Watching Fat Oak get torn apart like a rag doll

[knows things]

...that reminded me I once craved nicotine and still do but will never have it again....

From personal experience, it is psychologically better to set shorter term goals. "Not now" and "not today" are easier targets than "never again" in that you are rewarded on the regular for your success and are more likely to try again should you ever "fall off the wagon". They effectively rewire your thought processes towards feeling good about your continued and accrued achievements for as long as you persist in your course. Eventually, the chattering monkey of addiction on your back is no longer a concern. You no longer need to rely on willpower, you can be in the thick of people indulging in what you used to indulge in and feel no desire whatsoever to participate in it yourself.

It does take time, as all good things do. But you do win the battle over yourself in the end if you keep reminding yourself that all the times your "not today" has triumphed over failure. I know because I've done it. Had I said "never" instead, all I'd have would have been a string of failures for every time I fell off the wagon and the expectation that I might again at any time in the future. Instead I told myself "not today". I still fell off the wagon a few times, but nowhere near as many times as I prevailed over it. Within a year I was thumbing my nose at that monkey. These days I barely give it a second thought.

I imagine you are proud you've made it this far on your "never again" as you should justly be. And perhaps you might be comfortable in waging a war of Will against the craving for the rest of your days, I wouldn't question you if that were your mind.

But if you ever feel like kicking that monkey completely to the curb and leaving it utterly defeated in your wake, remember what I've said here today.

[Dove]

From personal experience, it is psychologically better to set shorter term goals. "Not now" and "not today" are easier targets than "never again" in that you are rewarded on the regular for your success and are more likely to try again should you ever "fall off the wagon". They effectively rewire your thought processes towards feeling good about your continued and accrued achievements for as long as you persist in your course. Eventually, the chattering monkey of addiction on your back is no longer a concern. You no longer need to rely on willpower, you can be in the thick of people indulging in what you used to indulge in and feel no desire whatsoever to participate in it yourself.

It does take time, as all good things do. But you do win the battle over yourself in the end if you keep reminding yourself that all the times your "not today" has triumphed over failure. I know because I've done it. Had I said "never" instead, all I'd have would have been a string of failures for every time I fell off the wagon and the expectation that I might again at any time in the future. Instead I told myself "not today". I still fell off the wagon a few times, but nowhere near as many times as I prevailed over it. Within a year I was thumbing my nose at that monkey. These days I barely give it a second thought.

I imagine you are proud you've made it this far on your "never again" as you should justly be. And perhaps you might be comfortable in waging a war of Will against the craving for the rest of your days, I wouldn't question you if that were your mind.

But if you ever feel like kicking that monkey completely to the curb and leaving it utterly defeated in your wake, remember what I've said here today.

 When I was kicking heroin I HAD to use the "just today I won't use" mindset

 Because the thought of NEVER feeling that high again was devastating. It honestly made me feel like life wasn't even worth it anymore.

 I KNOW how pathetic that sounds.

 But I am 10 years clean and NOW I don't even want it anymore.

 When I'm in my last days my daughters will make sure I'm flying on morphine so...I can look forward to that lol

[smartass]

When I was kicking heroin I HAD to use the "just today I won't use" mindset

 Because the thought of NEVER feeling that high again was devastating. It honestly made me feel like life wasn't even worth it anymore.

 I KNOW how pathetic that sounds.

 But I am 10 years clean and NOW I don't even want it anymore.

 When I'm in my last days my daughters will make sure I'm flying on morphine so...I can look forward to that lol

I had a few monkeys on my back. It took a while to get them under control. Luckily (from my perspective) my body was becoming largely unresponsive to the effects and withdrawals and much of my habits were... well, habit. I would still get a buzz on occasion, usually when I'd sourced more potent medical grade stuff.

I don't miss it, though I also wouldn't trade my experience with it for the world. I came out the other side of it alright and the manner by which I came out of it gave me strength and somewhat of a source of pride in myself. "Yes, I put myself in that pit. But I also managed to get myself out of it". Not many do both.

Cannabinoids might be one thing I might look into in the future, but its doubtful. The last time I had any of that was over 4 years ago and while I've been around it since I simply haven't felt like it. I could probably score some gummies or a bud or two right now in fact - I wouldn't have to go far for it, but I just don't feel like doing it. I wasn't looking to give that aspect of my drug usage away, it's just the way things shook out.

I do still vape, don't bother with the smokes except very occasionally (about two packs of smokes in the last four years) and my caffeine intake goes up and down on the regular. Mostly coffee and green tea. Those are my drugs these days and I'm feeling pretty good about that. I may give the vaping up... I dunno though. Yes, nicotine is a poison but in the near absence of burning vegetable matter my lung function has improved immeasurably and I suspect there might have been something to those French tests that indicated coronaviruses didn't fare too well with the nic floating past them.

It could all be bullshit for what I know; the one thing I do know is whatever I'm doing now is working for me. So why fuck with it?

