THeBlueCashew

The Flame Pit => The Guest Nest => Topic started by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 12:12:17 AM

Title: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 12:12:17 AM
...also known as a handheld breathalyzer.  This thing should come in handy at times.



I decided to go with the exact same version that the RCMP now use, which is the the Alco-Sensor FST.  The difference between mine and the RCMP version is that mine will display actual BAC, instead of the three stage "PASS/WARN/FAIL" that the RCMP units are programmed to display.



These things aren't cheap, but I didn't really want an inaccurate 'novelty' item either...



The price of these things?  



$550 US dollars for the device, and about $300 US dollars for the "calibration" accessories, which is essentially a 108 liter SCUBA tank filled with gases of a known alcohol content, which is fed into the device at regular intervals to ensure the readings are correct.



This thing should be a hit!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 20, 2016, 12:32:51 AM
So ya need a machine to tell if ya pissed or not. I wooda spent the money on a mattress protector if I was you.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 12:34:53 AM
I already have a mattress protector!



Required to use when I purchased the King Sized mattress, to get the full warranty coverage.



Also comes in handy for when I piss the bed.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 20, 2016, 12:45:16 AM
Guy in Pattaya shit the bed.



When the ho told me that I said from Aussie right...yes



From Perth...yes



Standing there with his hands on his hips sayen '' this has never happened before''



Class act...555
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 12:47:15 AM
You shit their God damned bed!



Did you at least leave enough tip for the cleaners to deal with the putrid mess?
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 20, 2016, 12:49:16 AM
hahahaha nah wasn't me



Now when I piss I get most of it in the bowl. Before when I drank I'm standing there having a piss and I fell out of the room.555.



Never pissed the bed but spewed a few times.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 01:14:35 AM
Since I live alone, and am the only one cleaning my shitter, I will admit that I sit down to piss...  Yes, it is true.



I only sit down to piss at home though...  Other peoples shitters aren't my problem.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 20, 2016, 01:15:57 AM
and am the only one cleaning my shitter



yo need a wif
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 01:22:36 AM
Ya, on the lookout for a new one.  However, my standards are high, since I in return provide a very 'comfortable' level of living for my female companion.



With me, the women have it Made in the Shade.  Therefor, my standards must be kept high, to keep out the gutter rats.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: cc on September 20, 2016, 01:22:53 AM
Quoteyo need a wif

oh gaud .. don't start him
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 01:32:08 AM
Quote from: "Daisy May"oh gaud .. don't start him


Nice to see you posting here, instead of focusing on Muslims.



Sure you don't want to grab some Fish & Chips at Moby Dick's?
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 20, 2016, 01:53:23 AM
is that kosher ??



beware she is Australian ...worst women on the planet and a radical joo.



Don't mention the war.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 01:59:24 AM
The last time I took a trip through White Rock, she threatened to have people kill me.



I'm well aware of CC la Jew's paranoia and temperament!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 20, 2016, 02:04:58 AM
I was like, "look bitch, I've lived in Langley my entire life, and just because you happen to live 15 minutes away from me doesn't exclude me from traveling the strip."



Got her panties all in a bunch, that I'm her neighbour.



Even threatened to have people kill me!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Gallium on September 20, 2016, 05:13:29 AM
Never really pissed the bed until I twisted my nuts in a snowboarding accident. My nuts become one swollen package the size of a bowling ball. Somehow the ensuing infection caused weak bladder control for a month until the antibiotics sorted out the issue. The whole experience was fucked to say the least!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 21, 2016, 02:09:00 AM
I only piss the bed when I drink near lethal amounts of alcohol.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 21, 2016, 02:50:32 AM
Whats the most ya can drink Ace



I could do 30 cans of beer 5%
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 21, 2016, 03:03:04 AM
I can probably handle 18 cans before passing out.  Remember that I weigh in under 200 pounds.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Gallium on September 21, 2016, 08:20:03 AM
Quote from: "GORDY GAMBINO"Whats the most ya can drink Ace



I could do 30 cans of beer 5%


The last time I did 30 odd cans of beer was mid strength 3.5% alc/vol crabbing off a boat all day at the Dawesville Cut in Mandurah. I thought that the mid strength would save me from a hangover. Fucking had a headache from hell the next day...the Blue swimmers were choice but!  ac_biggrin



