Title: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 04:59:23 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 04:59:23 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 05:03:50 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 05:03:50 PM
So the other day, I had to return something that my husband put on his credit card. I was only partially dressed (bra and panties) when I got to the credit card part (it was on the phone), so I went down to my hubby's office to get his plastic. He was on a conference call, so I came up beside him and waved to get his attention. I mouthed "I need your credit card" and the conversation on the other end stopped. I hear "Mr. RW, do you need a minute?" and then guys laughing. I looked up at his screen and he was on a VIDEO call!
Needless to say I got a talking to. I got another one after his next weekly staff meeting when he boss asked if I would be making another appearance. hahaha
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:05:01 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:05:01 PM
After having sex with my girlfriend we were laying in bed and I made it a practice to NOT go pee before sex ( I could last longer) So I got up to go and I guess ummm it dried up a bit inside closing off the tip, So when I was going I didn't notice I had 2 streams of pee going, 1 hitting the mark and one pissing on the toilet paper to my left
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 05:05:42 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 05:05:42 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:12:26 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:12:26 PM
I only got up out of my chair when it was absolutely and skipped lunch/washroom breaks. In fact I stayed 1 stood against the wall after the meeting adjourned and made sure I was the last person out of the room. It was awkward because the older guys were trying to be gentlemen by saying "after you". Longest meeting I ever attended.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:15:09 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:15:09 PM
ac_umm
After having sex with my girlfriend we were laying in bed and I made it a practice to NOT go pee before sex ( I could last longer) So I got up to go and I guess ummm it dried up a bit inside closing off the tip, So when I was going I didn't notice I had 2 streams of pee going, 1 hitting the mark and one pissing on the toilet paper to my leftac_lmfao , I didn't know what to do so I took it off the holder and tossed it in the trash but couldn't find another one to replace it. I tried to explain what I did but she didn't get it....ac_huh
I have never had a bf piss on my tp before thank gawd. ac_cooper
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:17:38 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:17:38 PM
The first year we were married we experimented like most married couples. They have a sex shop in WEM that we went to and "we" bought a pair of ben wa balls, now I have seen these before and the ones I seen were like oval metal balls, the ones she bought were pink knobby balls lol, Well she insisted that she wanted to "wear" them walking through the mall, okay okay I insisted lol... Sooooooooooooo after about 30 minutes my wife is squeezing my hand like shes giving birth, I laughed so hard it was SO COOL to watch her have these little orgasms. Fun stuff....
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:20:52 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:20:52 PM
I have one about my wife.Quote from: "Keeper"
The first year we were married we experimented like most married couples. They have a sex shop in WEM that we went to and "we" bought a pair of ben wa balls, now I have seen these before and the ones I seen were like oval metal balls, the ones she bought were pink knobby balls lol, Well she insisted that she wanted to "wear" them walking through the mall, okay okay I insisted lol... Sooooooooooooo after about 30 minutes my wife is squeezing my hand like shes giving birth, I laughed so hard it was SO COOL to watch her have these little orgasms. Fun stuff....
Haha, that is funny and I know that shop well.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:20:59 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:20:59 PM
ac_umm
After having sex with my girlfriend we were laying in bed and I made it a practice to NOT go pee before sex ( I could last longer) So I got up to go and I guess ummm it dried up a bit inside closing off the tip, So when I was going I didn't notice I had 2 streams of pee going, 1 hitting the mark and one pissing on the toilet paper to my leftac_lmfao , I didn't know what to do so I took it off the holder and tossed it in the trash but couldn't find another one to replace it. I tried to explain what I did but she didn't get it....ac_huh
I have never had a bf piss on my tp before thank gawd. ac_cooper
Invite me over, Im in the west end right now ac_flower
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:21:56 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:21:56 PM
ac_umm
After having sex with my girlfriend we were laying in bed and I made it a practice to NOT go pee before sex ( I could last longer) So I got up to go and I guess ummm it dried up a bit inside closing off the tip, So when I was going I didn't notice I had 2 streams of pee going, 1 hitting the mark and one pissing on the toilet paper to my leftac_lmfao , I didn't know what to do so I took it off the holder and tossed it in the trash but couldn't find another one to replace it. I tried to explain what I did but she didn't get it....ac_huh
I have never had a bf piss on my tp before thank gawd. ac_cooper
Invite me over, Im in the west end right now ac_flower
Only if you bring your own roll. ac_tongue
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:24:50 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:24:50 PM
Deal
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:26:24 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:26:24 PM
ac_toofunny :howdy:
Deal
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:26:31 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:26:31 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:29:12 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:29:12 PM
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:29:41 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:29:41 PM
We could be like that justin timberlake and mila kunis movie, Friends with Benefits ac_popcornQuote from: "Keeper"
Oh gawd handsome, we can do better than that. That was a stinker of a movie.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:31:51 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:31:51 PM
We could be like that justin timberlake and mila kunis movie, Friends with Benefits ac_popcornQuote from: "Keeper"
Oh gawd handsome, we can do better than that. That was a stinker of a movie.ac_boring
Im talking more of the concept of things
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:32:35 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:32:35 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat and ended up half on on the ground with my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.Quote from: "Renee"
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:36:02 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:36:02 PM
Commandment #1: Thou Shall Not Fall in Love
This relationship yields a different kind of happy ending. You shouldn't be expecting prince charming to come rescue you on a white horse; you should expect someone hung like a horse that makes you come (hopefully). This is the easiest rule to remember but the hardest rule to follow.
It's understandable that you can eventually start to feel comfortable in this affectionate bond you've got going and feelings may start to blossom. If that happens, bitch-slap yourself, sprinkle some cold water on your face, have a drink, and remember, there's a reason you didn't want to date this person to begin with.
Commandment #2: Thou Shall Not Text unless it's a Sext
The only text message you should be sending a friend with benefits is "my place or yours?" and possibly a naked picture that may or may not end up online someday. Other than that, don't ask how their day was, what they had for lunch, or make any kind of bullshit small talk via text because you're bored.
