[size=200]Child neglect charges ruled out for Maryland 'free-range' parents[/size]
http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/26/living/feat-maryland-free-range-parents-child-neglect/index.html
The Maryland "free-range" parents at the center of a national debate over parental supervision have been cleared of child neglect charges related to an incident in December in which their children, ages 6 and 10, were allowed to walk home alone from a playground a mile from their house.
However, Danielle and Alexander Meitiv of Silver Spring are still under investigation for a similar episode last month in which their children were picked up by authorities while walking home alone and detained for several hours.
The couple's attorney hailed the ruling by Child Protective Services of Montgomery County.
"I think this most recent conclusion by CPS validates our position all along that the Meitivs were never responsible for any form of child neglect and there was no basis to investigate the family or detain the children," Matthew Dowd said, adding that the family was notified via letter last week.
The agency had originally found the parents responsible for "unsubstantiated neglect" in March.
In the December incident, the two children were about halfway through their walk home when they were stopped by police, Danielle Meitiv said. When officers asked whether they were lost or in trouble, the kids told them they were fine, that their parents knew where they were and that they are allowed to walk home by themselves, she said.
The police drove the kids home. A few hours later, someone from Child Protective Services arrived at the home and said the family needed to agree not to let the children be unsupervised until the matter was resolved within the agency, or the children would be taken into the custody of Child Protective Services, said Meitiv.
"The family did appeal, and they were successful in their appeal," Maryland Department of Human Resources spokeswoman Paula Tolson said, explaining that she could not comment any further because it remains an open case.
The Meitivs are still under investigation for an April 19 incident that also garnered national attention. On that day, their children were detained -- first by police officers and then by CPS -- for hours after they were again found walking home alone from a park.
"The April case is going through the process," Tolson said. She said the agency has 60 days to conclude its investigation and issue a written decision.
While the Meitivs await those results, they are moving forward with plans to file a lawsuit against Montgomery County Police and Child Protective Services stemming from the April incident, Dowd said.
"The past actions of CPS and Montgomery County Police violated the rights of the Meitivs and their children," he said.
In a new statement, Danielle Meitiv said that while she and her family welcome the most recent decision by CPS, they are concerned that a "misguided policy" remains in place.
"We fear that our family and other Maryland families will be subject to further investigations and frightening police detentions simply because our and their children have been been taught how to walk safely in their neighborhood including to and from school and local parks," she said.
Added Dowd, "The question is ... if someone calls in the future, whether an investigation will be started all over again. And right now, the Meitivs don't have any certainty and don't have any clarity about that issue."
While I find it is beautiful to teach children to walk home without supervision, hello, we live in a very different age now where children could be abducted and sold as child sex slaves or simply slaves. Perhaps there's something to be said about not worrying about everything under the sun but really? Really? What if they were picked up by these unsavory characters? Then we have a catastrophe in our hands. We would be searching for these abducted children and then grieving over their disappearance if they are never found. To me, this is tempting fate.
I don't understand - what have these parents done wrong?
Asia, the world is no more scary than it was when I was young. I grew up in the time of Clifford Olsen FFS. We are so much more paranoid now because we hear about it more often. As a result, parents hover over their kids giving them no room to grow.
6 and 10 to me are still too young to be on their own walking for a mile, RW. I'm not a paranoid parent. My sons are 16 and 21 now and when they were 6 and 10, they were confident boys who were never clingy and I gave them a bit of freedom as well. Both boys happily went into their day care centers on their first days without looking back. What a relief for me not having to worry about clingy children and I was able to go back to work worry-free. However, I don't think I am comfortable with my 6 and 10 year old walking a mile to get home. Sorry, I don't buy into that complacency. The world IS scarier now than ever before.
They were asked not to let their kids walk home on their own until further notice but they did not comply.
I think 6 is a little young but the 10 year old probably ok and they were together. But a mile is a bit far. The world is just as scary as 20 years ago. Like RW said, we just hear about it more (because of social media) When I was growing up we came across a few unsavory characters. From the streaker in the bushes at elementary school to serial killer, Clifford Olson. But if kids were taught back then and now, know what to do, they should be ok. I was taught in school and by older siblings about stranger danger and I taught our kids, it worked. Kids need their freedom but it's hard to say to what extent, it depends on the children and their intellect and what they've been taught.
Quote from: "Azhya Aryola"
They were asked not to let their kids walk home on their own until further notice but they did not comply.
Who is the government to dictate how far their kids can walk and at what age? My kids walk more than a mile on their own and they are 10. No one bats an eye about it either.
The world isn't all that different from when I was a kid - at least not that I have noticed yet we are more paranoid. Why is that? Oh right - access to a constant barrage of bad news stories.