(//%3C/s%3E%3CURL%20url=%22http://nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/v1/crop/frm/storypad-QF3fsEwn8BMJBrhuJPqaa6/25eca5fb-b4fd-4416-a1d9-43d79b4fe832.JPG/r0_219_4288_2630_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg%22%3E%3CLINK_TEXT%20text=%22http://nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/%20...%208_fmax.jpg%22%3Ehttp://nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/v1/crop/frm/storypad-QF3fsEwn8BMJBrhuJPqaa6/25eca5fb-b4fd-4416-a1d9-43d79b4fe832.JPG/r0_219_4288_2630_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg%3C/LINK_TEXT%3E%3C/URL%3E%3Ce%3E)



(//%3C/s%3E%3CURL%20url=%22https://cdn.bluethumb.com.au/uploads/attachment/attachment_file/352836/main_blue-swimmer-crab-kelly-anne-love-square-bluethumb-art.jpeg%22%3E%3CLINK_TEXT%20text=%22https://cdn.bluethumb.com.au/uploads/at%20...%20b-art.jpeg%22%3Ehttps://cdn.bluethumb.com.au/uploads/attachment/attachment_file/352836/main_blue-swimmer-crab-kelly-anne-love-square-bluethumb-art.jpeg%3C/LINK_TEXT%3E%3C/URL%3E%3Ce%3E)
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 21, 2016, 08:22:29 AM
Yeah good crabs them.



Easy to drink piss at sea.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Anonymous on September 21, 2016, 09:15:31 AM
Quote from: "Angry White Male"...also known as a handheld breathalyzer.  This thing should come in handy at times.



I decided to go with the exact same version that the RCMP now use, which is the the Alco-Sensor FST.  The difference between mine and the RCMP version is that mine will display actual BAC, instead of the three stage "PASS/WARN/FAIL" that the RCMP units are programmed to display.



These things aren't cheap, but I didn't really want an inaccurate 'novelty' item either...



The price of these things?  



$550 US dollars for the device, and about $300 US dollars for the "calibration" accessories, which is essentially a 108 liter SCUBA tank filled with gases of a known alcohol content, which is fed into the device at regular intervals to ensure the readings are correct.



This thing should be a hit!

Why would anyone need that device..



Impaired driving is illegal and dangerous.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 21, 2016, 09:40:31 AM
Cos he has a 50 tonne truck. And Ace is usually 90 % full of piss, the other 10% is on the bed.



Ace is a piss tank.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Berry Sweet on September 21, 2016, 02:07:40 PM
Cause he's fuckin stupid Fashy.



Mel, you should really quit drinking.  You'll reap the benefits...

....you'll lose your fuckin gut...

....your skin tone will look much better and you wont age as fast or look like shit in the morning.....

....your mentality will improve 100%...

....you won't be so fuckin depressed all the time....

....you won't have to spend money on ridiculous shit, like this stupid device you just bought...plus you'll save thousands from not drinking...

....you can be healthy and fit...head to the gym or a jog instead of getting wasted, passed out and piss the couch...

....the list goes on and on....



Alcohol will rot your insides, make you look like shit on the out and kill you.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 21, 2016, 05:20:31 PM
I don't drink and look like hansum man ting tongs they tell me
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 22, 2016, 12:37:00 AM
Quote from: "Fashionista"Why would anyone need that device..



Impaired driving is illegal and dangerous.


It's a novelty item for us party people that are in a position to afford such items.



I am in a position to purchase items that perhaps you are not.



Do not question why people buy the things they do, should you have no interest nor ability to purchase such item yourself.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 22, 2016, 12:40:36 AM
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"Cause he's fuckin stupid Fashy.



Mel, you should really quit drinking.  You'll reap the benefits...

....you'll lose your fuckin gut...

....your skin tone will look much better and you wont age as fast or look like shit in the morning.....

....your mentality will improve 100%...

....you won't be so fuckin depressed all the time....

....you won't have to spend money on ridiculous shit, like this stupid device you just bought...plus you'll save thousands from not drinking...

....you can be healthy and fit...head to the gym or a jog instead of getting wasted, passed out and piss the couch...

....the list goes on and on....



Alcohol will rot your insides, make you look like shit on the out and kill you.


Look Babes...



My main problem with dating is that I have to go 20 years younger (high school age) to even FIND a woman that's compatible with my looks and physique.



