Babylon Bee, People's Cube etc.

[Anonymous]

After Chauvin Verdict, BLM Volunteers To Rebuild Minneapolis, Return All Looted Items

https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauvin-verdict-blm-volunteers-to-rebuild-minneapolis-return-all-looted-items">https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauv ... oted-items">https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauvin-verdict-blm-volunteers-to-rebuild-minneapolis-return-all-looted-items



MINNEAPOLIS, MN—BLM organizers celebrated the verdict of the Chauvin trial this week. In a touching and healing gesture, they have offered to rebuild the wreckage of Minneapolis and return all looted items back to their owners.



"We did what we came to do," said one BLM organizer. "Now we have achieved perfect justice and our work here is completed. We are looking forward to being a part of reconciliation and healing moving forward."



For the next several years, organizers will be donating their time to repair broken windows, restore torched cars, and return costly loot back to their rightful owners.



"It's the least we can do," said another organizer. "We are so thankful for the American justice system that gave the defendant due process and rightfully convicted him as guilty. What a great country we live in!"



The country is expected to now join in unity and hold hands in gratefulness-- at least until the latest outrage is broadcast on the evening news.

 ac_toofunny

[Anonymous]

After Chauvin Verdict, BLM Volunteers To Rebuild Minneapolis, Return All Looted Items

https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauvin-verdict-blm-volunteers-to-rebuild-minneapolis-return-all-looted-items">https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauv ... oted-items">https://babylonbee.com/news/after-chauvin-verdict-blm-volunteers-to-rebuild-minneapolis-return-all-looted-items



MINNEAPOLIS, MN—BLM organizers celebrated the verdict of the Chauvin trial this week. In a touching and healing gesture, they have offered to rebuild the wreckage of Minneapolis and return all looted items back to their owners.



"We did what we came to do," said one BLM organizer. "Now we have achieved perfect justice and our work here is completed. We are looking forward to being a part of reconciliation and healing moving forward."



For the next several years, organizers will be donating their time to repair broken windows, restore torched cars, and return costly loot back to their rightful owners.



"It's the least we can do," said another organizer. "We are so thankful for the American justice system that gave the defendant due process and rightfully convicted him as guilty. What a great country we live in!"



The country is expected to now join in unity and hold hands in gratefulness-- at least until the latest outrage is broadcast on the evening news.

 

[Anonymous]

Post more.

[Anonymous]

https://scontent.fyxd1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/s960x960/179675306_4161182967236934_1102483851740524911_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=GXdVafLbkGIAX-6hP0X&_nc_ht=scontent.fyxd1-1.fna&tp=7&oh=a359a4efe834d9c0edf15067db2761d6&oe=60B00FDD">

[cc]

[cc]

Definitely Not Woke - A hubby's  dilemma



https://babylonbee.com/news/a-handy-guide-to-translating-your-wifes-facial-expressions">A Handy Guide To Translating Your Wife's Facial Expressions



What are women thinking? What are they feeling? What do they WANT FROM US!?



So many questions. Luckily, you've got The Babylon Bee, and we know some women. Some of us are even married. So, we went to our wives and told them we were going to write an article explaining facial expressions. They said "That's fine. Everything is fine," so we went ahead and did it, since they obviously approved greatly.



Here you go -- every facial expression your wife has and how to translate it:



The "It's Fine" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: It's not fine. Everything is terrible. You're seriously just gonna go hang out with your friends? Totally not fine.





The "It's Not Fine" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: It's fine. Everything is fine. No, go and hang out with your friends. It's totally fine.





The "Let's Get Romantic" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: "Let's get romantic."





The "Romance, right now? Are you crazy" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: "Are you serious right now!?"





The "You Cheated on Me in a Dream Last Night" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: If your wife gives you this look, it means you've cheated on her. In her dream last night.

Make it better with chocolate.





The "No, I'm happy to eat there. Wherever you want, babe. Sounds great."

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: You have failed to be decisive while also reading her mind about where she wants to eat even though she doesn't even know. Why did she even marry you, anyway?  





The ... wait, which one was this again?

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: This might be the "it's fine" look, but it could be the "it's not fine" look. Or maybe the dream one?



 Oh no... what'd I do!?



DEPLOYING CHOCOLATE COUNTERMEASURES



PLEASE SEND HELP

[Anonymous]

Definitely Not Woke - A hubby's  dilemma



https://babylonbee.com/news/a-handy-guide-to-translating-your-wifes-facial-expressions">A Handy Guide To Translating Your Wife's Facial Expressions



What are women thinking? What are they feeling? What do they WANT FROM US!?



So many questions. Luckily, you've got The Babylon Bee, and we know some women. Some of us are even married. So, we went to our wives and told them we were going to write an article explaining facial expressions. They said "That's fine. Everything is fine," so we went ahead and did it, since they obviously approved greatly.



Here you go -- every facial expression your wife has and how to translate it:



The "It's Fine" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: It's not fine. Everything is terrible. You're seriously just gonna go hang out with your friends? Totally not fine.





