... my friend was surprised by the reaction his daughter-in-law had to a comment he made ...
... my friend was talking to her about her son -- his grandson -- and he mentioned to her that he thought his grandson was LAZY. my friend was then shocked that his daughter-in-law took offense to the comment and became cold towards him ...
... but should he have been shocked by her reaction? if someone is lazy shouldn't you be ALLOWED to say that they're lazy?
... what do you think? what's the etiquette when it comes to talking about laziness? is it forbidden?
... please discuss!
It can be taken as rude by some people, after all, he just told her she is raising a lazy child.
It's rude.
If its applied to a man of say, senior, years, who has lived a full and active life and his body now prevents him from being as robust and capable as before, then calling him "lazy" is an affront.
It its Renee, then no.
Quote from: "SPECTRE"
That's lazy sentence structure.
See me after class. :laugh3:
Quote from: "the shark hunter"
... my friend was talking to her about her son -- his grandson -- and he mentioned to her that he thought his grandson was LAZY. my friend was then shocked that his daughter-in-law took offense to the comment and became cold towards him ...
... but should he have been shocked by her reaction? if someone is lazy shouldn't you be ALLOWED to say that they're lazy?
... what do you think? what's the etiquette when it comes to talking about laziness? is it forbidden?
... please discuss!
It's not rude if it is true. My son is very lazy and I have told him so.
People in general should STFU about how others raise their children - lazy or not.
Quote from: "RW"
If it's someone in my immediate circle, I don't mind them saying my son is the slacker he is. If I don't know you really well then STFU.
Quote from: "Herman"
Quote from: "RW"
If it's someone in my immediate circle, I don't mind them saying my son is the slacker he is. If I don't you really well then STFU.
Your child directly, MAYBE but someone else is involved in the upbringing of your grandchild so I would say STFU.
Quote from: "RW"
Quote from: "Herman"
Quote from: "RW"
If it's someone in my immediate circle, I don't mind them saying my son is the slacker he is. If I don't you really well then STFU.
Your child directly, MAYBE but someone else is involved in the upbringing of your grandchild so I would say STFU.
He doesn't have kids. Thank God too, because my ex and I would be paying for the kid.
It's rude. No one knows the full story of a person if they aren't around 24/7. Could be kid is going through a phaze every kid goes through or could be a medical condition making them "appear" lazy when they just may not have the energy.
Quote from: "GrAnnie"
You are not talking about my boy are you?
I'm relating from my daughter's situation. All her life she's been judged for not doing this or that. She has a medical condition that limits her energy among many other things. Things aren't always as they seem. There's usually an underlying condition/situation. As for my son, when he was a teen, he WAS just lazy lol
Quote from: "GrAnnie"
My son is like your son was as a teen. At least your son grew up. My son is 24 and still acts like a lazy teen.
My son HAD to grow up. By the time he was 17 I had enough of it and stopped buying all the favorite food he liked (like bacon). I stopped doing his laundry, vacuumed early in the morning, made his life a bit of a living hell. I told him if he went out and got a job, pay room and board, he could stay and that I would again buy bacon and do his laundry. It worked like a charm. He's now he's 23, with a wonderful girl, works 2 jobs and expecting a child in January. ac_smile
Quote from: "the shark hunter"
... my friend was talking to her about her son -- his grandson -- and he mentioned to her that he thought his grandson was LAZY. my friend was then shocked that his daughter-in-law took offense to the comment and became cold towards him ...
... but should he have been shocked by her reaction? if someone is lazy shouldn't you be ALLOWED to say that they're lazy?
... what do you think? what's the etiquette when it comes to talking about laziness? is it forbidden?
... please discuss!
Maybe your friend was just speaking the truth, Sharkie. While there are some hardworking youths, overall this does seem like a very lazy generation of kids. Not just the son you make reference to, but many. And too many distractions, technology which makes them even lazier these days. Can't think of anything lazier than than whole groups of kids hangin out places like video arcades or Internet cafes wasting their time playing video games. That reminds me of hamsters in a cage, pushing down on a lever to get the next pellet coming out of a feeder.
