Confession time: I am a virgin

[Eddie the chug]

I am so ugly I could not even lose my cherry when I went back to the reserve I was adopted from.

No squaw would touch me.

[Shen Li]

I am so ugly I could not even lose my cherry when I went back to the reserve I was adopted from.

No squaw would touch me.

Can you blame them.

[Brent]

I am so ugly I could not even lose my cherry when I went back to the reserve I was adopted from.

No squaw would touch me.

Bring more hand sanitizer next time to get them more fucked up.

[Edward]

Of course y'all are jealous of me. They wealthy, good looking white guy. I honestly believe all of you are some species of brown person like chinese or east indian. Jealous of my whiteness. I am at my vacation property in the Okanagan today. I mowed the lawn and now I am out having lunch before I start working in my garden.

[The Donald]

I want to thank Edward and his fellow Native-Americans for their tremendous support.

My incredible election victory would not have been possible without the support of Indians like Edward.