Friends with benefits have strict guidelines and if they are crossed, it leaves room for confusion, awkwardness, and disappointment.
Commandment #3: Thou Shall Not Go On a Date with a Friend with Benefits
Anything, and I do mean anything can constitute a date. So, you have to be extra careful. Grabbing a coffee the morning after? Date. Quick bite to eat before a quickie? Date. Anything that promotes conversation outside of yelling out "Oh God" ... date.
Going out with someone who you have a strictly sexual relationship with leaves the door open for emotional attachment. Emotional attachment will then lead to feelings. Feelings will then lead to your humping buddy crying over a relationship that doesn't actually exist.
Do us all a favor and leave the dates for datemyschool.com. Don't worry though, since it's the most private dating site out there, your FWB partner will never have to find out.
Commandment #4: Thou Shall Not Introduce to Friends
The biggest friend with benefits faux pas is introducing them to your friends and family. This is absolutely unacceptable, unless you introduce them as follows: "Hey guys this is ______, we have a strict fuck when we're horny relationship so you're not allowed to like this person, because I honestly don't unless we're in bed."
If you introduce your friend with benefits to the people who matter in your life, and they actually end up liking the person, you'll never hear the end of it. So, save yourself the headache and a week of soul searching and keep the relationship between you and your partner.
Commandment #5: Thou Shall Keep the Door Open for New Relationships
The reason these kinds of relationships rarely work out is because people close themselves off from finding someone they actually want to be with. They think that because they already have someone they're sleeping with, they don't need to look for anyone else.
A friend with benefits is a temporary fix and should never be misconstrued as a relationship. You have to be open to the possibility of meeting someone who you may actually want to spend some quality time with and eventually close your legs to the past.
Commandment #6: Thou Shall Not Get Jealous
Keep the lines of communication open. If you've met someone you like, have the courtesy to tell your sexual significant other. On the other hand, if they have met someone they like, under no circumstances can you get jealous.
The ground rules were set from the beginning: sex and nothing more. You should be able to be emotionally unattached to a friend with benefits (if you follow the commandments above) and therefore have no problem making a clean break from one another.
Commandment #7: Thou Shall Know the Difference between a Back-Up and a FWB
Quick tutorial: A back-up and a friend with benefits are two completely different entities. A back-up is a friend you probably have never slept with. You bring them to family functions, birthdays, office parties, etc. This person is most likely your best friend of the opposite sex (or same, whatever floats your boat).
A back-up is someone you may eventually end up with because everyone in your life already loves and accepts them. Never, ever, confuse a back-up for a friend with benefits. Back-ups are out there for everyone to see but, as we established before, friends with benefits are for your eyes only.
Commandment #8: Thou Shall Not Cuddle
Save that shit for your next relationship. The beauty of a friend with benefits is that normal rules don't apply. You don't have to cuddle afterwards or spend the night, and you can tell the person what you like and how you like it and no feelings should ever get hurt. This is a no holds barred relationship, get yours and make sure you're always getting it good.
Commandment #9: Thou Shall Not Be FWB with an Actual Friend
Friends with benefits works best if it's with a person you've recently met and haven't bonded with. Don't get me wrong, plenty of us can get drunk and hook up with a person who is actually a good friend. The trick is to not let that one hook up lead into a full blown friend with benefits relationship.
People who were actually friends before have an underlying emotional attachment to one another and that may lead to a hot mess of a relationship.
Commandment #10: Thou Shall Follow All of My Rules
Because I know what I'm talking about.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:37:56 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:37:56 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat and ended up half on on the ground with my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.Quote from: "Renee"
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
ac_umm yes, yes, but did you show off the boobs?
ac_rollseyes What am I going to do with you?
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:40:57 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 05:40:57 PM
You have to be a religious man Keeps and follow the 10 commandments.Quote from: "Shen Li"
Commandment #1: Thou Shall Not Fall in Love
This relationship yields a different kind of happy ending. You shouldn't be expecting prince charming to come rescue you on a white horse; you should expect someone hung like a horse that makes you come (hopefully). This is the easiest rule to remember but the hardest rule to follow.
It's understandable that you can eventually start to feel comfortable in this affectionate bond you've got going and feelings may start to blossom. If that happens, bitch-slap yourself, sprinkle some cold water on your face, have a drink, and remember, there's a reason you didn't want to date this person to begin with.
Commandment #2: Thou Shall Not Text unless it's a Sext
The only text message you should be sending a friend with benefits is "my place or yours?" and possibly a naked picture that may or may not end up online someday. Other than that, don't ask how their day was, what they had for lunch, or make any kind of bullshit small talk via text because you're bored.
Friends with benefits have strict guidelines and if they are crossed, it leaves room for confusion, awkwardness, and disappointment.
Commandment #3: Thou Shall Not Go On a Date with a Friend with Benefits
Anything, and I do mean anything can constitute a date. So, you have to be extra careful. Grabbing a coffee the morning after? Date. Quick bite to eat before a quickie? Date. Anything that promotes conversation outside of yelling out "Oh God" ... date.
Going out with someone who you have a strictly sexual relationship with leaves the door open for emotional attachment. Emotional attachment will then lead to feelings. Feelings will then lead to your humping buddy crying over a relationship that doesn't actually exist.
Do us all a favor and leave the dates for datemyschool.com. Don't worry though, since it's the most private dating site out there, your FWB partner will never have to find out.
Commandment #4: Thou Shall Not Introduce to Friends
The biggest friend with benefits faux pas is introducing them to your friends and family. This is absolutely unacceptable, unless you introduce them as follows: "Hey guys this is ______, we have a strict fuck when we're horny relationship so you're not allowed to like this person, because I honestly don't unless we're in bed."
If you introduce your friend with benefits to the people who matter in your life, and they actually end up liking the person, you'll never hear the end of it. So, save yourself the headache and a week of soul searching and keep the relationship between you and your partner.
