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Topic summary

Posted by Shen Li
 - Today at 05:39:04 PM
RQ bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if he'd like a bag. RQ said "no, I'll just turn the lights off."
Posted by Renegade Quark
 - Today at 12:11:37 AM
Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Posted by J E B Stuart
 - August 25, 2025, 11:39:52 PM
We told Shen that sitting on people's faces was risky and dangerous no matter how much they may deserve it; that she could catch something really nasty; that people's mouths are chock fulla bacteria, foul organisms, cooties and even worse. But, did she listen? Oh hell no!


Amen. 
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 25, 2025, 03:20:45 PM
He thought sex on TV couldn't hurt until he fell off.
Posted by Prof Emeritus at Fawk U
 - August 25, 2025, 03:17:31 PM
Mixes vodka, root beer, and Drano and calls it a "triple bypass".
Posted by Renegade Quark
 - August 24, 2025, 11:33:22 PM
Has never lost a squinting contest.
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 23, 2025, 07:07:04 PM
The young couple next door to Stu have recently made a sex-tape. Obviously, they don't know that yet.
Posted by J E B Stuart
 - August 23, 2025, 09:28:55 AM
Works at Prof's sperm bank as a volunteer "milk maid". Holds the one day record of two and a half gallons.

Amen.
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 20, 2025, 10:24:51 PM
The nurse at the sperm bank asked Prof if he'd like to masturbate in the cup. Prof said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Posted by Prof Emeritus at Fawk U
 - August 20, 2025, 09:45:24 PM
She tries too hard to please her man during sex.

Of course, he's screaming "Please let me out of here!!!!"
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 14, 2025, 08:57:28 PM
When at the supermarket, Stu always picks the cashier who's most likely to have sex with him. He always ends up at self-checkout.
Posted by J E B Stuart
 - August 14, 2025, 09:53:50 AM
Began attending WNBA games in hopes of scoring free dildos.

Amen.
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 13, 2025, 10:27:39 PM
To him the difference between hungry and horny is where he sticks the cucumber.
Posted by Prof Emeritus at Fawk U
 - August 13, 2025, 05:38:49 PM
She makes sex about as exciting as a root canal.
Posted by Shen Li
 - August 12, 2025, 08:40:22 PM
RQ asked one of my more beautiful Chinese girlfriends for her number. She said "sex sex sex free sex tonight". Like a teenaged boy about to lose his virginity RQ's eyes almost popped out of his head as he said WOW! Then I crushed his dream when I told him she meant 666-3629.