Quote from: "Frank"
Quote from: "the shark hunter"
... my friend was talking to her about her son -- his grandson -- and he mentioned to her that he thought his grandson was LAZY. my friend was then shocked that his daughter-in-law took offense to the comment and became cold towards him ...
... but should he have been shocked by her reaction? if someone is lazy shouldn't you be ALLOWED to say that they're lazy?
... what do you think? what's the etiquette when it comes to talking about laziness? is it forbidden?
... please discuss!
Maybe your friend was just speaking the truth, Sharkie. While there are some hardworking youths, overall this does seem like a very lazy generation of kids. Not just the son you make reference to, but many. And too many distractions, technology which makes them even lazier these days. Can't think of anything lazier than than whole groups of kids hangin out places like video arcades or Internet cafes wasting their time playing video games. That reminds me of hamsters in a cage, pushing down on a lever to get the next pellet coming out of a feeder.
That's the distinction which needs to be made when pointing out laziness in an individual who isn't immediate family. "It's generational". I find this works to open up discussion, especially if you also have children around the same age. Parents take it personal because they often validate themselves through their children or families, right or wrong.
Quote from: "RW"
:laugh: OK Miss Blunt.
If hes lazy call it like it is. Right RIGHT!!!
Quote from: "Frank"
Quote from: "the shark hunter"
... my friend was talking to her about her son -- his grandson -- and he mentioned to her that he thought his grandson was LAZY. my friend was then shocked that his daughter-in-law took offense to the comment and became cold towards him ...
... but should he have been shocked by her reaction? if someone is lazy shouldn't you be ALLOWED to say that they're lazy?
... what do you think? what's the etiquette when it comes to talking about laziness? is it forbidden?
... please discuss!
Maybe your friend was just speaking the truth, Sharkie. While there are some hardworking youths, overall this does seem like a very lazy generation of kids. Not just the son you make reference to, but many. And too many distractions, technology which makes them even lazier these days. Can't think of anything lazier than than whole groups of kids hangin out places like video arcades or Internet cafes wasting their time playing video games. That reminds me of hamsters in a cage, pushing down on a lever to get the next pellet coming out of a feeder.
You have a good point Frank..
Overall I feel children play less, and are more sedentary..
I gave children chores they must do around the house like my brother and I had to do..
But, some of my girlfriends are not doing that with their own children.
Quote from: "RW"
I'm with you on this one RW. People need to mind their own fucking business when it comes to other people's kids. End of story.
It's rude to go up to a parent and say blah blah blah you're doing this wrong or your kid is this or that. I think parents already know their kid is lazy or not and they'll figure out what to do about it without nosy busy bodies.
I don't think calling a lazy person lazy is rude. I think enabling is rude. Lol. Of course there are limits on this....you don't just walk up to someone and throw down accusations when you don't have the big picture.
Quote from: "Dove"
Even if you do know, it's best to mind your own fucking business.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Dove"
Even if you do know, it's best to mind your own fucking business.
Well if my opinion is requested or its directly impacting my life, I'll make it my business.
Quote from: "GrAnnie"
While I agree that it is not our place to tell other parents what we think of their children especially if it is not flattering, some parents are blind to the follies of their own brood. There are parents who are raising "exceptional" kids, according to their own thinking even though they are the only ones who may think so.
:001_rolleyes:
I know what you mean. Years ago I caught some kids trying to start a forest fire not far from where I live. I knew all the kids involved and went to their houses and talked with their parents. There was one parent, she is a single Mom with 3 kids, acted like her kids would never do such a thing. I told her several other people saw her pour lighter fluid on the fire. She still insisted I was lying. I then told her "well, ok then, next time I'll just call the fire department and the police and you can call them liars!" They put the fire out when they were seen so there was no need to make any calls but the Mom was pissed! lol
And I know my kids have done stupid shit, they all do. I've had parents come to my door to tell me my kid did this or that. And I believed them because I know my kids WOULD do it lol. I'm so happy they're adults now.