[smartass]

Meanwhile...


https://youtu.be/j7znVUW7kRI?si=9naI8Dbpwz5fL75B


...edibles be rayciss...

[Lokmar]

Have all the drugs you want. I dont want ANY tax payer dollars bailing anyone out with treatment of any kind and when dirty dopers wind up trying to rob me and I shoot them dead, I should get to sell their body to science. Also, killing street bums should be legal.

[Lokmar]

Meanwhile...


https://youtu.be/j7znVUW7kRI?si=9naI8Dbpwz5fL75B


...edibles be rayciss...

Glad to see whites still excelling at something!!!

[caskur]

I had a few monkeys on my back. It took a while to get them under control. Luckily (from my perspective) my body was becoming largely unresponsive to the effects and withdrawals and much of my habits were... well, habit. I would still get a buzz on occasion, usually when I'd sourced more potent medical grade stuff.

I don't miss it, though I also wouldn't trade my experience with it for the world. I came out the other side of it alright and the manner by which I came out of it gave me strength and somewhat of a source of pride in myself. "Yes, I put myself in that pit. But I also managed to get myself out of it". Not many do both.

Cannabinoids might be one thing I might look into in the future, but its doubtful. The last time I had any of that was over 4 years ago and while I've been around it since I simply haven't felt like it. I could probably score some gummies or a bud or two right now in fact - I wouldn't have to go far for it, but I just don't feel like doing it. I wasn't looking to give that aspect of my drug usage away, it's just the way things shook out.

I do still vape, don't bother with the smokes except very occasionally (about two packs of smokes in the last four years) and my caffeine intake goes up and down on the regular. Mostly coffee and green tea. Those are my drugs these days and I'm feeling pretty good about that. I may give the vaping up... I dunno though. Yes, nicotine is a poison but in the near absence of burning vegetable matter my lung function has improved immeasurably and I suspect there might have been something to those French tests that indicated coronaviruses didn't fare too well with the nic floating past them.

It could all be bullshit for what I know; the one thing I do know is whatever I'm doing now is working for me. So why fuck with it?

Nicotine would kill corona virus... it's a rather fragile virus.


The green tea might not be a healthy option...

Green Tea is prone to mould and mould is really bad for your organs...

I know tea is lovely but find an alternative...


You know weird as this sounds I will have hot water with a dash of milk.... and it's quite nice but everyone gives me a funny look.

 

[smartass]

Nicotine would kill corona virus... it's a rather fragile virus.


The green tea might not be a healthy option...

Green Tea is prone to mould and mould is really bad for your organs...

I know tea is lovely but find an alternative...

Well yeah, the alternative is coffee. Vit and Frood would get up me about my penchant for instant coffee, but I don't mind the taste and it's quick and easy. There's very little in the way of properly brewed coffee that I prefer to it.

But to your comments on green tea... I tend to be pretty selective about where I source it from, I don't just grab any old leaf off the shelf. There's a Japanese blend that was recommended to me I quite like - fucked if I know what it's called, I just know it from the hen scratchings on the packet. Never had a problem with mould in it in the fifteen years or so that I've been getting it but I'll keep what you say in mind.

Actually my biggest issue where that is concerned is not the growth of mould, but the weight loss. Supposed to drink a maximum of three servings a day, though I go through stages where I drink significantly more than that. As a result, I find it almost impossible to put on weight when I'm really hooking into it. You might think that's a nice problem to have, but with my bone density and BMI being what they are I'm already at the lower reaches of what is considered a healthy weight and I don't need anything driving me lower than I already am.

You know weird as this sounds I will have hot water with a dash of milk.... and it's quite nice but everyone gives me a funny look.

 

Fuck it, you're not hurting anyone with that and if it makes you feel good... who cares what anyone else thinks?

[Garraty_47]

Well yeah, the alternative is coffee. Vit and Frood would get up me about my penchant for instant coffee, but I don't mind the taste and it's quick and easy. There's very little in the way of properly brewed coffee that I prefer to it.

Oh I might take the piss out of you for it but judge? Never!

From the official website of The Elevated Church of the Good Bean:

Whether you acquire your coffee as whole beans, pre-ground, or already brewed the important thing is having Nectar of the Good Bean.

Likewise whether you prefer your coffee unadulterated, with a splash of creamer, flavored, or as a minor ingredient in a mixed beverage the important thing is having Nectar of the Good Bean.

It matters not if you percolate, pod, press, or purchase your Nectar of the Good Bean as a finished product. It is all sacred and should be praised.

Members of TECotGB must not become elitist about the particulars of coffee acquisition and preparation. Diverse individual preferences is a good thing; it contributes to a vast range of experiences with Nectar of the Good Bean.

The one exception to this inclusivity is of course decaf.

Never decaf. Never ever never never.

Ever.