This is the kind of government over reach that is rampant in the US today. The world is no more dangerous today than it was 30 years ago. Our government as well as our public schools are all in the business of parenting when in most cases they are the least qualified to do so.
Different strokes for different folks. No one can convince me to feel different about this matter. I listen to my gut on these matters so I will swim against the tide.
I am happy for a civilization that has a system such as Child Protective Services because there are far too many irresponsible parents who commit crimes against their very own children. There are countries that don't care to make children a concern so I'm happy I live in one that does. I never take that for granted.
I would let these 6 and 10 year old kids on my watch walk for a mile, provided I'm walking with them or following right behind them.
No child, 6 or 10, on my watch, will be walking for one mile by themselves. I will drive them to the place they desire to go. There are plenty of other lessons they can learn from on how to do things on their own but not this, if I can help it. Showing children that you trust them and allow them opportunities to mature is positive, no doubt, but there are other ways of doing so.
I did not teach my children that our neighborhood was unsafe. They walked with me daily up and down our neighborhood after supper for many years. They walked home alone from school but they were older than 6 and 10. Thirty or twenty years ago, there was not as much human trafficking as there is today. I do not dismiss those Amber Alerts. What about those captive women who were raped and bore their captors's children? Some of these women were abducted when they were very young. We have very sick elements in our societies. Each time I see those amber alerts, I get really angry. I was never a parent who hovered over my children but I am also [size=200]NOT[/size] convinced free range parenting is the supreme way. Fear should not rule our decisions but common sense should.
I would be real upset if one day I see these same free range parents crying on national TV saying, "Please help us find our children. We have not seen them in 48 hours." I'm going to be real pissed off when that ever happens knowing that it could have been prevented.
Azhya, I agree with you on many points. I'm not convinced that this so-called "free range parenting" is the way to go either. I think it needs to be viewed on a case by case basis. Like all people this is an example of each to his or her own gifts. The situation depends entirely on where it is taking place and the maturity and situational awareness level of the children in question. I would never let a 6 year old child walk unsupervised anywhere, even in my own front yard. But if they were in the company of an older sibling the situation can change depending in the responsibility level of that older sibling. Granted 10 years old may seem a little young to be allowed to walk a mile home from a playground but I've seen 10 year old kids that are perfectly capable of doing so (my oldest daughter for example). Then again I've seen 10 year old children who I wouldn't let 20 feet out of my sight without some kind of GPS tracking device implanted in their ass (my number 3 child for example).
My main beef with this is the fact that we live in a world where the government, the schools, and societies self appointed watch dogs think that they have a right to run every single facet of our lives without regard for individual liberty and personal responsibility. If I or you want to allow our children to walk home alone or jump off the roof with a home made parachute, that is no ones business but our own. At this very moment we have schools writing politically motivated letters to parents scolding them over everything from the kind of lunch they pack for their kid, to the kind of clothes they are allowed to wear, to how much there child weighs and I say that's bullshit. We have government agency and municipalities denying taxpayers access to public buildings because of political statements on the tee-shirts and all kinds of stupid shit like that. Who the fuck are these people and where do they come off thinking that they were given the authority to do such shit? Who gets to decide what is dangerous for my child and what isn't. This publicly funded authoritative communal style raising of children is fucking BULLSHIT. We have gotten so wrapped up and intimidated by anyone who calls themselves a child expert or child safety advocate that we are little by little turning over or rights and responsibilities as parents to do our jobs. This shit has to stop, I cannot stress that enough!
Government intrusion into our lives is at an all time high in the US. You cannot even dig a freaking hole in your back yard without first checking with some government agency or department and nine times out of ten, it is only so that that agency can extort money out of you and justify their existence by hassling you. I have a feeling this is another case of a government agency trying to justify it's existence. If in this town the only thing the child protection authorities have to do is investigate and persecute a family for letting their kids walk home from a playground, then I say there is no need for that agency to exist in the first place.
I apologize for getting all foamy, Azhya. It really has nothing to do with your position on this; it's just that this kind of shit burns my ass. acc_angry
(Edit)
Asia, when I was young, there were abductions and rape, molestation and murder - no different to what there is now. You just hear about it more because in the U.S., you have 24/7 news. Human trafficking and all that other shit isn't a new thing.
I live in the toolies. I have no problem with my kids travelling unaccompanied a mile from home. I see many parents who allow the same. I refuse to live in a world where the tv makes me paranoid and I respect these parents for sticking to their guns and saying FUCK YOU to the government.
Quote from: "RW"
Exactly!!
Its still pretty safe for a kid to walk home alone in here but thats changing thanks to shitbags.
