I heard that Fat Oak went skydiving in a tiny bikini..

[Frood]

...and her growler looked like a rabid basset hound with its head out of the window of a racetrack funny-car and a piece of dental floss between its teeth....

...as the parachute deployed, her pissflaps were violently yanked back thus bitch-slapping her tandem instructor so hard he's permanently deaf and followed around by hungry seagulls and pelicans.

Does anybody else have any further information about Fat Oak's unfortunate accident?

[Shen Li]

CBC will provide updates on the accident at the top of the hour.

[Frood]

I guess when she landed she left a massive crater and almost killed a bird :(

;D ;D ;D

[Oliver the Second]

Satellite image of the landing spot

[Shen Li]

Satellite image of the landing spot

;D

[Adolf Oliver Bush]

Yes, but does the landing spot smell any worse than the foetid rutting pit of a Canuckistani Moose? Inquiring minds and all.

[DKG]

Is Oak obese or like Renee, is there a lot of exaggeration about her weight? Not that it matters on a forum.

[Frood]

Oak looks like the love child of Danny Devito as the Penguin in Batman and an inflatable beach ball in chunky heels.

[Biggie Smiles]

Oh no... she's juggernaut fat and her head looks like a fucking fire hydrant

[Adolf Oliver Bush]

Nah...

Lose Jabba's tail, you'll get an idea of Oak's general dimensions and... err... "facial attributes".

[Frood]

Look... I'm not against large rotund brown puffer fish on the land who breaths cholesterol and shits refried beans....


....but shouldn't we move on from that raging retard now that she and a couple of other equally lobotomised undesirables killed Bastard Factory by their very appointed mod presences?

Fat Oak is medically nuts.

(She has even tried to eat herself)

[Frood]

 

[Fat Oak]

I have devoured BF. I am still hungry.

[Adolf Oliver Bush]

Stuff a lipo tube into your guts and suck out some of the cellulite then, you fat fucken pig.

[Frood]

I've seen sexier looking water balloons...