Weird predicament

[Frood]

So I've got a really good mate going back to the late 90's who got with his early 20's sweetheart, bought a massive house together and now plan to tie the knot a few months from now.



I knew in advance this was happening and figured I'd be back in my home state by then but this is unlikely now, so I'll have to drive 20 hours each way or spend a day changing flights... which would normally be OK, but the invite states no plus one's and no children. Just me and wife.



It's in informal wedding on their property with finger food, drinks, and later barbecue/after party.



It doesn't sit well with me that our 11 year old  can't attend any of it, makes a huge hassle, besides me having to get down there, get time off of work, et cetera...



I'd rather make excuses and not go but it may be seen unfavourably by mate and bride...though would get them a great gift...



...but the kid thing... that really bothers me.



What to do....

[Reggie_Essent]

Why wouldn't they want kids there?  All the weddings and receptions I've been to always had kid tables at the receptions for the urchins to keep out of the adults way.

[Frood]

Why wouldn't they want kids there?  All the weddings and receptions I've been to always had kid tables at the receptions for the urchins to keep out of the adults way.

I dunno.... but our kid is very mature for her age, polite, respectful  does what she's told, and I only get to see her every few months because of this job I've been on.



But it's not the first time I've encountered the stipulation though it's not usually so set in stone.



If I have to choose, I'm spending the time with my little girl.



It's a dilemma..

[Reggie_Essent]

Your girl comes first.  I'm sure your friend will understand.

[Frood]

Your girl comes first.  I'm sure your friend will understand.

 



Yeah, I'm thinking I'll attend the 2 pm ceremony solo and leave by 5... then we'll have movie/popcorn night.

[Dove]

Why wouldn't they want kids there?  All the weddings and receptions I've been to always had kid tables at the receptions for the urchins to keep out of the adults way.

 Some people don't like it.



 If I see "no kids" I just don't go. Even if I was gonna get a babysitter anyway. I just don't wanna be at any family event that doesn't welcome children....I figure they wanna get drunk and wild and I don't.



 For a wedding like this I'll attend the ceremony but skip the reception.

[Dove]

Why wouldn't they want kids there?  All the weddings and receptions I've been to always had kid tables at the receptions for the urchins to keep out of the adults way.

I dunno.... but our kid is very mature for her age, polite, respectful  does what she's told, and I only get to see her every few months because of this job I've been on.



But it's not the first time I've encountered the stipulation though it's not usually so set in stone.



If I have to choose, I'm spending the time with my little girl.



It's a dilemma..

 I wouldn't go.

[Dove]

Your girl comes first.  I'm sure your friend will understand.

 



Yeah, I'm thinking I'll attend the 2 pm ceremony solo and leave by 5... then we'll have movie/popcorn night.

 There you go. That's exactly what I would do.

[Lokmar]

Dont go.

[Frood]

Dont go.

I'm not going to do bad blood on their most special of moments.



Will just say that I'm down on a really short trip.

[caskur]

Why wouldn't they want kids there?  All the weddings and receptions I've been to always had kid tables at the receptions for the urchins to keep out of the adults way.

I dunno.... but our kid is very mature for her age, polite, respectful  does what she's told, and I only get to see her every few months because of this job I've been on.



But it's not the first time I've encountered the stipulation though it's not usually so set in stone.



If I have to choose, I'm spending the time with my little girl.



It's a dilemma..

If everyones kids go, it adds 1000s to the bill.



You are definitely very inconvenienced however how much do you and your wife deserve a lovely outting together?

[Frood]

I dunno.... but our kid is very mature for her age, polite, respectful  does what she's told, and I only get to see her every few months because of this job I've been on.



But it's not the first time I've encountered the stipulation though it's not usually so set in stone.



If I have to choose, I'm spending the time with my little girl.



It's a dilemma..

If everyones kids go, it adds 1000s to the bill.



You are definitely very inconvenienced however how much do you and your wife deserve a lovely outting together?

Party pies, springrolls, and lemonade for the otherwise elderly and jet ins, then at 6 pm, the barbecues and piss roars up.



I just don't understand why no kids are allowed at the beautiful moment. Kids need to see great rare positive happenings...



...when I grew up, there was never a thought of excluding kids from celebrations....but I also get that the world is a different place these days.



I never thought he would be the type to exclude all kids. He's changed.

[caskur]

If everyones kids go, it adds 1000s to the bill.



You are definitely very inconvenienced however how much do you and your wife deserve a lovely outting together?

Party pies, springrolls, and lemonade for the otherwise elderly and jet ins, then at 6 pm, the barbecues and piss roars up.



I just don't understand why no kids are allowed at the beautiful moment. Kids need to see great rare positive happenings...



...when I grew up, there was never a thought of excluding kids from celebrations....but I also get that the world is a different place these days.



I never thought he would be the type to exclude all kids. He's changed.

Listen you've got only one kid, others have more. There would be a sound reason behind the restrctions. Sometimes adults want to act like adults without worrying about offending children and especially other peoples children at a piss-up. Like I said.... go on a date with your wife. It'll be romantic.



Get your daughters friends parents to look after her.

[Frood]

You're not getting what I'm saying...but, meh...that's OK too.

[caskur]

You're not getting what I'm saying...but, meh...that's OK too.

 I have gotten what you say... 100%... but I am trying to get you to see another side.



 I personally would say no BECAUSE of the travel alone, not because my kid couldn't come. I mean do you escourt and stay at kids birthday parties with your daughter when she goes to kids birthday parties?



it is a weighing up dilemma .... anyway, talk about it with your wife. See what she thinks.