Sure, I agree with some of your points as well, Renee and RW, especially about overbearing government programs but I take into consideration the other nations today that make no accommodations for children whatsoever. Perhaps our society cares too much. Some countries "don't care." I am glad we care at all and I am grateful for that.
I am not debating whether there were more predators in the past than now. I know the world had predators for centuries and hearing about them more now through high tech means and social media does not make it less of a concern, in my opinion.
In the end, I'm just voicing my views. I don't want to tell another parent how to parent their children because I won't welcome another parent telling me how I ought to parent mine. Also, in the event some parents lose their children through neglect or through free range principles, I will feel bad for them and then remind myself that it is, after all, not my problem.
You are welcome to your opinion Asia. I'd be lying if I said your defensiveness doesn't irk me because we are all sharing our opinions - Yours is no less valid than mine or anyone else's. :). Take mine with a grain of salt too. I live in small town Canada, a country that has about the same population as the state of California. I moved out of the city so my kids could have a "free range" life.
In the case of this family, I think social services needs to get off their ass and focus on children who are seriously neglected and abused.
Well, thank you, RW. Irked? Surely you were prepared to face opposition. I know the feeling. I face opposition too. How arrogant of me to believe no one will disagree with me. For example, there are people who could not appreciate my becoming passionately involved in my son's hockey years and becoming a Hockey Mom who was also the DJ. We can be equally irked.
Of course I had to be defensive because I was defending my position against the majority expressing their position against mine. I'm not trying to convince anyone to agree with me as that will be highly impossible just as it will not be possible for me to agree with your position on this issue. We are the two sides of this matter and I'm not wavering on the issue which could lead me to change my mind. No, and I'm pleased to know I'm not alone because I speak to friends about this and we pretty much agree.
I don't believe you have to get away from the city to live a "free range" life. I think that term describes the principle more than the community of choice. The couple in Maryland in the core of this debate do not live in the outskirts of the city. Their city is a developing metropolis. I know that area all too well--lively, thriving, booming, busy, but it also has its share of low life and crime.
Hockey moms are scary ladies. I admire your passion though hehe.
I think I would agree with you more if I lived in a city. I understand wanting to keep your kids close but I think it goes a bit too far. I will be interested in seeing what happens to kids who constantly have their parents hovering over them.
It seems to be considered abuse to give kids a mile but is it abuse to never give kids an inch?
We agree on the hovering issue but we don't agree about Hockey Moms being scary. Not at all. I know many of them and some are sweet and soft- spoken.
I was never the hovering kind of parent. I was simply saying that I do not approve of the 6 and 10 year old children being left on their own to walk a mile. They are vulnerable that way.
When I smelled something fishy, I hovered over my children to find out what's fishy and nip it in the bud. However, I've also given them free rein. When they were younger, they've gone places without me and I've gone away without them. At 10 years of age, I gave my consent for my oldest son to go rappelling in the mountains of Maryland's western panhandle. He'd also go away to an outdoor school for a week in Maryland's eastern shore. I've allowed them to have "sleep overs" at the homes of their friends especially when I knew the parents well. I always want to meet the parents of the kids my children spend time with. I never forced my children on activities they didn't enjoy. My hockey player played hockey because he loves to play it. My youngest was in Kung Fu academy because he showed enthusiasm at first but when he told me he did not enjoy it anymore, I cancelled his membership right away. No point in continuing. My oldest son friended me on facebook years ago but my youngest said, "I love you, Mom, but please respect my choice not to friend you." He said it to me bluntly too. Heheh. That one is a smart alec. I'm pleased my sons exercise their freedoms.
I realize that I never have to squeeze the truth out of my children because they seem to have a tendency to confide in me. I know a great deal, sometimes more than I care to know.
I don't think anyone is accusing you of being a helicopter parent, Azhya. All I'm saying is that under certain circumstances a 10 year old walking home from a playground isn't a terrible thing. For the most part I think this whole thing is nothing but an over reaching over reaction by government authorities.
I would appear that you and I have similar parenting styles. My older three have always been involved in activities since they were 5 or earlier. I got them involved in everything they wanted to try until they settled on the one thing they loved. My oldest...cheerleading, my next oldest....soccer and softball.....the next one, tennis and concert band. Now I have a soon to be 3 year old and I will have to start the process all over again very soon.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that each one of my children are different. Each one has strengths and weaknesses. The oldest is mature and smart well beyond her years and always has been. The next oldest is head strong and rebellious. She has too much "me" in her. The next is artistic and sometimes flighty, I see a lot of my sister in her. Of the three, at 10 years old, I would probably only trust my oldest to do things on her own while at the same time taking responsibility for her younger sisters.
