing) That was cold Mel Gibson!



MEL GIBSON:  I don't know what I been told, but that Ruskie pussy sure is cold.



TYRA BANKS:  (laughing hysterically) OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!



(Tyra Banks and Mel Gibson enthusiastically high-five again)



MEL GIBSON:  Hey Tyra? Why doesn't Poland have a hockey team?



TYRA BANKS:  I don't know.



MEL GIBSON:  They all drown during spring training!



(Tyra howls with laughter)



MEL GIBSON:  Whats the definition of confusion.



TYRA BANKS:  I don't know.



MEL GIBSON:  Fathers day in Harlem!



(Tyra screams with laughter and high-fives Gibson)



TYRA BANKS:  Why did two Jewish guys spend ten years digging around the desert?



MEL GIBSON:  Why?



TYRA BANKS:  One of 'em dropped a quarter!



(Mel Gibson erupts with a burst of laughter and slaps his knees)



MEL GIBSON:  What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire?



TYRA BANKS:  I don't know.



MEL GIBSON:  He drowns!



(Mel Gibson and Tyra Banks almost fall on the floor from hysterical laughing)



TYRA BANKS:  Why do Italians grow mustaches?



MEL GIBSON:  Tell me.



TYRA BANKS:  So they can look like their grandmothers!



(Mel Gibson high-fives Tyra Banks)



MEL GIBSON:  How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb?



TYRA BANKS:  How many?



MEL GISBONS:  Two. One to hold it in place and the other to drink until the room spins.



(Tyra Banks high-fives Mel Gibson)



TYRA BANKS:  How do you get a German out of the bath?



MEL GIBSON:  How?



TYRA BANKS:  Turn on the water!



(Mel Gibson holds his belly while snickering and shaking his head)



TYRA BANKS:  Well, my producers are telling me to wrap it up. I want to thank Mel Gibson for his honesty and his courage for talking with us tonight. And I want to thank you America, for watching my exclusive interview with Hollywood Superstar Mel Gibson. Join me next week when my guest will be former Vice President Al Gore. He's gonna talk about all those freaky sexual assault charges.



MEL GIBSON:  That should be good!



TYRA BANKS:  Oh don't I know it. (Tyra high-fives Mel Gibson) Goodnight America! See you next week!



MEL GIBSON:  (Leaning over to Tyra) So, two dykes and a midget walk into a Mosque....