The "It's Not Fine" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: It's fine. Everything is fine. No, go and hang out with your friends. It's totally fine.





The "Let's Get Romantic" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: "Let's get romantic."





The "Romance, right now? Are you crazy" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: "Are you serious right now!?"





The "You Cheated on Me in a Dream Last Night" Look

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: If your wife gives you this look, it means you've cheated on her. In her dream last night.

Make it better with chocolate.





The "No, I'm happy to eat there. Wherever you want, babe. Sounds great."

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: You have failed to be decisive while also reading her mind about where she wants to eat even though she doesn't even know. Why did she even marry you, anyway?  





The ... wait, which one was this again?

https://media.babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-8497-art6089baf79e0d7.jpg">

Translation: This might be the "it's fine" look, but it could be the "it's not fine" look. Or maybe the dream one?



 Oh no... what'd I do!?



DEPLOYING CHOCOLATE COUNTERMEASURES



PLEASE SEND HELP

 

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/ninth-circuit-court-rules-border-wall-must-be-short-enough-that-a-pregnant-woman-carrying-a-child-in-each-arm-could-be-expected-to-scale-it-without-difficulty">Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying A Child In Each Arm Could Be Expected To Scale It Without Difficulty'



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-3457-1.jpg">



SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."



While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.



"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.



The Court further assured Americans that its decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.

[Anonymous]

https://babylonbee.com/news/ninth-circuit-court-rules-border-wall-must-be-short-enough-that-a-pregnant-woman-carrying-a-child-in-each-arm-could-be-expected-to-scale-it-without-difficulty">Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying A Child In Each Arm Could Be Expected To Scale It Without Difficulty'



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-3457-1.jpg">



SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."



While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.



"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.



The Court further assured Americans that its decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.

 ac_toofunny

[Frood]

ac_lmfao

https://babylonbee.com/news/ninth-circuit-court-rules-border-wall-must-be-short-enough-that-a-pregnant-woman-carrying-a-child-in-each-arm-could-be-expected-to-scale-it-without-difficulty">Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying A Child In Each Arm Could Be Expected To Scale It Without Difficulty'



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-3457-1.jpg">



SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."



While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.



"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.



The Court further assured Americans that its decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.

[cc]

https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2021/05/the_problem_when_a_comedy_site_goes_from_satire_to_predictions.html">The Problem When Comedy Goes From Satire To Predictions - Without Even Meaning to



https://www.blazingcatfur.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/comedy-tragedy.jpg">



My friend and I have a game we often play.  He'll read a headline to me, and it's up to me to guess whether it's a real headline or something from The Babylon Bee.  During the Trump era, I guessed correctly about half the time.  Since Biden took over, I'm wrong almost 100% of the time.  The problem is that I keep thinking crazed headlines are satire, but they're not.  



As the old saying goes, the lunatics have taken over the asylum.  It turns out to be difficult to satirize societal madness.



I'm not the only one struggling with humor in 2021 America.  Seth Dillon, the CEO of The Babylon Bee, made a video for PragerU (below) in which he discusses how leftist policies and practices have killed comedy.  Instead of being in the satire business, The Babylon Bee has suddenly found itself predicting (with amazing accuracy) future headlines.  



My own experience is that the headlines in The Bee and its companion real news site, Not the Bee, are indistinguishable.

[Anonymous]

https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2021/05/the_problem_when_a_comedy_site_goes_from_satire_to_predictions.html">The Problem When Comedy Goes From Satire To Predictions - Without Even Meaning to



https://www.blazingcatfur.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/comedy-tragedy.jpg">



My friend and I have a game we often play.  He'll read a headline to me, and it's up to me to guess whether it's a real headline or something from The Babylon Bee.  During the Trump era, I guessed correctly about half the time.  Since Biden took over, I'm wrong almost 100% of the time.  The problem is that I keep thinking crazed headlines are satire, but they're not.  



As the old saying goes, the lunatics have taken over the asylum.  It turns out to be difficult to satirize societal madness.



I'm not the only one struggling with humor in 2021 America.  Seth Dillon, the CEO of The Babylon Bee, made a video for PragerU (below) in which he discusses how leftist policies and practices have killed comedy.  Instead of being in the satire business, The Babylon Bee has suddenly found itself predicting (with amazing accuracy) future headlines.  



My own experience is that the headlines in The Bee and its companion real news site, Not the Bee, are indistinguishable.

A lot of news in 2021 would have been satire 25 years ago.

[cc]

True!! ^^



In other news .... https://babylonbee.com/video/58">Disney To Remove Problematic Kiss From Classic Movie, Snow White Will Now Remain Dead

[Anonymous]

True!! ^^



In other news .... https://babylonbee.com/video/58">Disney To Remove Problematic Kiss From Classic Movie, Snow White Will Now Remain Dead

[cc]

It's a satire site - https://babylonbee.com/">https://babylonbee.com/



However, as the post 1 above the Snow White one reads -

The Problem When Comedy Goes From Satire To Predictions - Without Even Meaning to



My own experience is that the headlines in The Bee and its companion real news site, Not the Bee, are indistinguishable.