Embarrassing Stories

[Renee]

Here something I posted on Blue Frost's forum a year or so ago. I figured while we are sharing embarrassing stories this one qualifies.



I rode a horse once as well. It wasn't pretty. It was at a dude ranch years ago while on a family vacation. The handlers gave us some quick riding instructions and short demonstration on how to control and guide a horse.  They assigned my husband and daughters each a horse and when it was my turn they took one look at me and said "let's put mom on Orry". Well the next thing I know a big dirty looking cowboy thing leads out the biggest God damn horse I've ever seen ac_wot . I swear 10 minutes before I got there the thing was probably pulling stumps out of a farmer's field. I immediately start to head in a direction that will take me as far away from this freaking mutant Clydesdale as possible  ac_crying  . The cowboy version of pig pen then explains to me in some form of English that "this here horse ain't shit to be a feared of, he's big but he's soft ridin".  He then say's in a none too quite tone. "A pretty gal with all that body needs a big horse, one of them tuther smaller rides wodden't be good enough for a gal like youse". Well that made me feel a WHOLE lot better ac_huh . Meanwhile my kids and husband are yelling at me not to be such a chicken so I reluctantly agree to try and ride Dino the bronto-horse. Now being that I'm on the height challenged side (5'-3") and bigger around than I am tall, two big dirty dusty looking cowboy like dudes grab me and begin to try and boost me up onto this monster by way of lifting and pushing me by my legs and butt  ac_blush . After about 4 failed attempts to get me up on this prehistoric mega horse they finally get my huge ass into the saddle which btw immediately begins digging into my fupa and my behind at the same time (so unbelievably comfortable  ac_rollseyes).  The two filthy sweaty cowboys then adjust the stirrups to fit my short fat legs and one of the dirty duo proceed to whack the tractor sized beast on the ass to get it moving. The thing lurches forward a few steps like a WWII era tank and I start to panic and let out a hissing scream like a tea pot on the boil  ac_crying  . Everyone in the riding group turns and looks at me like I've lost my mind and the two dirty cowboys who were laughing and enjoying my embarrassment all the while start giggling uncontrollably like two little girls. So here I am perched what seems like about 20 feet off the dirt, scared shitless and the horse starts to plod to the head of the riding group without any input from me. I suddenly realize that I've totally forgotten everything explained to me in the short demonstration of how to ride a horse and I have no idea how to stop this giant beast ac_wtf  . Sheer terror has set in and as I sloooooooowly plod past my husband who is on his NORMAL size horse, I look DOWN on him and silently mouth the words "help me" and as he starts to laugh, I follow up my plea for help with "I'm going to kill you" which makes him laugh even more.  



Fortunately the gigantic horse was so used to the trail that they lead us onto that it just followed the path eating grass and leaves along the way all at its own glacial pace. When I tried to kick it to urge it along my legs were too short for it to even notice my effort. In fact after one or two kicks it sort of turned around and looked at me like as if to say "fuck off fat ass, you suck at riding". Fortunately my giant mount knew more about what he or she was doing than I did and we made it back to the stable not too far behind the others where I immediately climbed off the horse like a spider climbing down the side of a house and never got on one again.



That's my horse story. Not too glamorous or exciting but my *wonderful* family still laughs hysterically about it.

[RW]

HAHAHAHAHA!

[RW]

I used to like diving - like off spring boards - and I would spend most of my pool time hiking up the ladder and jumping off doing all sorts of flips and tricks.  Of course, guys seeing a girl do stunts weren't ones to be upstaged so I'd always have a collection of guys trying to show off.  Now I'm honestly not much of an attention whore IRL, but standing backwards on the end of a high board would garner a lot of stares from pool patrons and I really enjoyed the suspense and spectacle of it.  



So true to form, I was at the pool, and I step out onto the board to do a one and a half flip (a flip that ends in a dive).  As usual, there was a line up of guys watching and waiting for their turn.  So I leap to the end of the board, drop down for a spring and start spinning.  Well this time, I over rotated and ended up hitting the water flat front.  The sound it made was deafening.  It felt like someone had slapped the whole front of my body at the same time.  I could hear the collective gasp of the entire pool from under the water, which at that point, I think I would have rather drown that come back up but the instinct to breath is a strong one so up I came.  The entire pool was staring at me.  I swear people came out of the sauna to see WTF that noise was.  



Embarrassing.

[Renee]

I used to like diving - like off spring boards - and I would spend most of my pool time hiking up the ladder and jumping off doing all sorts of flips and tricks.  Of course, guys seeing a girl do stunts weren't ones to be upstaged so I'd always have a collection of guys trying to show off.  Now I'm honestly not much of an attention whore IRL, but standing backwards on the end of a high board would garner a lot of stares from pool patrons and I really enjoyed the suspense and spectacle of it.  