And I'm not fucking joking.  My physique is the same as it was when I was in high school.  My hair is, everything is.



I still wear my Starter jacket for fun.



Just because you fucking hags have blown out 10 kids, and rode every dick from here to Mars, doesn't excuse you from how you age, and how quickly you went downhill after 25.



You want to know the truth?  I have given up on dating completely.  You hags are not even 40, but look 50 or 60.  I'm not even 40, and I look 20.



You hags are generally all fucking land whales.  If I was fat, I would not complain.  I'm not.  I'm a toned 170lbs.  And that no lie!  Most of you hags easily outweigh me, and I'm 5' 11".
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 22, 2016, 12:57:48 AM
That's impressive Ace. You might want to start moving her stuff into your loom.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 22, 2016, 01:26:12 AM
Besides, the cost of this unit can be taxed as a business expense.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 22, 2016, 01:32:10 AM
Quote from: "GORDY GAMBINO"That's impressive Ace. You might want to start moving her stuff into your loom.


Berry is deaf.  Certifiably deaf.  That's why she gets disability.



She popped out a kid with a chugger.



She lives in a subsidized dump.



Ace doesn't take on these cases.  Ace is a businessman that is happy single.



My ex taught me enough, and she was good looking with no baggage.



Fuck Western women.  Useless fucking cunts.



The first thing they'll see after the first date, is a pre-nup.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Berry Sweet on September 22, 2016, 02:12:48 AM
Certifiably deaf?  Like I said Ace, you may want to quit drinking...now you just sound like an extra cheesy Wooderson.  No wonder you're single.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2016, 12:13:24 AM
Quote from: "Angry White Male"
Quote from: "GORDY GAMBINO"That's impressive Ace. You might want to start moving her stuff into your loom.


Berry is deaf.  Certifiably deaf.  That's why she gets disability.



She popped out a kid with a chugger.



She lives in a subsidized dump.



Ace doesn't take on these cases.  Ace is a businessman that is happy single.



My ex taught me enough, and she was good looking with no baggage.



Fuck Western women.  Useless fucking cunts.



The first thing they'll see after the first date, is a pre-nup.

You are an alcoholic trucker that needs his own breathalyzer? You should quit drinking or find a new business. Operating loaded trucks while loaded is really fucking stupid.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 23, 2016, 03:13:32 AM
You get a bit of a feel for it when the only time you drive is when you are drunk



When I was an Insurance Assessor I heard the same story over and over...yes only doing 60kph, yes not drunk, blah blah and they were just in an accident.



Better you drive pissed as, at twice the speed cos those people never have accidents.



Max I blew was 0.324% ,allowable limit was 0.08% now 0.05%.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 24, 2016, 01:22:41 AM
The posters here aren't very bright, it seems.  I bought a hand held as a novelty item, not so I can drink while I'm driving my work truck and keep myself under the limit!



I don't ever drink on the job.  I prefer to take care of business first, and then get loaded!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 24, 2016, 01:48:30 AM
If I ever buy a novelty item its gonna be a fucken big tea pot....555
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 24, 2016, 02:33:35 AM
I think Mimi has one!
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on September 24, 2016, 02:42:36 AM
I wanna strangle her
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 24, 2016, 02:44:36 AM
She's lucky she found a schmuck with money that took her in...
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Anonymous on September 24, 2016, 07:32:06 AM
Quote from: "Angry White Male"The posters here aren't very bright, it seems.  I bought a hand held as a novelty item, not so I can drink while I'm driving my work truck and keep myself under the limit!



I don't ever drink on the job.  I prefer to take care of business first, and then get loaded!

You brought up the subject retard.
Title: Re: Today I ordered an "approved screening device."
Post by: Angry White Male on September 25, 2016, 01:42:28 AM
Quote from: "Herman"You brought up the subject retard.

Excuse me?



I simply posted that I purchased the same hand-held BAC tester that the RCMP use, and that it was purchased for novelty purposes.



Retard?



Get your fucking shit in order, Herman, before I really give you a lot of work to do.  We talked about this earlier, about Mods utilizing discretion...



The next time you call me a "retard" for purchasing a device, you best have Fash lock down the forum and hire additional Mods.



I've respected you up until this point, but I hope I'm very fucking clear with this one post, since it won't be repeated again.