You must insult the person above you.

[Shen Li]

Stu's neighbour: "Hey Stu, how's the diet going?"
Stu: "Not good. I had eggs for breakfast."
Stu's neighbour: "Scrambled?"
Stu: "Cadbury."

[J E B Stuart]

Shen's note to self:

*Before sitting on another face, make sure I don't accidentally grab the super glue when I lube my bacon strip*

Amen.

[Shen Li]

Stu's neighbour neighbor suggested he put cow manure on his strawberries. He tried it.

He's going back to whipped cream.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Went on a speed date.  Was disappointed that it didn't involve meth.

[Shen Li]

Prof thinks smoking pot and then maturbating is weed whacking.