I have always been involved in their lives and activities and have watched over them intently, but at the same time I've tried to give them enough freedom to grow emotionally, intellectually and socially. That includes showing enough faith in them to let them stretch their wings (within reason). I feel that applying blanket rules and restrictions on children without regard for their individual maturity level or social and intellectual abilities limits the personal growth of a child and is actually a form of poor parenting. Judging from your previous post I'm sure you feel the same way. ac_drinks
Come on Asia! At least give me that SOME hockey moms are scary. Hehehe. (I grew up in a hockey town - it's just one of those ongoing jokes.)
I think it should go to each parent to decide what his/her child is ready for and the government should fixate on real abuse. You know, the kind evs likes.
Quote from: "RW"
I think it should go to each parent to decide what his/her child is ready for and the government should fixate on real abuse. You know, the kind evs likes.
Oh there you go casting aspersions on the queen bee again. ac_toofunny
BTW, I'm going to invoke a name that no doubt will cause you and a few others to cringe but the hockey mom stuff brings her to mind. Here it is:
"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?.........The lipstick."
Sarah Palin 2008 ac_toofunny
lol
Quote from: "Renee"
I agree with most of your post, Renee, my fellow American sistah! ac_dance
Hey sistah, go sistah, soul sistah, go sistah
Hey sistah, go sistah, soul sistah, go sistah
ac_hithere
Renee, I like the story you told about your children. Thank you for sharing. They sound delightful. ac_hithere
RW, you said, "Hockey Moms are scary." At that time, you did no say, "Some Hockey Moms..." Well, I can agree with that. Some is reasonable because I met some who I would not call scary but I can see why some would call them scary.
One always stared at me which made me uncomfortable until I introduced myself to her. Each new season, there were new parents, so, instead of wondering who they are, I walk up to them and introduce myself. One day, I approached this Mrs. "Starer" and said, "Hello, I'm Speed Demon's Mom, Azhya..." And that was the beginning of a lovely friendship. She was okay after all once I got to know her. Then one summer she had a stroke and died so suddenly devastating us all. ac_crying
Wow Az, that story went from 60 to zero in one paragraph :(
The town I grew up in was (is) very competitive, especially on the ice. It's an ongoing joke amount the sports groups that hockey parents are the most ... passionate of the parents. It's just a tease but some earn the stereotype :)
I´m the coolest daddy ever..
I let them smoke, drink, stay up late etc.
I am a very protective mother of my children.
So am I... I have my own private armory.
Fuck the police!
I have been taken aback by the philosophy of others. Take for instance my friend Ling. She is of Chinese ancestry but was born and raised in India.
After asking me one Friday what my plans for the weekend were, I told her that I was driving my sons to New York City, a three-hour drive. She gasped and uttered these words to me, "Oh my God, Azhya! You are taking them in your car on a very long drive on the expressway?" I said, "Yes and I have done it before and will do it again. I enjoy getting in the car with my sons and going on the open road to more discoveries and adventures." She gasped again and said, "Oh my God! Azhya, that is not safe! You could be putting them in danger! So scary!" Then she went on to boast what a careful mother she is and how she would never put her children in harm's way. I laughed. Okay, how hovering is she in your opinion?
Quote from: "Azhya Aryola"
After asking me one Friday what my plans for the weekend were, I told her that I was driving my sons to New York City, a three-hour drive. She gasped and uttered these words to me, "Oh my God, Azhya! You are taking them in your car on a very long drive on the expressway?" I said, "Yes and I have done it before and will do it again. I enjoy getting in the car with my sons and going on the open road to more discoveries and adventures." She gasped again and said, "Oh my God! Azhya, that is not safe! You could be putting them in danger! So scary!" Then she went on to boast what a careful mother she is and how she would never put her children in harm's way. I laughed. Okay, how hovering is she in your opinion?
How hovering???? Overly so , extremely so, insanely so.
Unfortunately parents like that do not realize that by projecting their fear onto their kids, they are raising one of two types of individuals. Children raised in that kind of overly controlling, fear generating environment either become extremely rebellious as they grow into adolescence. Or more often than not they become socially retarded and fearful of the world beyond the apron strings. Either way these children are victims of bad parenting and are almost guaranteed to carry some level of needless emotional bagage into their adult lives.
BTW, I hope you and your kids enjoy NYC. There is more to do and see in that place than you can fit in in a lifetime. It is one of my favorite places and has been since I was a child.
You got that right, Renee. This was from some years ago when the boys were younger. New York City is not too far to me and I enjoy going there. I've taken Amtrak to NYC as well. I've treated a few visiting aunts before to NYC and a show. One of my visiting aunts is a theatre actress in our hometown so I knew she would love a show in Broadway. I've been to a few shows in NYC. It truly is a city that never sleeps. ac_drinks
Quote from: "Azhya Aryola"
It's an exciting, but expensive place to visit.