Teenagers - The Truth?

[Anonymous]

I do not have kids, so I cannot speak as a parent. I know as a teen, I did not listen to my parents.

Teenagers think they know better than their parents.

[Renee]

We are rounding out our last month or so of elementary school.  The kids have been registered for high school and all those fun life changes that go with children aging are upon us (much to my chagrin!)  I'm wondering what it's really like to have a couple of teenagers in the house.  Does anyone have any insight they could offer on life with teens?



Hold me, I'm scared.

My son is only twelve, so I can't say from personal experience what two teens at home would be like..



Renee is the expert about that..



Do you mean they are going into senior high?



Is there junior high where you live?

There is no junior high so they are going into high school which is grades 8 to 12.  Both my midgets are still only 12 but they have December birthdays which is why they are starting high school in September.

For the most part your experience is going to be a little difficult. If you are anything like me it's going to be hard to accept that your once little leg huggers are growing up and developing in actual people.



But beyond that I guess you can expect whatever your kids are capable of. Each child is different depending on their character, attitude and upbringing. Of course there are always exceptions so never underestimate the trouble they can get themselves into.



 Just think about your experience in HS and what you went through and you have some of the battle contained. You'll know what to watch for and have a good idea what to expect. The HS experience hasn't changed a hell of a lot since most of us were there. Yes, the way academics are administered may have changed with technology but the overall social dynamic is still basically the same.



There will be relationship trials and tribulations of a level that will be "earth shattering" and even though they will appear stupid and trivial to you, you have to keep cool and try to explain to your kids that after the next 4 years, not one bit of it will amount to a hill of beans. Also you can expect then not to get it until they either get accepted to college or join the workforce.



I've been relatively lucky with my first three....so far...no major issues beyond the usual HS social highs and lows. My girls have never had any major issues or challenges academically or behaviourally. I also kept my girls focused on their non academic interests and luckily those interests were all tied to school in some way. So in many respects, my life as a parent with teens has been pretty smooth, all things considered. As with vehicle mileage, your experience will vary.

[Anonymous]

^What are the ages of the oldest 3?

[Angry White Male]

Come on, seriously now.  I need some advice on parenting teens!

If they are good kids, you leave them alone to follow their own path, which they may just do on their own.



If they are bad kids, you keep a BakeLite rotary phone handy...  The receiver will be useful to ensure compliance.  And once they are 18, you kick them the fuck out.



Kids will not turn out like you think they will...  The ones that are smart, will go on to good things.  The ones that are useless won't.  Parenting has very little effect on the outcome of their children...  It is mostly genetic (smart people are smart, and dumb people are dumb, and this cannot be changed)...

[Renee]

Come on, seriously now.  I need some advice on parenting teens!

If they are good kids, you leave them alone to follow their own path, which they may just do on their own.



If they are bad kids, you keep a BakeLite rotary phone handy...  The receiver will be useful to ensure compliance.  And once they are 18, you kick them the fuck out.



Kids will not turn out like you think they will...  The ones that are smart, will go on to good things.  The ones that are useless won't.  Parenting has very little effect on the outcome of their children...  It is mostly genetic (smart people are smart, and dumb people are dumb, and this cannot be changed)...

This from our resident alcoholic woman hater who has never raised a child, and thinks children are something that only women want to use as a weapon against men....



Your opinion is invalid because it's WRONG. People are not born with an innate sense of good and bad...that's a learned behavior. How a child turns out is as much a product of nurture as it is nature. You're a prime example of that...you grew up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family and you turned out the same. You are an attention seeking little pest because you were neglected by parents that couldn't careless about you. If you had been raised by parents that gave a crap or at least had marginal parenting skills, you would have stood a better chance of turning out somewhat less of a frickin asshole.



Ironically you are too butt blind stupid to even see that simple and obvious fact.



I swear you just look for threads to stick your dumbass nose into just so you can gush over the ignorant response that dribbles out of your self absorbed head....

[Renee]

^What are the ages of the oldest 3?

My oldest just turned 21, the others are 18, and 16.

[Anonymous]

^What are the ages of the oldest 3?

My oldest just turned 21, the others are 18, and 16.

Your oldest is in university?



Is the second oldest going to university in the fall?

[Anonymous]

We are rounding out our last month or so of elementary school.  The kids have been registered for high school and all those fun life changes that go with children aging are upon us (much to my chagrin!)  I'm wondering what it's really like to have a couple of teenagers in the house.  Does anyone have any insight they could offer on life with teens?



Hold me, I'm scared.

My son is only twelve, so I can't say from personal experience what two teens at home would be like..



Renee is the expert about that..



Do you mean they are going into senior high?



Is there junior high where you live?

There is no junior high so they are going into high school which is grades 8 to 12.  Both my midgets are still only 12 but they have December birthdays which is why they are starting high school in September.

For the most part your experience is going to be a little difficult. If you are anything like me it's going to be hard to accept that your once little leg huggers are growing up and developing in actual people.



But beyond that I guess you can expect whatever your kids are capable of. Each child is different depending on their character, attitude and upbringing. Of course there are always exceptions so never underestimate the trouble they can get themselves into.



 Just think about your experience in HS and what you went through and you have some of the battle contained. You'll know what to watch for and have a good idea what to expect. The HS experience hasn't changed a hell of a lot since most of us were there. Yes, the way academics are administered may have changed with technology but the overall social dynamic is still basically the same.



There will be relationship trials and tribulations of a level that will be "earth shattering" and even though they will appear stupid and trivial to you, you have to keep cool and try to explain to your kids that after the next 4 years, not one bit of it will amount to a hill of beans. