If you are married, how would you say it has changed your life?
What are some of the pluses and minuses you think are associated with being married versus staying single for the duration?
What do you think about people who say they don't ever want to get married?
Quote from: "shin"
What are some of the pluses and minuses you think are associated with being married versus staying single for the duration?
What do you think about people who say they don't ever want to get married?
I can't think of any significant drawbacks shin..
I got married when I was twenty two after a relatively short courtship..
Being single and not having my own family has no appeal for me.
Getting married is not beneficial for a man anymore..
Ive never been married and I've never had any desire to get married. This has lost me many relationships as guys seem really needy and want to get married.
Marriage today has a 50% chance of survival rate. Wedding are ridiculously expencive for a one day event. And divorce is not affordable either.
People today seem to judge their success in life thru marriage, children, homes and other materilastic items. But underneath it all is debt and stress.
Maybe about half "survive". A lot fewer than that are positive. Many stay together over time because it's there and tolerable in the overall
But, there are some that work extremely well even after time
We didn't believe in big deal weddings, in fact I'd be very suspect of anyone who did. We had family and a few friends over to our place, made it legal, some special food items and partied at home - total cost peanuts. Enjoyed by all.
Quote from: "shin"
What are some of the pluses and minuses you think are associated with being married versus staying single for the duration?
Well shin, there is no "one answer fits all" for several reasons:
First it's not for everyone. Both have to want it for starters
For those who:
- feel that a life with "the right" person can be a better life
- want a "constructive" partner in life
- find true mutual caring with the person they marry and know enough about themselves and the other person to assess a good chance it will remain that way (or grow even further over time)
- the right mutual dispositions that enhance the other's life
- similar life expectations and objectives
- similar interests so far as marriage and family etc.
it is can be a winner. Good mixes can increase in caring and genuine love as time goes on
The above do not all that often come together, so be certain that "both parties" (not just yourself) are choosing well
To put it all in perspective, it was not a first for either of us - so we both chose poorly / naively previously and paid the price of a very bad (unworkable) mix
Fuck, some good posts were lost. :mad:
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Yes, it's unfortunate Shen..
I have been married for seventeen years and I thank the Lord for bringing us together..
I couldn't imagine going through this journey without him.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I wish I had seen them.
I think there must be a lot of good reasons for two friends to get married in the Western world
In the past, I've focused at the downside and often thought it didn't have a purpose to someone who wasn't planning on having kids.
I think marriage can work out well if both parties accept it as a partnership, first and foremost.
Quote from: "shin"
In the past, I've focused at the downside and often thought it didn't have a purpose to someone who wasn't planning on having kids.
I think marriage can work out well if both parties accept it as a partnership, first and foremost.
Outside the Western world, marriage is practically a requirement for success.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I typed my heart out in this thread :laugh:
First time I hit max characters lol.
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I wish I had seen them.
Then maybe you should come around more often! ac_razz
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "shin"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I wish I had seen them.
Then maybe you should come around more often! ac_razz
I agree and it's nice to see you Blazor again.
ac_hithere
Quote from: "Fashionista"
I agree and it's nice to see you Blazor again.
ac_hithere
You too Fash! And all the Cashews! ac_drinks
Hopefully this place will be more cheery now ac_smile
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
I agree and it's nice to see you Blazor again.
ac_hithere
You too Fash! And all the Cashews! ac_drinks
Hopefully this place will be more cheery now ac_smile
Now that the forum cancer has fucked off, it's already noticeably cheerier.
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I typed my heart out in this thread :laugh:
First time I hit max characters lol.
I rather enjoyed your posts on this topic.
They were an interesting read.
One comment I'll make is that while marrying too young and the marriage collapses may be excusable, it's when people who've been around the block 2,3, 4 times or more that it is not. And they keep making the same mistakes over and over again. They either never learn from their own mistakes or their friends. I understand when a person is young, they don't have the life experience and nothing to measure any previous experience by. But at 35, 45, 55, or 65? They should no better by then.
