Today I ordered an "approved screening device."

[Angry White Male]

I only piss the bed when I drink near lethal amounts of alcohol.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Whats the most ya can drink Ace



I could do 30 cans of beer 5%

[Angry White Male]

I can probably handle 18 cans before passing out.  Remember that I weigh in under 200 pounds.

[Gallium]

Whats the most ya can drink Ace



I could do 30 cans of beer 5%

The last time I did 30 odd cans of beer was mid strength 3.5% alc/vol crabbing off a boat all day at the Dawesville Cut in Mandurah. I thought that the mid strength would save me from a hangover. Fucking had a headache from hell the next day...the Blue swimmers were choice but!  ac_biggrin



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[GORDY GAMBINO]

Yeah good crabs them.



Easy to drink piss at sea.

[Anonymous]

...also known as a handheld breathalyzer.  This thing should come in handy at times.



I decided to go with the exact same version that the RCMP now use, which is the the Alco-Sensor FST.  The difference between mine and the RCMP version is that mine will display actual BAC, instead of the three stage "PASS/WARN/FAIL" that the RCMP units are programmed to display.



These things aren't cheap, but I didn't really want an inaccurate 'novelty' item either...



The price of these things?  



$550 US dollars for the device, and about $300 US dollars for the "calibration" accessories, which is essentially a 108 liter SCUBA tank filled with gases of a known alcohol content, which is fed into the device at regular intervals to ensure the readings are correct.



This thing should be a hit!

Why would anyone need that device..



Impaired driving is illegal and dangerous.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Cos he has a 50 tonne truck. And Ace is usually 90 % full of piss, the other 10% is on the bed.



Ace is a piss tank.

[Berry Sweet]

Cause he's fuckin stupid Fashy.



Mel, you should really quit drinking.  You'll reap the benefits...

....you'll lose your fuckin gut...

....your skin tone will look much better and you wont age as fast or look like shit in the morning.....

....your mentality will improve 100%...

....you won't be so fuckin depressed all the time....

....you won't have to spend money on ridiculous shit, like this stupid device you just bought...plus you'll save thousands from not drinking...

....you can be healthy and fit...head to the gym or a jog instead of getting wasted, passed out and piss the couch...

....the list goes on and on....



Alcohol will rot your insides, make you look like shit on the out and kill you.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

I don't drink and look like hansum man ting tongs they tell me

[Angry White Male]

Why would anyone need that device..



Impaired driving is illegal and dangerous.

It's a novelty item for us party people that are in a position to afford such items.



I am in a position to purchase items that perhaps you are not.



Do not question why people buy the things they do, should you have no interest nor ability to purchase such item yourself.

[Angry White Male]

Cause he's fuckin stupid Fashy.



Mel, you should really quit drinking.  You'll reap the benefits...

....you'll lose your fuckin gut...

....your skin tone will look much better and you wont age as fast or look like shit in the morning.....

....your mentality will improve 100%...

....you won't be so fuckin depressed all the time....

....you won't have to spend money on ridiculous shit, like this stupid device you just bought...plus you'll save thousands from not drinking...

....you can be healthy and fit...head to the gym or a jog instead of getting wasted, passed out and piss the couch...

....the list goes on and on....



Alcohol will rot your insides, make you look like shit on the out and kill you.

Look Babes...



My main problem with dating is that I have to go 20 years younger (high school age) to even FIND a woman that's compatible with my looks and physique.



And I'm not fucking joking.  My physique is the same as it was when I was in high school.  My hair is, everything is.



I still wear my Starter jacket for fun.



Just because you fucking hags have blown out 10 kids, and rode every dick from here to Mars, doesn't excuse you from how you age, and how quickly you went downhill after 25.



You want to know the truth?  I have given up on dating completely.  You hags are not even 40, but look 50 or 60.  I'm not even 40, and I look 20.



You hags are generally all fucking land whales.  If I was fat, I would not complain.  I'm not.  I'm a toned 170lbs.  And that no lie!  Most of you hags easily outweigh me, and I'm 5' 11".

[GORDY GAMBINO]

That's impressive Ace. You might want to start moving her stuff into your loom.

[Angry White Male]

Besides, the cost of this unit can be taxed as a business expense.

[Angry White Male]

That's impressive Ace. You might want to start moving her stuff into your loom.

Berry is deaf.  Certifiably deaf.  That's why she gets disability.



She popped out a kid with a chugger.



She lives in a subsidized dump.



Ace doesn't take on these cases.  Ace is a businessman that is happy single.



My ex taught me enough, and she was good looking with no baggage.



Fuck Western women.  Useless fucking cunts.



The first thing they'll see after the first date, is a pre-nup.

[Berry Sweet]

Certifiably deaf?  Like I said Ace, you may want to quit drinking...now you just sound like an extra cheesy Wooderson.  No wonder you're single.