Today I ordered an "approved screening device."

[Angry White Male]

...also known as a handheld breathalyzer.  This thing should come in handy at times.



I decided to go with the exact same version that the RCMP now use, which is the the Alco-Sensor FST.  The difference between mine and the RCMP version is that mine will display actual BAC, instead of the three stage "PASS/WARN/FAIL" that the RCMP units are programmed to display.



These things aren't cheap, but I didn't really want an inaccurate 'novelty' item either...



The price of these things?  



$550 US dollars for the device, and about $300 US dollars for the "calibration" accessories, which is essentially a 108 liter SCUBA tank filled with gases of a known alcohol content, which is fed into the device at regular intervals to ensure the readings are correct.



This thing should be a hit!

[GORDY GAMBINO]

So ya need a machine to tell if ya pissed or not. I wooda spent the money on a mattress protector if I was you.

[Angry White Male]

I already have a mattress protector!



Required to use when I purchased the King Sized mattress, to get the full warranty coverage.



Also comes in handy for when I piss the bed.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Guy in Pattaya shit the bed.



When the ho told me that I said from Aussie right...yes



From Perth...yes



Standing there with his hands on his hips sayen '' this has never happened before''



Class act...555

[Angry White Male]

You shit their God damned bed!



Did you at least leave enough tip for the cleaners to deal with the putrid mess?

[GORDY GAMBINO]

hahahaha nah wasn't me



Now when I piss I get most of it in the bowl. Before when I drank I'm standing there having a piss and I fell out of the room.555.



Never pissed the bed but spewed a few times.

[Angry White Male]

Since I live alone, and am the only one cleaning my shitter, I will admit that I sit down to piss...  Yes, it is true.



I only sit down to piss at home though...  Other peoples shitters aren't my problem.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

and am the only one cleaning my shitter



yo need a wif

[Angry White Male]

Ya, on the lookout for a new one.  However, my standards are high, since I in return provide a very 'comfortable' level of living for my female companion.



With me, the women have it Made in the Shade.  Therefor, my standards must be kept high, to keep out the gutter rats.

[cc]

yo need a wif

oh gaud .. don't start him

[Angry White Male]

oh gaud .. don't start him

Nice to see you posting here, instead of focusing on Muslims.



Sure you don't want to grab some Fish & Chips at Moby Dick's?

[GORDY GAMBINO]

is that kosher ??



beware she is Australian ...worst women on the planet and a radical joo.



Don't mention the war.

[Angry White Male]

The last time I took a trip through White Rock, she threatened to have people kill me.



I'm well aware of CC la Jew's paranoia and temperament!

[Angry White Male]

I was like, "look bitch, I've lived in Langley my entire life, and just because you happen to live 15 minutes away from me doesn't exclude me from traveling the strip."



Got her panties all in a bunch, that I'm her neighbour.



Even threatened to have people kill me!

[Gallium]

Never really pissed the bed until I twisted my nuts in a snowboarding accident. My nuts become one swollen package the size of a bowling ball. Somehow the ensuing infection caused weak bladder control for a month until the antibiotics sorted out the issue. The whole experience was fucked to say the least!