I somewhat can understand someone who marries too young. They're in the prime of their life and likely their bride is 1st time around too. Plus if yer girl looks like Miss Teen America, and she said Yes, what guy wouldn't wanna go there?
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Now that the forum cancer has fucked off, it's already noticeably cheerier.
ac_drinks
Quote from: "JOE"
I rather enjoyed your posts on this topic.
They were an interesting read.
Thanks, I barely remember what all I typed out lol.
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Now that the forum cancer has fucked off, it's already noticeably cheerier.
ac_drinks
I used to like RW. I've been posting with her for over seven years on three forums. She's always been a hardcore white lefty, but she used to be able to not take disagreements so bloody personally.
Now, she contributes nothing, but lame repetitive boring personal attacks.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I used to like RW. I've been posting with her for over seven years on three forums. She's always been a hardcore white lefty, but she used to be able to not take disagreements so bloody personally.
Now, she contributes nothing, but lame repetitive boring personal attacks.
Oh I know, I seen the evolution. I got along fine with her except in political discussion, even then I tried to bite my tongue. The last stunt she pulled was uncalled for though.
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I used to like RW. I've been posting with her for over seven years on three forums. She's always been a hardcore white lefty, but she used to be able to not take disagreements so bloody personally.
Now, she contributes nothing, but lame repetitive boring personal attacks.
Oh I know, I seen the evolution. I got along fine with her except in political discussion, even then I tried to bite my tongue. The last stunt she pulled was uncalled for though.
It was totally uncalled for. Fash told me she was reluctant to let RW host this place again even if only for a few days, but Fash rarely says no.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
It was totally uncalled for. Fash told me she was reluctant to let RW host this place again even if only for a few days, but Fash rarely says no.
I think it was mostly just a wanting to get the place up again kind of thing. I dont blame Fash. We learn from mistakes though. Just glad to see things flowing again :thumbup:
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
It was totally uncalled for. Fash told me she was reluctant to let RW host this place again even if only for a few days, but Fash rarely says no.
I think it was mostly just a wanting to get the place up again kind of thing. I dont blame Fash. We learn from mistakes though. Just glad to see things flowing again :thumbup:
Ya, me too. Although there are still some tech issues. We can't view youtube vids.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Ya, me too. Although there are still some tech issues. We can't view youtube vids.
Slowly but surely :thumbup:
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Blazor"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
I used to like RW. I've been posting with her for over seven years on three forums. She's always been a hardcore white lefty, but she used to be able to not take disagreements so bloody personally.
Now, she contributes nothing, but lame repetitive boring personal attacks.
Oh I know, I seen the evolution. I got along fine with her except in political discussion, even then I tried to bite my tongue. The last stunt she pulled was uncalled for though.
It was totally uncalled for. Fash told me she was reluctant to let RW host this place again even if only for a few days, but Fash rarely says no.
Fashionista reminds me of the stern upright mother who picks up the mess.
RW reminds me of her irresponsible wayward daughter who leaves that mess behind for her mother to fix.
RW wishes to be thought of as a Real Woman, but breaks down and needs to be picked up by the shoulders like a little girl. Tiny Fashionista picks up her oversized daughter and keeps the joint running
It's sad to see RW like this now. She used to be an asset to any discussion forum.
Quote from: "JOE"
Fashionista reminds me of the stern upright mother who picks up the mess.
RW reminds me of her wayward daughter who leaves that mess behind for her mother to fix.
RW wishes to be thought of as a Real Woman, but breaks down and needs to be picked up by the shoulders like a little girl. Tiny Fashionista picks up her oversized daughter and keeps the joint running
Good analogy ac_toofunny
Quote from: "Shen Li"
RW is needed here. We need someone to counter my fiscally conservative posts.
Quote
I could troll them .. to keep it interesting for you
ac_smile
Quote from: "cc"
Quote
I could troll them .. to keep it interesting for you
ac_smile
:laugh:
When you have a wife or a girlfriend, you cant go anywhere without taking her with you..
And you have to report to her...
Like when you dont come home etc..
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
In the past, I've focused at the downside and often thought it didn't have a purpose to someone who wasn't planning on having kids.
