...I'm tired of alot of shit...but mostly I am tired of LO's dad. Lo does not like her dad and feels forced to go on visits with him. I have a court order that he gets her every other saturday and every monday for a few hours...and I am ok with it...I could care less....I even give him extended amounts of time.
However...he was supposed to take LO to a birthday party today (his g/f's daughters) and asked me 2 days ago...I said ok...so this morning he texts me and says the birthday party is cancelled because she was misbehaving and not allowed to have a party...(the exact same thing happened last week...during his saturday visit) so he went out with LO and hsi g/f and her kid for a birthday dinner and movie....so because they cancelled it again today...I told him ok, so lets just call it quits and you can have her next week (there is more about next week..anyhow..) and he starts getting mad at me about how he is not letting me celebrate his g/f's kids birthday..to atleast go out for dinner and movie...wtf??....they did that last week?! And you have to do it again this weekend? How does that make sense?...
...anyhow...he started going off on me on how I was "denying him access" to his child and how I am going against the "court order".....he always threatens me with the "court order" when stupid shit like this comes about....meanwhile...LO is freaking out and getting mad at me.....then there is next weekend....I told him 3 weeks ago...he could have LO on the sunday and not the saturday cause I am taking her away for her bday...and he was ok with it...and now all of a sudden he won't let me cause it's the "court order"....it's "his saturday".....like holy shit!
I am so fed up with this shit...he keeps threatening me like a little boy when he doesn't get his way....not to mention...he is working (and doing something illegal..i am not dumb) and he thinks he is mr big shot cause he makes "all this money" yet he only pays $182/mo child support? The fuck is that shit? Most single moms get $1000+/mo for each kid. This chugaboo tells me he pays a whopping "$182/mo" and it should be enopugh child support...lol...riiight....so i ask him to buy her back to school supplies....none...school fees, none (says he doesn't have money for that).....fucki9n joke. Sad thing is...LO doesn't even like her dad....he likes his g/f and her kid over him...I am ok with it cause atleast she is with nice people....BUT, they are not her family...and she is not spending anytime with his family...it's all her family...
So if anyone has any suggestions or been thru this before...either post here or pm me.
My end result. I am so tired of this nonsense..."me me me..it's all about me....and his harrassment and threats"....so I I am filling to go back to court about this, and say that he should also pay more for child support.
Ms. Berry Sweet.
:)
So sorry, Berry and LO! Unfortunately there's probably not much to suggest as there can only be compromise. I've known families who have gone through this and it always ends up at least a little messy even when there are the best intentions.
Visitations suck for a kid even when they want to see their dad. They just want to go about their life and have their free time but it's like being forced to visit an alternate universe. It's like telling them they have to spend half their weekend at the dentist.
Your ex is making up that crap because it's the only thing he's got to make him look any good. LO's gonna have to take it all with a grain of salt.
$182/month is way too low. What's that, barely covering food? Hopefully the court can get you more but unfortunately there are ways to hide what he's really making. Fathers often don't want to give anything because they can't help but think it's just going to the mother and they're going to frivolously spend their money. They should be thinking of the child! Nothing's stopping them from buying things like clothes and school supplies themselves.
The only suggestion I can think of is sticking to the high road and being the better person.
Have you heard of the Family Maintenance Enforcement Program? Here's a link if you ever need it:
//http://www.fmep.gov.bc.ca/about-the-fmep/what-we-do-how-we-do-it/
Some South Park humour you may like. Saw this again the other day and this clip is pretty funny commentary on what it can be like for a kid to have to go through visitation. If you want, click to 15:40 and watch just a couple of minutes:
//http://southpark-zone.blogspot.com/2008/06/s2-clubhouses.html
sorry to hear about what you are going through.....my daughter is going through a similar situation with a piece of human garbage who is quite likely the stupidest fuckwad i have ever met....the courts are completely on his side vis a vis visitation.....even though he has a criminal record for assaulting females, busted for running a grow op, is a drug addict (cocaine) has never held a job longer than three months and refuses to pay support...the judge "feels sorry" for him and wants to help him get on his feet...the system is completely fucked up.....the best you can hope for is that with the passage of time these losers will self destruct and disappear.
the biggest puzzlement to me is what a beautiful, smart, hard working girl like my daughter could see in a piece of shit like this....will never understand that one.