Quote from: "GrAnnie"
And I know my kids have done stupid shit, they all do. I've had parents come to my door to tell me my kid did this or that. And I believed them because I know my kids WOULD do it lol. I'm so happy they're adults now.
Arson is very serious..
The consequences could have been very bad had the fir got out of hand..
You did the right thing notifying the parents even if they didn't believe you.
Since then a few of the little fire bugs have moved away and the single Mom's kid hasn't done anything else, except for hiding behind a neighbor's house and smoking lol
Sure, it can be interpreted as rude, but just as calling someone stupid, primitive, or ugly, might generate similar reactions, it might be more worrisome if it were received with apathy.
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
I don't need to consult a psychologist to know where my son's problems started. My ex and I spoiled him rotten. He's 24 and acts 15.
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
I would agree about parents if their child was bullying your child..
I have never lived communally, so I cannot say about that..
But, distant relatives?
:ohmy:
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
I would agree about parents if their child was bullying your child..
I have never lived communally, so I cannot say about that..
But, distant relatives?
:ohmy:
There are places where some of the natives are inbred, but in most other cases, it's not unusual for immigrants who might have some common lineage to cohabitate a building suited for many families.
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
I would agree about parents if their child was bullying your child..
I have never lived communally, so I cannot say about that..
But, distant relatives?
:ohmy:
There are places where some of the natives are inbred, but in most other cases, it's not unusual for immigrants who might have some common lineage to cohabitate a building suited for many families.
My grandparents lived with my uncle's family in Taiwan.
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
I would agree about parents if their child was bullying your child..
I have never lived communally, so I cannot say about that..
But, distant relatives?
:ohmy:
There are places where some of the natives are inbred, but in most other cases, it's not unusual for immigrants who might have some common lineage to cohabitate a building suited for many families.
My grandparents lived with my uncle's family in Taiwan.
Did they take care of your grandparents?
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "shin"
The greater context would come into play here, but even if the intent isn't malicious, any such forward accusation in our Western culture could be considered rude.
Psychologists would probably argue that any unfavorable character trait is a symptom of a mood disorder, but I'm sure not everybody is willing to use this as a litmus test for proper development.
It's a best to just mind your own business when it comes to other people's kids.
Probably true, unless they're communal neighbors, bullying your own kids, or are distant relatives.
I would agree about parents if their child was bullying your child..
I have never lived communally, so I cannot say about that..
But, distant relatives?
:ohmy:
There are places where some of the natives are inbred, but in most other cases, it's not unusual for immigrants who might have some common lineage to cohabitate a building suited for many families.
My grandparents lived with my uncle's family in Taiwan.
That seems common. A way of pooling resources and helping each other out in their own way.
I figured as much, but I didn't want to assume. People do that here, too.
Quote from: "shin"
I won't have to even think about that with my son. No doubt, he will still be dependent on my ex-wife or myself when he is my age.
There was a social stigma associated with living with parents into adulthood, but it seems to be less relevant with the onset of the millennial generation. It didn't seem to be as prevalent outside of upper middle class American Caucasian families, especially in the northeast U.S.
Quote from: "shin"
It's new to me shin. Since I am old school, the stigma should still be there in my opinion.
I have no problem telling white people how lazy they are.
Which is funny since Asians tend to pretend to be hard workers instead of actually working hard. Not just Asians though, anyone derived from third world cultures are the same.
All about appearances, little about actual merit.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
That's fine but one mustn't chastise nonwhites as this may hurt their feelings.
Quote from: "Lance Leftardashian"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
That's fine but one mustn't chastise nonwhites as this may hurt their feelings.
It's not only
Something both you and Shen Li seem unaware of.