I think marriage can work out well if both parties accept it as a partnership, first and foremost.
Outside the Western world, marriage is practically a requirement for success.
Many in the western world see this too. I dont see it as success at all. Anyone can get married for any reason...most arranged marriages are fuckin shit and not very ma y people who are married are really, truely actually happy...that is NOT success.
Its amazing how people would rather imagine, pretend and bury their head in the sand than actually face reality.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "shin"
In the past, I've focused at the downside and often thought it didn't have a purpose to someone who wasn't planning on having kids.
I think marriage can work out well if both parties accept it as a partnership, first and foremost.
Outside the Western world, marriage is practically a requirement for success.
Its amazing how people would rather imagine, pretend and bury their head in the sand than actually face reality.
It's different in many parts of the world..
Marriage and children are musts for career success..
Discrimination against single people is accepted.
I know that Fashy. All im saying is that these people are pussies who dont want to face the truth.
Those countries that ha e arranged marriages...its not anything to celebrate...the woman doesnt even like the guy shes getting married to...thats NOT success..but putting a blanket over it and pretending it is, is pathetic.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
Those countries that ha e arranged marriages...its not anything to celebrate...the woman doesnt even like the guy shes getting married to...thats NOT success..but putting a blanket over it and pretending it is, is pathetic.
We don't have arranged marriages in China like India does. However, single adults are viewed with suspicion. Suspicion is not good career wise.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
Those countries that ha e arranged marriages...its not anything to celebrate...the woman doesnt even like the guy shes getting married to...thats NOT success..but putting a blanket over it and pretending it is, is pathetic.
We don't have arranged marriages in China like India does. However, single adults are viewed with suspicion. Suspicion is not good career wise.
My thinking is much different from the average person. Cant explain. But if people have "suspicion" of single people, I'd say they have a mental illness or too much time on their hands.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
Those countries that ha e arranged marriages...its not anything to celebrate...the woman doesnt even like the guy shes getting married to...thats NOT success..but putting a blanket over it and pretending it is, is pathetic.
We don't have arranged marriages in China like India does. However, single adults are viewed with suspicion. Suspicion is not good career wise.
My thinking is much different from the average person. Cant explain. But if people have "suspicion" of single people, I'd say they have a mental illness or too much time on their hands.
China is a conformist culture that has been around for 5000 years. They are not going to embrace all of Western liberalism overnight if ever. Nor should they.
Although Taiwan is more Westernized than the mainland, marriage and family is expected.
I understand established culture does not change fast so am not critical of them - but, so sad that many have to do something they may not want to do (at least at that time) in order to be accepted and succeed
It means many not only do not want it ... but worse are stuck for life with someone for all the wrong reasons. I find that very sad at a "person" level
Quote from: "cc"
It means many not only do not want it ... but worse are stuck for life with someone for all the wrong reasons. I find that very sad at a "person" level
Unfortunately, sometimes marriage in Taiwan is not about love.
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "cc"
It means many not only do not want it ... but worse are stuck for life with someone for all the wrong reasons. I find that very sad at a "person" level
Unfortunately, sometimes marriage in Taiwan is not about love.
Fortunately for yourself, you were here and found the man of your dreams
ac_biggrin
Quote from: "cc"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "cc"
It means many not only do not want it ... but worse are stuck for life with someone for all the wrong reasons. I find that very sad at a "person" level
Unfortunately, sometimes marriage in Taiwan is not about love.
Fortunately for yourself, you were here and found the man of your dreams
ac_biggrin
I feel very blessed cc.
ac_smile
I'm happy for you.
For me it took more than one try to get it right. Now, it is extremely right and has been for a long time now
I'm a lucky girl also!!!
Quote from: "cc"
For me it took more than one try to get it right. Now, it is extremely right and has been for a long time now
I'm a lucky girl also!!!
Yes, you are CC. My Daddy remarried. I'm not happy about it, but he seems happy. Besides, there's sweet fuck all I can do about it. I'm an adult and he owes me nothing anymore.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "cc"
For me it took more than one try to get it right. Now, it is extremely right and has been for a long time now
I'm a lucky girl also!!!