Commandment #5: Thou Shall Keep the Door Open for New Relationships
The reason these kinds of relationships rarely work out is because people close themselves off from finding someone they actually want to be with. They think that because they already have someone they're sleeping with, they don't need to look for anyone else.
A friend with benefits is a temporary fix and should never be misconstrued as a relationship. You have to be open to the possibility of meeting someone who you may actually want to spend some quality time with and eventually close your legs to the past.
Commandment #6: Thou Shall Not Get Jealous
Keep the lines of communication open. If you've met someone you like, have the courtesy to tell your sexual significant other. On the other hand, if they have met someone they like, under no circumstances can you get jealous.
The ground rules were set from the beginning: sex and nothing more. You should be able to be emotionally unattached to a friend with benefits (if you follow the commandments above) and therefore have no problem making a clean break from one another.
Commandment #7: Thou Shall Know the Difference between a Back-Up and a FWB
Quick tutorial: A back-up and a friend with benefits are two completely different entities. A back-up is a friend you probably have never slept with. You bring them to family functions, birthdays, office parties, etc. This person is most likely your best friend of the opposite sex (or same, whatever floats your boat).
A back-up is someone you may eventually end up with because everyone in your life already loves and accepts them. Never, ever, confuse a back-up for a friend with benefits. Back-ups are out there for everyone to see but, as we established before, friends with benefits are for your eyes only.
Commandment #8: Thou Shall Not Cuddle
Save that shit for your next relationship. The beauty of a friend with benefits is that normal rules don't apply. You don't have to cuddle afterwards or spend the night, and you can tell the person what you like and how you like it and no feelings should ever get hurt. This is a no holds barred relationship, get yours and make sure you're always getting it good.
Commandment #9: Thou Shall Not Be FWB with an Actual Friend
Friends with benefits works best if it's with a person you've recently met and haven't bonded with. Don't get me wrong, plenty of us can get drunk and hook up with a person who is actually a good friend. The trick is to not let that one hook up lead into a full blown friend with benefits relationship.
People who were actually friends before have an underlying emotional attachment to one another and that may lead to a hot mess of a relationship.
Commandment #10: Thou Shall Follow All of My Rules
Because I know what I'm talking about.
Looks like you got that stuff out of a series of dirty fortune cookies.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:56:27 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:56:27 PM
You have to be a religious man Keeps and follow the 10 commandments.Quote from: "Shen Li"
Commandment #1: Thou Shall Not Fall in Love
This relationship yields a different kind of happy ending. You shouldn't be expecting prince charming to come rescue you on a white horse; you should expect someone hung like a horse that makes you come (hopefully). This is the easiest rule to remember but the hardest rule to follow.
It's understandable that you can eventually start to feel comfortable in this affectionate bond you've got going and feelings may start to blossom. If that happens, bitch-slap yourself, sprinkle some cold water on your face, have a drink, and remember, there's a reason you didn't want to date this person to begin with.
Commandment #2: Thou Shall Not Text unless it's a Sext
The only text message you should be sending a friend with benefits is "my place or yours?" and possibly a naked picture that may or may not end up online someday. Other than that, don't ask how their day was, what they had for lunch, or make any kind of bullshit small talk via text because you're bored.
Friends with benefits have strict guidelines and if they are crossed, it leaves room for confusion, awkwardness, and disappointment.
Commandment #3: Thou Shall Not Go On a Date with a Friend with Benefits
Anything, and I do mean anything can constitute a date. So, you have to be extra careful. Grabbing a coffee the morning after? Date. Quick bite to eat before a quickie? Date. Anything that promotes conversation outside of yelling out "Oh God" ... date.
Going out with someone who you have a strictly sexual relationship with leaves the door open for emotional attachment. Emotional attachment will then lead to feelings. Feelings will then lead to your humping buddy crying over a relationship that doesn't actually exist.
Do us all a favor and leave the dates for datemyschool.com. Don't worry though, since it's the most private dating site out there, your FWB partner will never have to find out.
Commandment #4: Thou Shall Not Introduce to Friends
The biggest friend with benefits faux pas is introducing them to your friends and family. This is absolutely unacceptable, unless you introduce them as follows: "Hey guys this is ______, we have a strict fuck when we're horny relationship so you're not allowed to like this person, because I honestly don't unless we're in bed."
If you introduce your friend with benefits to the people who matter in your life, and they actually end up liking the person, you'll never hear the end of it. So, save yourself the headache and a week of soul searching and keep the relationship between you and your partner.
Commandment #5: Thou Shall Keep the Door Open for New Relationships
The reason these kinds of relationships rarely work out is because people close themselves off from finding someone they actually want to be with. They think that because they already have someone they're sleeping with, they don't need to look for anyone else.
A friend with benefits is a temporary fix and should never be misconstrued as a relationship. You have to be open to the possibility of meeting someone who you may actually want to spend some quality time with and eventually close your legs to the past.
Commandment #6: Thou Shall Not Get Jealous
Keep the lines of communication open. If you've met someone you like, have the courtesy to tell your sexual significant other. On the other hand, if they have met someone they like, under no circumstances can you get jealous.
The ground rules were set from the beginning: sex and nothing more. You should be able to be emotionally unattached to a friend with benefits (if you follow the commandments above) and therefore have no problem making a clean break from one another.
Commandment #7: Thou Shall Know the Difference between a Back-Up and a FWB
Quick tutorial: A back-up and a friend with benefits are two completely different entities. A back-up is a friend you probably have never slept with. You bring them to family functions, birthdays, office parties, etc. This person is most likely your best friend of the opposite sex (or same, whatever floats your boat).
A back-up is someone you may eventually end up with because everyone in your life already loves and accepts them. Never, ever, confuse a back-up for a friend with benefits. Back-ups are out there for everyone to see but, as we established before, friends with benefits are for your eyes only.
Commandment #8: Thou Shall Not Cuddle
Save that shit for your next relationship. The beauty of a friend with benefits is that normal rules don't apply. You don't have to cuddle afterwards or spend the night, and you can tell the person what you like and how you like it and no feelings should ever get hurt. This is a no holds barred relationship, get yours and make sure you're always getting it good.