Awww Berry, The guy sure seems like he enjoys pushing your buttons thats for sure. Maybe its time to not bend over backwards for this guy, Even though LO is prolly going to be the one that gets hurt in the long run. I wouldnt go out of your way to make it easy for him and if he complains, use this past experience as a reminder and throw it in his face. Play nice or fuck off, you DO hold all the cards. Now with that said i think you should move to Alberta (wink wink)
Jeez Berry, I feel bad for you and your beautiful little girl. I am sorry, but I cannot get past the $182/month child support payment. I have never, ever heard of maintenance payments that low. This shit must be so hard on a child too.
All I can say, is that hopefully this guy stops playing games. He needs to put his daughter ahead of his own interests.
I know this is of no help to you Berry, but I am at a loss for words in these situations.
It sounds like to me that he has ill feelings towards our beautiful Berry and would rather see her hurt and struggling than to be a father who provides for his family. The guys a douche, and IMHO no man. I know exactly what is going through his mind, (Hurt me and I will do my best to make you hurt MORE), He is vindictive and immature.
Quote from: "Keeper"
It sure seems that way.
Berry, where are you.
Quote from: "Keeper"
She hasn't been doing much posting lately. No doubt all this drama with her ex is the reason why.
Poor Thing, Shes needs a vacation to Sunny Alberta, we could show her all the sites here, take her to dinner. im buying
Quote from: "Keeper"
Berry Sweet is a lovely lady and I hope she will meet a good man like you.
Quote from: "Keeper"
Shen Li says that Alberta is pretty cold... Winter is coming.
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "Keeper"
Berry Sweet is a lovely lady and I hope she will meet a good man like you.
Berry is going through complicated legal proceedings right now. I doubt she is even thinking about a relationship at this time.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "Keeper"
Berry Sweet is a lovely lady and I hope she will meet a good man like you.
Berry is going through complicated legal proceedings right now. I doubt she is even thinking about a relationship at this time.
Well, a gold-digger like you would be giving poon for money...
Quote from: "Obvious Li"
the biggest puzzlement to me is what a beautiful, smart, hard working girl like my daughter could see in a piece of shit like this....will never understand that one.
its nice to know i am not the only one here!
ive calmed down since then...but i am still sick n tired of his dumb ass...he has evening visits with LO on a week day and he cancelled out last week...and today he texts me and says he has to "work" and can't see her...and then after all his threats he did to me...he has the nerve to ask if he can see her this sunday (yeah ummm...NO! Cause it's my weekend with my kid!
I was nice enough to let LO spend the night at her dads last weekend...she wanted too....and I needed the break...I needed some peace...i guess it went ok...her takes her out and buys her a bunch of stuff (he's trying to buy her in) and then she was upset cause the g/f's daughter (5 years older than LO) was being a little nasty to LO and I guess she wanted to come home. Sad thing is, dummy is trying to use his g/f and her kid to lure LO in...she still doesn't like him...and I know i give it time...LO and the g/f's daughter are going to start fighting...and LO wont want to go on visits....when she doesn't want to go with him....he forces her....i dont like that....but if he keeps this nonsense up...there is going to come a day where LO is going to explode in his face and litteraly and physically not want to go with him. its weird cause she knows her dad went to prison (she doesn't know what for tho...shes gonna ask one day...) but she tells me her dad is a loser cause he went to prison...I don't respond to that....I just listen and look at her....she says negative things about her dad sometimes...and I just let her say it...I don't even bother to try make it better...what he did and is doing is really nasty to me...and I can't stand up for a person like that...he did this shit to himself and now he can suffer the concequences.