Yes, you are CC. My Daddy remarried. I'm not happy about it, but he seems happy. Besides, there's sweet fuck all I can do about it. I'm an adult and he owes me nothing anymore.
What if the gold digger is spending up your inheritance.
Marriages dont last anymore because men have forgotten what we really like..
No1 really wants an "independent woman"... Some guys are just afraid of being called a misogynist pig..
What men really want is a submissive, pretty woman whom is not a local celebrity among the males..
I think I'd rather have a woman be my best friend than my concubine.
No set of cultural norms are perfect for the individual, which is why it's important to find someone who shares many of your opinions behind closed doors.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "cc"
For me it took more than one try to get it right. Now, it is extremely right and has been for a long time now
I'm a lucky girl also!!!
Yes, you are CC. My Daddy remarried. I'm not happy about it, but he seems happy. Besides, there's sweet fuck all I can do about it. I'm an adult and he owes me nothing anymore.
That's good you've finally gotten over it..
If you are actually over it.
Quote from: "shin"
No set of cultural norms are perfect for the individual, which is why it's important to find someone who shares many of your opinions behind closed doors.
A woman should acknowledge that she is a woman and not try to compete with men.
Submissive women are far more happy than the women who try to be men.
Of course she has to share the husbands opinions... My opinions on politics for example are based on cold logic and I cannot accept an opinion which is moronic.
I would never be marriage material cause im not a pussy and I dont bow down to the needs of pathetic men.
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
Pathetic men are not marriage material. In fact, they're not even real men.
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
A woman needs to be of use in the house.. And that means she has to be a traditional submissive homespirit woman..
Relationships are not a hassle if the wife is not putting up a fight in every turn.
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
Pathetic men are not marriage material. In fact, they're not even real men.
Many women demand A-quality men, "real men", but they are not A-quality women themselves..
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
Pathetic men are not marriage material. In fact, they're not even real men.
In al fairness, it works both ways Shen Li..
Some women are very immature too.
I think single people become jaded about marriage as they get older. I am forty two and I'm very happy with my life as it is. Marriage represents big change and that makes me uneasy.
My old lady has a great body and a good job. Nuff said about marriage bennies.
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Berry Sweet"
There are some good guys out there but not many. I dont like being tied down...I like being free...relationships seem more like a hassle.
Pathetic men are not marriage material. In fact, they're not even real men.
In al fairness, it works both ways Shen Li..
Some women are very immature too.
In my experience, women with mediocre looks have the highest standards for men...
Real beauties dont need the circus makeup.
Quote from: "Herman"
My motorcycle has a great body too but I´m not as interested in riding her as I was when I got her.
Quote from: "Herman"
I'm happy for you Herman.
Quote from: "Herman"
For her sake, I hope that is not all you like about her.
Hopefully, people look at possible mates by measuring the entire package and not just the body. I cringe at the thought. Just the body seems superficial to me. The body is just a shell. The character and personality of a person, to me, ought to matter more.
Quote from: "Azhya Aryola"
But, what initiates interest?
It's usually appearance..
It's not enough to sustain a relationship though.
The human nature dictates that people are attracted to looks, first and foremost.
Sadly, looks are mostly dictated by genetic content, which is completely out of our control. A good example of how unfair life can be.
Then comes personality... This can be somewhat crafted by the individual, and can make all the difference!
The TRULY lucky ones (like me), are (relatively) good looking, AND have a decent mental makeup that only bolsters the entire package!
Side Note: If you're good with finances (like me), you wouldn't believe how much that means also, especially "later" in life.
^Mel ur hideous. Short, skinny, tiny eyes....GROSS!! :yuk:
Quote from: "Shen Li"
5' 11" is short? OK... I guess you're used to much taller men in China...
I'm not skinny... I am TONED. I am what men USED to look like, before everyone became FAT.
And tiny eyes? Even half closed due to a hangover, my eyes still open up more than Oriental Eye!
Coal Burner...
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Whatever. This medium is not visual like fb.