Commandment #9: Thou Shall Not Be FWB with an Actual Friend
Friends with benefits works best if it's with a person you've recently met and haven't bonded with. Don't get me wrong, plenty of us can get drunk and hook up with a person who is actually a good friend. The trick is to not let that one hook up lead into a full blown friend with benefits relationship.
People who were actually friends before have an underlying emotional attachment to one another and that may lead to a hot mess of a relationship.
Commandment #10: Thou Shall Follow All of My Rules
Because I know what I'm talking about.
Looks like you got that stuff out of a series of dirty fortune cookies.
No, no Renee, this is straight out of the Confucian analects.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:57:28 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 05:57:28 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat andQuote from: "Renee"ended up half on on the groundwith my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Was the ground OK?
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:58:12 PM
Post by: keeper on November 07, 2014, 05:58:12 PM
You have to be a religious man Keeps and follow the 10 commandments.Quote from: "Shen Li"
Commandment #1: Thou Shall Not Fall in Love
This relationship yields a different kind of happy ending. You shouldn't be expecting prince charming to come rescue you on a white horse; you should expect someone hung like a horse that makes you come (hopefully). This is the easiest rule to remember but the hardest rule to follow.
It's understandable that you can eventually start to feel comfortable in this affectionate bond you've got going and feelings may start to blossom. If that happens, bitch-slap yourself, sprinkle some cold water on your face, have a drink, and remember, there's a reason you didn't want to date this person to begin with.
Commandment #2: Thou Shall Not Text unless it's a Sext
The only text message you should be sending a friend with benefits is "my place or yours?" and possibly a naked picture that may or may not end up online someday. Other than that, don't ask how their day was, what they had for lunch, or make any kind of bullshit small talk via text because you're bored.
Friends with benefits have strict guidelines and if they are crossed, it leaves room for confusion, awkwardness, and disappointment.
Commandment #3: Thou Shall Not Go On a Date with a Friend with Benefits
Anything, and I do mean anything can constitute a date. So, you have to be extra careful. Grabbing a coffee the morning after? Date. Quick bite to eat before a quickie? Date. Anything that promotes conversation outside of yelling out "Oh God" ... date.
Going out with someone who you have a strictly sexual relationship with leaves the door open for emotional attachment. Emotional attachment will then lead to feelings. Feelings will then lead to your humping buddy crying over a relationship that doesn't actually exist.
Do us all a favor and leave the dates for datemyschool.com. Don't worry though, since it's the most private dating site out there, your FWB partner will never have to find out.
Commandment #4: Thou Shall Not Introduce to Friends
The biggest friend with benefits faux pas is introducing them to your friends and family. This is absolutely unacceptable, unless you introduce them as follows: "Hey guys this is ______, we have a strict fuck when we're horny relationship so you're not allowed to like this person, because I honestly don't unless we're in bed."
If you introduce your friend with benefits to the people who matter in your life, and they actually end up liking the person, you'll never hear the end of it. So, save yourself the headache and a week of soul searching and keep the relationship between you and your partner.
Commandment #5: Thou Shall Keep the Door Open for New Relationships
The reason these kinds of relationships rarely work out is because people close themselves off from finding someone they actually want to be with. They think that because they already have someone they're sleeping with, they don't need to look for anyone else.
A friend with benefits is a temporary fix and should never be misconstrued as a relationship. You have to be open to the possibility of meeting someone who you may actually want to spend some quality time with and eventually close your legs to the past.
Commandment #6: Thou Shall Not Get Jealous
Keep the lines of communication open. If you've met someone you like, have the courtesy to tell your sexual significant other. On the other hand, if they have met someone they like, under no circumstances can you get jealous.
The ground rules were set from the beginning: sex and nothing more. You should be able to be emotionally unattached to a friend with benefits (if you follow the commandments above) and therefore have no problem making a clean break from one another.
Commandment #7: Thou Shall Know the Difference between a Back-Up and a FWB
Quick tutorial: A back-up and a friend with benefits are two completely different entities. A back-up is a friend you probably have never slept with. You bring them to family functions, birthdays, office parties, etc. This person is most likely your best friend of the opposite sex (or same, whatever floats your boat).
A back-up is someone you may eventually end up with because everyone in your life already loves and accepts them. Never, ever, confuse a back-up for a friend with benefits. Back-ups are out there for everyone to see but, as we established before, friends with benefits are for your eyes only.
Commandment #8: Thou Shall Not Cuddle
Save that shit for your next relationship. The beauty of a friend with benefits is that normal rules don't apply. You don't have to cuddle afterwards or spend the night, and you can tell the person what you like and how you like it and no feelings should ever get hurt. This is a no holds barred relationship, get yours and make sure you're always getting it good.
Commandment #9: Thou Shall Not Be FWB with an Actual Friend
Friends with benefits works best if it's with a person you've recently met and haven't bonded with. Don't get me wrong, plenty of us can get drunk and hook up with a person who is actually a good friend. The trick is to not let that one hook up lead into a full blown friend with benefits relationship.
People who were actually friends before have an underlying emotional attachment to one another and that may lead to a hot mess of a relationship.
Commandment #10: Thou Shall Follow All of My Rules
Because I know what I'm talking about.
Looks like you got that stuff out of a series of dirty fortune cookies.
LOL
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:12:41 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:12:41 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat andQuote from: "Renee"ended up half on on the groundwith my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Was the ground OK?ac_razz
My punishment for sharing. ac_rollseyes
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:16:14 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:16:14 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat andQuote from: "Renee"ended up half on on the groundwith my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Was the ground OK?ac_razz
No, there were two big dents in it where my boobs landed.