[Dove]

Have all the drugs you want. I dont want ANY tax payer dollars bailing anyone out with treatment of any kind and when dirty dopers wind up trying to rob me and I shoot them dead, I should get to sell their body to science. Also, killing street bums should be legal.

 I only robbed my own family members but trust me....they deserved it.

 The only person who was mad at me over my heroin adventures was the man I'm with now...he obviously got over it. But the first convo I had with him after I got out of rehab had me ugly crying myself to sleep.

  I thought I burned this bridge. Not even close...but at the time I really thought he would never speak to me again.

 Biggie wasn't thrilled either. He knew because I told him though. Before I even went to rehab.

 I'm glad I didn't try scamming anyone I care about or love.

 I felt like I got myself into that mess and I'd had to pull my way out somehow. Some of thr stories I heard people tell in recovery ....oh man. Even at my worst i couldn't do some of the shit I heard other people openly admit to. As if they were proud of having that shame.

 Sharing their "bragamonies".   

[Dove]

Oh I might take the piss out of you for it but judge? Never!

From the official website of The Elevated Church of the Good Bean:

Whether you acquire your coffee as whole beans, pre-ground, or already brewed the important thing is having Nectar of the Good Bean.

Likewise whether you prefer your coffee unadulterated, with a splash of creamer, flavored, or as a minor ingredient in a mixed beverage the important thing is having Nectar of the Good Bean.

It matters not if you percolate, pod, press, or purchase your Nectar of the Good Bean as a finished product. It is all sacred and should be praised.

Members of TECotGB must not become elitist about the particulars of coffee acquisition and preparation. Diverse individual preferences is a good thing; it contributes to a vast range of experiences with Nectar of the Good Bean.

The one exception to this inclusivity is of course decaf.

Never decaf. Never ever never never.

Ever.

 Decaf is the devil

 I moved in with a man who doesn't drink coffee. Even knowing this I constantly offer it lol.

 He also hates cats.

 I always said I would never trust any grown adult who doesn't live on coffee and who doesn't like cats too. Figures I'd end up with exactly that

 He supports my coffee habit and my cat lol.  He talks shit to my cat every evening. I'll hear it from the next room. He is "you're just lucky I love her or you'd be out the fucking door" and she just head boops him in the leg lol

[Lokmar]

I only robbed my own family members but trust me....they deserved it.

 The only person who was mad at me over my heroin adventures was the man I'm with now...he obviously got over it. But the first convo I had with him after I got out of rehab had me ugly crying myself to sleep.

  I thought I burned this bridge. Not even close...but at the time I really thought he would never speak to me again.

 Biggie wasn't thrilled either. He knew because I told him though. Before I even went to rehab.

 I'm glad I didn't try scamming anyone I care about or love.

 I felt like I got myself into that mess and I'd had to pull my way out somehow. Some of thr stories I heard people tell in recovery ....oh man. Even at my worst i couldn't do some of the shit I heard other people openly admit to. As if they were proud of having that shame.

 Sharing their "bragamonies".   

I'm a bit softer than I'd like to be many times. A childhood friend of mine hanged himself a few years back and another was going down the same road. I wound up putting him up in hotels, buying him food and helping him in other ways over several months. I dont know if he will ever get his shit straight but I'm done investing money in him. My kids gave me a bunch of shit over it. All in all, I spent about $1200 on keeping him alive...not much, really.

[Dove]

I'm a bit softer than I'd like to be many times. A childhood friend of mine hanged himself a few years back and another was going down the same road. I wound up putting him up in hotels, buying him food and helping him in other ways over several months. I dont know if he will ever get his shit straight but I'm done investing money in him. My kids gave me a bunch of shit over it. All in all, I spent about $1200 on keeping him alive...not much, really.

 As one who has beena junkie...DONT. I know it feels horrible when it's someone you love or care about but you really are helping them stay addicts.

 They gotta hit that rock bottom and that can be way lower than you ever imagine as a normal person. Thankfully MY rock bottom was pretty gnarly BUT didn't involve a bunch of dicks and dumpster eating so I had it easy compared to many others.

 Unless he wants a ride to rehab give him absolutely nothing. 

 And most people who talk a lot of shit are some of the softest hearted people around so...that doesn't surprise me at all, Lok 

 

[smartass]

Oh I might take the piss out of you for it...

My piss stinks, but if you're gonna take it out then... I would hope that you and it would be very very happy together.

What really ought to worry you are the Number Twos; they positively reek apparently when I am in the depths of a serious  coffee binge, plus they have a nasty tendency to stain the ceramic. Not recommended for consumption.

Unless your name is Veronica Moser, in which case.... be my guest?

[Lab Flaker]

Aggro-Sow will try to shit in anybody's water trough...

"First to shoot an arrow across my bow." Hahahahaaa... is that like sex-talk ??

Who is this Oak/Lily individual? She comes across like a plantar wort.

I wonder if she is wider than she is tall too?