So true to form, I was at the pool, and I step out onto the board to do a one and a half flip (a flip that ends in a dive).  As usual, there was a line up of guys watching and waiting for their turn.  So I leap to the end of the board, drop down for a spring and start spinning.  Well this time, I over rotated and ended up hitting the water flat front.  The sound it made was deafening.  It felt like someone had slapped the whole front of my body at the same time.  I could hear the collective gasp of the entire pool from under the water, which at that point, I think I would have rather drown that come back up but the instinct to breath is a strong one so up I came.  The entire pool was staring at me.  I swear people came out of the sauna to see WTF that noise was.  



Embarrassing.

I would laugh but that sound like it really hurt.

[RW]

It hurt but the slap to my ego was the worst of it.

[cc]

Some very funny and very candid stories. I've been enjoying them tonight. Thanks folks!!



 I'm trying to work up the time to tell about my now hubby, myself and the German maid at the Sylvia Hotel on English Bay during our quite early courtship daze.



If I forget ... have had many physical and heart  things on my plate of late ... kick me and I'll spill my guts .... no skin off me, he was the "butt" of it anyhow.

[RW]

Put in the effort woman!  I bet you have some great stories.



I am sorry to hear you are having issues.  I hope things settle down for you quickly.

[Anonymous]

Thank all of you for sharing stories I think most of you would prefer to forget..



I have had embarrassing moments too, but I will not reveal them..



It is too embarrassing for me.

 ac_blush

[Gary Oak]

I have an embarrassing story, but it's embarrassing to someone else. I made a deal with a real welching woman to read the epic illustrious novel Tartan Dragon and she never kept her end of the deal. Now she cannot hide from her shame.  ac_cool  ac_toofunny

[cc]

Now now Gary.

[cc]

OK RW, you got me goin



The Now Infamous Sylvia Hotel Incident (not to be confused with the Many Infamous Sophia's Restaurant Incidents)



Following a crazy month of "getting to know each other" ... in every possible position  and location within my apartment-become-love-den ... bed, couch, rug, chairs including kitchen, tub, entry mat, me held upside-down in front of the tall hall mirror,  etc. ..... nightly "preliminaries" in the dark corner of Sofia's Restaurant, shared Caesar & appetizers (and their specialty, deep fried avocados – I kid you not, they were to dream for) for late dinner always ending  with us rushing back to my apartment a block away ... not leaving the Fairfield area of Victoria for the 1st 3 or 4 weeks. I was very mischievous there ... his very being brought out a side of me that I had not known before – I need to tell some of the embarrassing events the devil made me cause at Sofia's in another story. (Sofia's in the Fairfield area of Victoria did not show up in a google search ... makes me sad to think it may be gone now)



We both quickly knew we were in this for life and decided a wild few days away would deepen our rapidly growing selves within  this absolutely crazy "us".



The previous year, he had lived very alone and deliberately kept to himself in the West End literally at Stanley Park and knew the area well and used it to ease the hurt from recent horrible losses .. the hotel bars  ... fortunately he was a Scotch (or end of evening Drambuie) "sipper", and not a "drinker"  .. .got to know the tiny dark private restaurants and their owners. He had told me how he sat in the Sylvia Hotel bar / restaurant late many nights imagining a several days long love-tryst fantasy "upstairs" after he finally met the fantasy mind / body lady he knew he would someday meet. Thus, the Sylvia was a meant-to-be natural.



On the ferry ride to Van, clearly we never got out of his van / shaggin wagon in the bowels of the ship. No, it didn't have a "if this van is rockin, don't come a knockin" sign on it ... it was quite classy but to the trained eye obviously contained all the desirable accouterments .. and was occupied.



Forced to leave by the blaring loudspeaker and horns blaring behind us, he took me along Denman on the way to his special and personal Sylvia and pointed out his special little restaurants we would soon be visiting for a few days. Mr. & Mrs. Smith checked into the Sylvia and took the "special" made for sex suite hidden away on the top floor.



This guy somehow turned me into a fountain ... something that had happened a few times before him but I had always fought it off out of embarrassment ... greatly limiting my most extreme pleasure moments .. .he explained what it really was and made me comfortable with my peculiarity to the extent that I played into it ... encouraged him to turn me loose ...  soaking sheets  ... I don't mean wetting them ... I mean "soaking" them and everything that got in the path.



The older German maid had to wonder what the hell we were doing when she made the bed each morning, so we went out of our way to avoid her ... checked the halls were clear etc to make sure she would not see us.



To get the entire picture, you need to know that the the entry to the room had a short hall from which one could only see the foot of the bed and the huge chandelier. That, and my new-found freedom to let go and allow him to cause me to soak the sheets / entire bed are needed background.