I guess you wouldn't know about stuff like that.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 06:16:37 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 06:16:37 PM
I once fell out of the drivers seat a Chevy Tahoe at the bank drive thru. The truck was brand new and I wasn't used to driving it, it was a lot bigger than I was used to. I stopped too far from the drawer and being short I had to open the driver's door to reach the open cash drawer. As I put the deposit into the open drawer I got my watch band caught on the corner of the drawer. I guess the teller wasn't paying attention and started closing the drawer. I quickly tried to free my watch band and lost my balance and slid out of the driver's seat andQuote from: "Renee"ended up half on on the groundwith my feet still in the truck. The bank teller freaked and two people from the line behind me came out of their cars to see if I was okay. I think they thought I had a seizure or a heart attack or something and when I explained that I just got my watch band caught they looked at me and burst out laughing hysterically. They probably thought I was some dumb fat retard.
Fortunately I was okay except for an extremely bruised ego.
Was the ground OK?ac_razz
My punishment for sharing. ac_rollseyes
No, no we're all friends which includes a little teasing.
BTW, my husband saw your picture and thinks you look like a very large East Asian woman cuz of your eyes in that pic. Sorry, I laughed the yellow off my ass when he said that.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:20:30 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:20:30 PM
Was the ground OK?ac_razz
My punishment for sharing. ac_rollseyes
No, no we're all friends which includes a little teasing.
BTW, my husband saw your picture and thinks you look like a very large East Asian woman cuz of your eyes in that pic. Sorry, I laughed the yellow off my ass when he said that.ac_lmfao
You know I was afraid of that after I looked at the touched up and re-sized pic. I was like Jesus Christ, you could pass for a chubby Asian chick.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 06:21:38 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 07, 2014, 06:21:38 PM
My punishment for sharing. ac_rollseyes
No, no we're all friends which includes a little teasing.
BTW, my husband saw your picture and thinks you look like a very large East Asian woman cuz of your eyes in that pic. Sorry, I laughed the yellow off my ass when he said that.ac_lmfao
You know I was afraid of that after I looked at the touched up and re-sized pic.I was like Jesus you could pass for a chubby Asian chick. ac_biggrin
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:30:01 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 06:30:01 PM
No, no we're all friends which includes a little teasing.
BTW, my husband saw your picture and thinks you look like a very large East Asian woman cuz of your eyes in that pic. Sorry, I laughed the yellow off my ass when he said that.ac_lmfao
You know I was afraid of that after I looked at the touched up and re-sized pic.I was like Jesus you could pass for a chubby Asian chick. ac_biggrin
Not that there's anything wrong with that.ac_toofunny
It's kind of a rare thing, I guess.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 06:44:38 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 06:44:38 PM
So one day, I was "toy" shopping online. I had gone so far as getting out my measuring tape to see how long and wide things were based on the dimensions. So I'm doing my thing when the door bell rings. I go to the front door and there is no one there, so I look across the house and two guys from Shaw Cable are at my back door. I had forgotten my they were coming to install something. So I open the patio door and call them over. So they are standing in front of me talking away when I notice one guy look over his shoulder and stop talking. Then the other guy looked as well. You see, my desk at the time was right beside the patio door. So I turn around to see what they are looking at and there is 8 inches of rubbery goodness FULL SCREEN on my desktop. I calmly turned around, informed them I was going to get my husband and I hid in my room until they left hahaha
The funniest thing about it was the neighbour next door dug a hole and cut our cable line. When I called for repair, BOTH those guys called back immediately offering to come check it out hahaha
DOH!
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 07:17:47 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 07:17:47 PM
I rode a horse once as well. It wasn't pretty. It was at a dude ranch years ago while on a family vacation. The handlers gave us some quick riding instructions and short demonstration on how to control and guide a horse. They assigned my husband and daughters each a horse and when it was my turn they took one look at me and said "let's put mom on Orry". Well the next thing I know a big dirty looking cowboy thing leads out the biggest God damn horse I've ever seen
Fortunately the gigantic horse was so used to the trail that they lead us onto that it just followed the path eating grass and leaves along the way all at its own glacial pace. When I tried to kick it to urge it along my legs were too short for it to even notice my effort. In fact after one or two kicks it sort of turned around and looked at me like as if to say "fuck off fat ass, you suck at riding". Fortunately my giant mount knew more about what he or she was doing than I did and we made it back to the stable not too far behind the others where I immediately climbed off the horse like a spider climbing down the side of a house and never got on one again.
That's my horse story. Not too glamorous or exciting but my *wonderful* family still laughs hysterically about it.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 07:30:07 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 07:30:07 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 07:40:00 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 07:40:00 PM
So true to form, I was at the pool, and I step out onto the board to do a one and a half flip (a flip that ends in a dive). As usual, there was a line up of guys watching and waiting for their turn. So I leap to the end of the board, drop down for a spring and start spinning. Well this time, I over rotated and ended up hitting the water flat front. The sound it made was deafening. It felt like someone had slapped the whole front of my body at the same time. I could hear the collective gasp of the entire pool from under the water, which at that point, I think I would have rather drown that come back up but the instinct to breath is a strong one so up I came. The entire pool was staring at me. I swear people came out of the sauna to see WTF that noise was.
Embarrassing.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 07:52:32 PM
Post by: Renee on November 07, 2014, 07:52:32 PM
I used to like diving - like off spring boards - and I would spend most of my pool time hiking up the ladder and jumping off doing all sorts of flips and tricks. Of course, guys seeing a girl do stunts weren't ones to be upstaged so I'd always have a collection of guys trying to show off. Now I'm honestly not much of an attention whore IRL, but standing backwards on the end of a high board would garner a lot of stares from pool patrons and I really enjoyed the suspense and spectacle of it.Quote from: "Real Woman"
So true to form, I was at the pool, and I step out onto the board to do a one and a half flip (a flip that ends in a dive). As usual, there was a line up of guys watching and waiting for their turn. So I leap to the end of the board, drop down for a spring and start spinning. Well this time, I over rotated and ended up hitting the water flat front. The sound it made was deafening. It felt like someone had slapped the whole front of my body at the same time. I could hear the collective gasp of the entire pool from under the water, which at that point, I think I would have rather drown that come back up but the instinct to breath is a strong one so up I came. The entire pool was staring at me. I swear people came out of the sauna to see WTF that noise was.
