I Gave Birth Today...

[smell the glove]

...I gave birth.



I gave birth to the ultimate spawn of Satan today...



I didn't create something, with my feet up in those stirrups yelling "whoff whoff whoff" "breathe" "breathe" "breathe", that I can be proud of.



I created something that was the ultimate spawn of Satan, and I had no choice...



From well beyond the gates of hell, did this incarnation originate.



The Devil used my body for his evil purposes...



I had a bowel movement earlier today.



The smell of a thousand corpses, was more like it!



It floated, so the stench not only knocked five years off my life, but everyone around also.



I need an exorcism, to prevent this from happening again.



My eyes were fucking watering.  No fucking joke!

[Renee]

Who are you kidding?...... That's everyday for you.



Alcoholics have nasty shit. It's your gut's way of telling you that you are dying.



No "shit", Mel .......that's the truth. Get help before it's too late.