You must insult the person above you.

[J E B Stuart]

Had an epiphany yesterday while takin' a dump. Is now convinced he can achieve 6-pack abs through severe constipation.

Amen.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

^^^Meet the author of the book on the subject.

[J E B Stuart]

Stood at the front of the line all night in freezing weather to meet the author and get his signed copy of "Constipation Nation:  Your Six Pack to Go". Immediately thereafter, went to the grocery store and stocked up on red meats, stinky cheeses and unripe bananas.

So far, he's gone ten consecutive days without pinchin' one off. Is a little concerned about the hallucinations that started popping up on day 7, but remains determined and committed.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

Stu's Mom asked him how he likes the budgie she got him for X-mas?
Stu: It was great but not much meat on it.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Reads yesterday's horoscope just to check if she can get a do-over.