Embarrassing.
I would laugh but that sound like it really hurt.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 08:21:47 PM
Post by: RW on November 07, 2014, 08:21:47 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 12:52:50 AM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 12:52:50 AM
I'm trying to work up the time to tell about my now hubby, myself and the German maid at the Sylvia Hotel on English Bay during our quite early courtship daze.
If I forget ... have had many physical and heart things on my plate of late ... kick me and I'll spill my guts .... no skin off me, he was the "butt" of it anyhow.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 03:28:33 AM
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 03:28:33 AM
I am sorry to hear you are having issues. I hope things settle down for you quickly.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 08, 2014, 11:38:34 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 08, 2014, 11:38:34 AM
I have had embarrassing moments too, but I will not reveal them..
It is too embarrassing for me.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Gary Oak on November 08, 2014, 01:52:35 PM
Post by: Gary Oak on November 08, 2014, 01:52:35 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:58:43 PM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:58:43 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:58:50 PM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:58:50 PM
Following a crazy month of "getting to know each other" ... in every possible position and location within my apartment-become-love-den ... bed, couch, rug, chairs including kitchen, tub, entry mat, me held upside-down in front of the tall hall mirror, etc. ..... nightly "preliminaries" in the dark corner of Sofia's Restaurant, shared Caesar & appetizers (and their specialty, deep fried avocados – I kid you not, they were to dream for) for late dinner always ending with us rushing back to my apartment a block away ... not leaving the Fairfield area of Victoria for the 1st 3 or 4 weeks. I was very mischievous there ... his very being brought out a side of me that I had not known before – I need to tell some of the embarrassing events the devil made me cause at Sofia's in another story. (Sofia's in the Fairfield area of Victoria did not show up in a google search ... makes me sad to think it may be gone now)
We both quickly knew we were in this for life and decided a wild few days away would deepen our rapidly growing selves within this absolutely crazy "us".
The previous year, he had lived very alone and deliberately kept to himself in the West End literally at Stanley Park and knew the area well and used it to ease the hurt from recent horrible losses .. the hotel bars ... fortunately he was a Scotch (or end of evening Drambuie) "sipper", and not a "drinker" .. .got to know the tiny dark private restaurants and their owners. He had told me how he sat in the Sylvia Hotel bar / restaurant late many nights imagining a several days long love-tryst fantasy "upstairs" after he finally met the fantasy mind / body lady he knew he would someday meet. Thus, the Sylvia was a meant-to-be natural.
On the ferry ride to Van, clearly we never got out of his van / shaggin wagon in the bowels of the ship. No, it didn't have a "if this van is rockin, don't come a knockin" sign on it ... it was quite classy but to the trained eye obviously contained all the desirable accouterments .. and was occupied.
Forced to leave by the blaring loudspeaker and horns blaring behind us, he took me along Denman on the way to his special and personal Sylvia and pointed out his special little restaurants we would soon be visiting for a few days. Mr. & Mrs. Smith checked into the Sylvia and took the "special" made for sex suite hidden away on the top floor.
This guy somehow turned me into a fountain ... something that had happened a few times before him but I had always fought it off out of embarrassment ... greatly limiting my most extreme pleasure moments .. .he explained what it really was and made me comfortable with my peculiarity to the extent that I played into it ... encouraged him to turn me loose ... soaking sheets ... I don't mean wetting them ... I mean "soaking" them and everything that got in the path.
The older German maid had to wonder what the hell we were doing when she made the bed each morning, so we went out of our way to avoid her ... checked the halls were clear etc to make sure she would not see us.
To get the entire picture, you need to know that the the entry to the room had a short hall from which one could only see the foot of the bed and the huge chandelier. That, and my new-found freedom to let go and allow him to cause me to soak the sheets / entire bed are needed background.
Well, Sunday morning arrived. For some reason we forgot that we were satiated (and saturated) from Sat night's activities. Suddenly very brave, I ordered him to stand by the foot of the bed. Rapidly growing braver every day now, tease-moi was on the bed slowly displaying and touching my parts as he stood there naked and displaying proof of his "growing" interest. One of my brazen tricks was to flick my by no means small bra with my toes .... it bounced off the ceiling and caught on the chandelier ... stuck there lifelike horizontally in a manner displaying all its grandeur.
We both laughed and proudly left it there. I went to him at the foot of the bed, kneeled in front of him and tickling him with my panties, wrapping them around it and slowly teased him into a state beyond anything I had seen of him before.
OOPS!! In our desperate haste to get into the room after sexy talk and leg activity in the lounge downstairs the night before, we had forgotten to place the "Don't make up the room" sign. Suddenly there was the sound of the key in the door and the door opening. Being the brazen sneak I had become of late, I dove far up onto the bed out of site from the entry hall.
He froze in amazement of my speed and was left standing there, bra hanging from the chandelier, holding my scarlet panties around his roaring manhood while standing at a perfect 90 degree angle to the door ... and appearing to be completely alone in the room ... slowly becoming aware that it appeared he had the room only for himself complete with lots of sexy dirty weekend type female clothes ... and that now he would further be solely blamed for the strangely soaked sheets also.
We heard a scream and the word "pervert" loudly in a thick German accent ... and the door slam loudly. Naked, I was laughing uncontrollably ... curled into fetal as my stomach hurt from laughing so hard .... which only made it worse for him. Fortunately he soon got over his embarrassment and quickly began to see how funny it was ..... moved toward me and "punished" me for laughing for a considerable length of time and by several means.
Once my delightful "punishment" was over, we dressed and went for breakfast. He had me check the halls to be sure the maid was not around .... I went ahead and dishonestly motioned to him "all clear" ... he went toward the elevator and there was the maid .. again shouting "pervert" at him as he tried to hide himself where there was nowhere to hide.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:59:10 PM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 02:59:10 PM
-------------------
That event started inadvertently, but I took advantage and made it worse. I don't know where my newly found mischievousness came from. It started very early in our relationship / sex fest, but I did many silly things to mildly embarrass him .... including a couple of very blatant things at our late night dinners at Sofia's .. all made possible by and emanating from our crazy never stopping sex. Soon I will tell a couple of embarrassing things I caused for him at Sofia's later.