Our court process is done for now...we have an Interm order....so unless one of us files again....this is not over yet...I'm better with money than he is...and I will let things go for a little while, and then i will go back to court for the child support issue. Funny thing is...I have called in on him about him working...but no one has gotten back to me or done anything....from what I've heard...child support is done annually during tax time...so once her dad does his t4's...his child support should go up...this way he can't blame me for taking him to court about it (so I don't have to hear about it till the end of time...) but it's the law that makes him do it.
I should go to bed...got a long day tommorow...yack at ya all later! Thx for the support! :)
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
I was nice enough to let LO spend the night at her dads last weekend...she wanted too....and I needed the break...I needed some peace...i guess it went ok...her takes her out and buys her a bunch of stuff (he's trying to buy her in) and then she was upset cause the g/f's daughter (5 years older than LO) was being a little nasty to LO and I guess she wanted to come home. Sad thing is, dummy is trying to use his g/f and her kid to lure LO in...she still doesn't like him...and I know i give it time...LO and the g/f's daughter are going to start fighting...and LO wont want to go on visits....when she doesn't want to go with him....he forces her....i dont like that....but if he keeps this nonsense up...there is going to come a day where LO is going to explode in his face and litteraly and physically not want to go with him. its weird cause she knows her dad went to prison (she doesn't know what for tho...shes gonna ask one day...) but she tells me her dad is a loser cause he went to prison...I don't respond to that....I just listen and look at her....she says negative things about her dad sometimes...and I just let her say it...I don't even bother to try make it better...what he did and is doing is really nasty to me...and I can't stand up for a person like that...he did this shit to himself and now he can suffer the concequences.
Our court process is done for now...we have an Interm order....so unless one of us files again....this is not over yet...I'm better with money than he is...and I will let things go for a little while, and then i will go back to court for the child support issue. Funny thing is...I have called in on him about him working...but no one has gotten back to me or done anything....from what I've heard...child support is done annually during tax time...so once her dad does his t4's...his child support should go up...this way he can't blame me for taking him to court about it (so I don't have to hear about it till the end of time...) but it's the law that makes him do it.
I should go to bed...got a long day tommorow...yack at ya all later! Thx for the support! :)
I don't really know what to say about this Berry. These things are never easy and your ex is certainly not helping matters. Just keep doing what you are doing I guess. Stay strong because it sounds like the ex is not much of a man.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
I was nice enough to let LO spend the night at her dads last weekend...she wanted too....and I needed the break...I needed some peace...i guess it went ok...her takes her out and buys her a bunch of stuff (he's trying to buy her in) and then she was upset cause the g/f's daughter (5 years older than LO) was being a little nasty to LO and I guess she wanted to come home. Sad thing is, dummy is trying to use his g/f and her kid to lure LO in...she still doesn't like him...and I know i give it time...LO and the g/f's daughter are going to start fighting...and LO wont want to go on visits....when she doesn't want to go with him....he forces her....i dont like that....but if he keeps this nonsense up...there is going to come a day where LO is going to explode in his face and litteraly and physically not want to go with him. its weird cause she knows her dad went to prison (she doesn't know what for tho...shes gonna ask one day...) but she tells me her dad is a loser cause he went to prison...I don't respond to that....I just listen and look at her....she says negative things about her dad sometimes...and I just let her say it...I don't even bother to try make it better...what he did and is doing is really nasty to me...and I can't stand up for a person like that...he did this shit to himself and now he can suffer the concequences.
Our court process is done for now...we have an Interm order....so unless one of us files again....this is not over yet...I'm better with money than he is...and I will let things go for a little while, and then i will go back to court for the child support issue. Funny thing is...I have called in on him about him working...but no one has gotten back to me or done anything....from what I've heard...child support is done annually during tax time...so once her dad does his t4's...his child support should go up...this way he can't blame me for taking him to court about it (so I don't have to hear about it till the end of time...) but it's the law that makes him do it.
I should go to bed...got a long day tommorow...yack at ya all later! Thx for the support! :)
You seem to be handling this situation very well Ms. Berry Sweet..
It must be difficult to go about your everyday life with this on your mind all the time..
You have a strong character.
:)