Well, Sunday morning arrived. For some reason we forgot that we were satiated (and saturated) from Sat night's activities. Suddenly very brave, I ordered him to stand by the foot of the bed.  Rapidly growing braver every day now, tease-moi was on the bed slowly displaying and touching my parts as he stood there naked and displaying proof of his "growing" interest. One of my brazen tricks was to flick my by no means small bra with my toes .... it bounced off the ceiling and caught on the chandelier ... stuck there lifelike horizontally  in a manner displaying all its grandeur.



We both laughed and proudly left it there. I went to him at the foot of the bed, kneeled in front of him and tickling him with my panties, wrapping them around it and slowly teased him into a state beyond anything I had seen of him before.  



OOPS!! In our desperate haste to get into the room after sexy talk and leg activity  in the lounge downstairs the night before, we had forgotten to place the "Don't make up the room" sign. Suddenly there was the sound of the key in the door and the door opening. Being the brazen sneak I had become of late, I dove far up onto the bed out of site from the entry hall.



He froze in amazement of my speed and was left standing there, bra hanging from the chandelier, holding my scarlet panties around his roaring manhood while standing at a perfect 90 degree angle to the door ... and appearing to be completely alone in the room ... slowly becoming aware that it appeared he had the room only for himself complete with lots of sexy dirty weekend type female clothes ... and that now he would further be solely blamed for the strangely soaked sheets also.



We heard a scream and the word "pervert" loudly in a thick German accent ... and the door slam loudly. Naked, I was laughing uncontrollably  ... curled into fetal as my stomach hurt from laughing so hard .... which only made it worse for him. Fortunately he soon got over his embarrassment and quickly began to see how funny it was ..... moved toward me and "punished" me for laughing for a considerable length of time and by several means.



Once my delightful "punishment" was over, we dressed and went for breakfast. He had me check the halls to be sure the maid was not around .... I went ahead and dishonestly motioned to him "all clear" ... he went toward the elevator and there  was the maid .. again shouting "pervert" at him as he tried to hide himself where there was nowhere to hide.

[cc]

Continued .... The breakfast buffet downstairs that followed was the greatest ever ... trying to eat while laughing uncontrollably ... knowing every second that we would soon return to our suite and pick up where we left off



-------------------



That event started inadvertently, but I took advantage and made it worse. I don't know where my newly found mischievousness came from. It started very early in our relationship / sex fest, but I did many silly things to mildly embarrass him .... including a couple of very blatant things at our late night dinners at Sofia's .. all made possible by and  emanating from our crazy never stopping sex. Soon I will tell a couple of embarrassing things I caused for him at Sofia's later.



I guess it was my first taste of total trust from and toward a man that gave me the freedom to be mischievous and deliberately set up momentary embarrassments for him .... moments we continue to treasure and re-tell today



They are not to the level of the above one (one could never set  up one like that), but were mischievous on my part, briefly  embarrassing for him at the time ..... he soon got over them and found them quite funny ... but ... still played along and delivered  earned punishment upon me. ... hmmm ... maybe I am beginning to understand why I did these evil things the devil made me do http://memebee.com/vancouver/images/smilies/sneaky2.gif">



I have no "tails" to tell about things he did to me .... he would not do that to me .... seems a mischievous femme can get away with things a caring male would never do to a lady



although I still suspect he knew all along that trucker was right behind our motor home that day driving south from Fairmont while I was performing for my lover for him to watch  in his rear view mirror ...... sure that he would eventually find a place to pull over and park .... I was so aroused that I was oblivious of everything except my still fairly new lover watching and encouraging me  ..... we both lost count of how many times I came



Damn, now there IS a story of me being embarrassed when I finally went to the  back window of the motor home ... only to see a huge semi very closeup with driver and crew just above eye level ... 4 wide open eyeballs looking directly at me  ... at the perfect angle to see the bed I had been performing on in the motor home.

[RW]

LOL!  Awesome stories cc!  I can just imagine the look on that maid's face when she saw your man standing there.  Too funny!



Lucky truckers too.

[cc]

I "say" I'm embarrassed that the truckers likely saw my entire show .. .but,  ...... I confess that after I got over the surprise a big part of me finds it sexy  



joke would have been on me if they had stopped with us when we pulled over along the highway  ... We pulled into a place with a small lake right there so we stayed the night ... cooked prawns on sticks in the huge fire we built that night  on the shore after dark  ..... joked about my "fans" ... great memories ... great times as his (later ours) motor home was a beauty



it was the same 30 ft motor home we stayed in at Castlegar Golf Course a cpl of years later for 3 or 4  months ..... some "tails" there too ... I need to take some time and document some of our adventures



Wish had known you in those days. Would have loved to talk with you in person



Guess I should start a thread in your Pink site for the Sylvia "tail" .. and for future Sophia Restaurant "tails" ... I was a saucy bitch there ... but I know the devil made me do it

[@realAzhyaAryola]

I can't think of any embarrassing stories. Let me flip through the memory bank.   ac_biggrin