I guess it was my first taste of total trust from and toward a man that gave me the freedom to be mischievous and deliberately set up momentary embarrassments for him .... moments we continue to treasure and re-tell today
They are not to the level of the above one (one could never set up one like that), but were mischievous on my part, briefly embarrassing for him at the time ..... he soon got over them and found them quite funny ... but ... still played along and delivered earned punishment upon me. ... hmmm ... maybe I am beginning to understand why I did these evil things the devil made me do
although I still suspect he knew all along that trucker was right behind our motor home that day driving south from Fairmont while I was performing for my lover for him to watch in his rear view mirror ...... sure that he would eventually find a place to pull over and park .... I was so aroused that I was oblivious of everything except my still fairly new lover watching and encouraging me ..... we both lost count of how many times I came
Damn, now there IS a story of me being embarrassed when I finally went to the back window of the motor home ... only to see a huge semi very closeup with driver and crew just above eye level ... 4 wide open eyeballs looking directly at me ... at the perfect angle to see the bed I had been performing on in the motor home.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 05:42:31 PM
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 05:42:31 PM
Lucky truckers too.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 06:22:41 PM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 06:22:41 PM
joke would have been on me if they had stopped with us when we pulled over along the highway ... We pulled into a place with a small lake right there so we stayed the night ... cooked prawns on sticks in the huge fire we built that night on the shore after dark ..... joked about my "fans" ... great memories ... great times as his (later ours) motor home was a beauty
it was the same 30 ft motor home we stayed in at Castlegar Golf Course a cpl of years later for 3 or 4 months ..... some "tails" there too ... I need to take some time and document some of our adventures
Wish had known you in those days. Would have loved to talk with you in person
Guess I should start a thread in your Pink site for the Sylvia "tail" .. and for future Sophia Restaurant "tails" ... I was a saucy bitch there ... but I know the devil made me do it
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: @realAzhyaAryola on November 08, 2014, 06:43:07 PM
Post by: @realAzhyaAryola on November 08, 2014, 06:43:07 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 06:44:34 PM
Post by: cc on November 08, 2014, 06:44:34 PM
Was creating a new logo for his business during our stay there ..... needed golf ball pics to work from and had seen a great Titleist Golf Balls ad and wanted a copy .... called a sport shop and asked if they had "tit - ly - est" balls" .. the guy broke up and couldn't stop laughing ... then quoted me to others in the shop ... he said he had the ad and would love to meet me
Mate & others still tease me about that one - Funny as I so often enjoy playing the dumb blond .. but that was not planned.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 11:09:44 PM
Post by: RW on November 08, 2014, 11:09:44 PM
I wish I knew you back then too cc. I could see us having awesome chats. I'm not much of a golfer though, but always good for a laugh.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 12:43:13 AM
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 12:43:13 AM
We did regular fast rounds alone at Castlegar before dusk - Nice people. They told him to play anytime the course was not busy and to use their cart to get around fast before it got too dark. He was in the business of doing projects on courses. .. playing golf itself was optional
They had a club pro there who was a phenomenal trick shot artist ... great person also .... I'll try to remember his name. The club brought in busloads of Japanese golf tourists just to watch him perform .. for a fee to the club
We were / are lovers, not golfers
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 07:48:47 PM
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 07:48:47 PM
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 07:49:23 PM
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 07:49:23 PM
We were / are lovers, not golfersQuote from: "cc li tarte"ac_smile
Same here. I deal much better with balls and holes in the bedroom than on a golf course hahaha
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 08:40:14 PM
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 08:40:14 PM
If ages were right it could be a great "approach" shot.I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 09:14:13 PM
Post by: RW on November 09, 2014, 09:14:13 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 10:30:12 PM
Post by: cc on November 09, 2014, 10:30:12 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Renee on November 10, 2014, 10:51:37 AM
Post by: Renee on November 10, 2014, 10:51:37 AM
I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
Christ all mighty; you're dangerous.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 10, 2014, 11:39:21 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 10, 2014, 11:39:21 AM
I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
I almost forgot there is a Christina Lake in the Kootenays. There's also one near Fort McMurray.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 05:02:53 PM
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 05:02:53 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: cc on November 10, 2014, 06:58:31 PM
Post by: cc on November 10, 2014, 06:58:31 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 09:32:51 PM
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 09:32:51 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 09:34:06 PM
Post by: RW on November 10, 2014, 09:34:06 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 10, 2014, 10:55:17 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 10, 2014, 10:55:17 PM
I would bet ours is better :)Quote from: "Real Woman"
People make money at ours so they can spend it at yours.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 02:15:24 AM
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 02:15:24 AM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Obvious Li on November 11, 2014, 03:19:15 AM
Post by: Obvious Li on November 11, 2014, 03:19:15 AM
So wouldn't people at mine be making money too then?Quote from: "Real Woman"
generally people at yours would be collecting govt. checks......almost bought time share there many years ago but to far from civilization then...now it would be cool to live there.....
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 08:52:57 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 08:52:57 AM
I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
We have been to Christina Lake several times..
We go that part of BC every summer in our motor home.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 10:16:21 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 10:16:21 AM
So wouldn't people at mine be making money too then?Quote from: "Real Woman"
generally people at yours would be collecting govt. checks......almost bought time share there many years ago but to far from civilization then...now it would be cool to live there.....ac_dunno
The Kootenay one has people at play, but the NE Alberta one has people at work. Nothing wrong with that. BC Christina Lake's competitive advantage is tourism.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 08:39:36 PM
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 08:39:36 PM
I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
We have been to Christina Lake several times..
We go that part of BC every summer in our motor home.
Where do you stay in your motor home when you're there?
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 08:40:28 PM
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 08:40:28 PM
So wouldn't people at mine be making money too then?Quote from: "Real Woman"
generally people at yours would be collecting govt. checks......almost bought time share there many years ago but to far from civilization then...now it would be cool to live there.....ac_dunno
The Kootenay one has people at play, but the NE Alberta one has people at work. Nothing wrong with that. BC Christina Lake's competitive advantage is tourism.
Only a few months out of the year. I love it there.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 11:26:12 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 11:26:12 PM
generally people at yours would be collecting govt. checks......almost bought time share there many years ago but to far from civilization then...now it would be cool to live there.....ac_dunno
The Kootenay one has people at play, but the NE Alberta one has people at work. Nothing wrong with that. BC Christina Lake's competitive advantage is tourism.
Only a few months out of the year. I love it there.
I don't blame ya. When I was younger and my parents were in happier times we used to go to the Okanagan, the Kootenays and Shuswap lake. Sooooooo relaxing.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 11:31:10 PM
Post by: RW on November 11, 2014, 11:31:10 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 11:42:00 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 11, 2014, 11:42:00 PM
I love going to the Okanagan. My inlaws live there.Quote from: "Real Woman"
Oh, I love that big lake. Damn near summer paradise.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 12, 2014, 01:04:10 AM
Post by: RW on November 12, 2014, 01:04:10 AM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 12, 2014, 07:41:41 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 12, 2014, 07:41:41 AM
I do have an embarrassing golf story.Quote from: "Real Woman"
I was about 17 or so and I went golfing one year at the par 3 at Christina Lake with my dad and uncles. So the way it works, is where you tee for the 2nd hole, it doubled back towards where you tee off for the first hole (if that makes any sense). There was this group of 4 really hot guys on the first hole - like we're talking cut, tanned, beach soaked hotness. So I was up, and I get out my wood and I whack the ball...right into them. I nailed one of the guys right in the shin. So not only did I hurt one of the guys, I had to go up and get my ball and apologize like a total feeb. It was bad.
We have been to Christina Lake several times..
We go that part of BC every summer in our motor home.
Where do you stay in your motor home when you're there?
We have stayed at Christina Pines, Christina Lake Village in the past.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 12, 2014, 11:04:05 AM
Post by: RW on November 12, 2014, 11:04:05 AM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 12, 2014, 07:03:53 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 12, 2014, 07:03:53 PM
Ah nice!Quote from: "Real Woman"
A lot of affluent Albertans own property there.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 13, 2014, 06:49:40 AM
Post by: Anonymous on November 13, 2014, 06:49:40 AM
Ah nice!Quote from: "Real Woman"
We will go there again next summer..
I look forward to it.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Obvious Li on November 16, 2014, 04:44:03 AM
Post by: Obvious Li on November 16, 2014, 04:44:03 AM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 16, 2014, 12:01:47 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 16, 2014, 12:01:47 PM
sort of embarrassing.....one cool fall day last year the dragon and i were out golfing.....the season was basically over and we were the only ones out there....coming up #16 i had hit my second shot on the green and she was still pissing around out on the fairway so i drove the cart up to the green, grabbed our putters and was going to go over and meet her to finish putting....there is a big clump of trees by the green and seeing as i was parked behind it and there was absolutely nobody around i decided to take a piss......i was standing in the middle of the cart path with my dick out, building up a pretty good stream when i looked up and there was a woman walking her dog not 2 meters directly in front of me.. i almost pissed on her dog......one of the few times in my life i was speechless.....trying to stop in mid piss can take a little time but i managed to quickly get it back in with no dribbles.....she never said a word..just stared straight ahead and stomped on by....all i could do was call out lamely..."but lady i didn't see you there"......i don't know where she came from.....my wife never did see her and thinks i was bullshitting.....she must have heard me coming and dashed into the trees with fluffy...????..i don't know...but it was quite a shock...i was worried for days she would tell all her friends about the "pervert" on the golf course but i never heard a word about itQuote from: "Obvious Li"
It was just this past summer, I got my little man into the SUV to take him down to Whyte Ave. After pushing him through the farmer's market, I went to the Second Cup. After sitting outside for a while with a cup of tea, we left. I parked the SUV on 81 Ave and what do I see when I get there. A young guy(obviously inebriated at 3 in the afternoon) pissing on the side of the street. Unlike OL, he did not give a fuck who saw him either.
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: RW on November 16, 2014, 05:14:33 PM
Post by: RW on November 16, 2014, 05:14:33 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Annie on November 16, 2014, 09:03:00 PM
Post by: Annie on November 16, 2014, 09:03:00 PM
Title: Re: Embarrassing Stories
Post by: Anonymous on November 16, 2014, 10:02:35 PM
Post by: Anonymous on November 16, 2014, 10:02:35 PM
sort of embarrassing.....one cool fall day last year the dragon and i were out golfing.....the season was basically over and we were the only ones out there....coming up #16 i had hit my second shot on the green and she was still pissing around out on the fairway so i drove the cart up to the green, grabbed our putters and was going to go over and meet her to finish putting....there is a big clump of trees by the green and seeing as i was parked behind it and there was absolutely nobody around i decided to take a piss......i was standing in the middle of the cart path with my dick out, building up a pretty good stream when i looked up and there was a woman walking her dog not 2 meters directly in front of me.. i almost pissed on her dog......one of the few times in my life i was speechless.....trying to stop in mid piss can take a little time but i managed to quickly get it back in with no dribbles.....she never said a word..just stared straight ahead and stomped on by....all i could do was call out lamely..."but lady i didn't see you there"......i don't know where she came from.....my wife never did see her and thinks i was bullshitting.....she must have heard me coming and dashed into the trees with fluffy...????..i don't know...but it was quite a shock...i was worried for days she would tell all her friends about the "pervert" on the golf course but i never heard a word about itQuote from: "Obvious Li"
Oh my Obvious Li, I would have been very embarrassed if I was that woman.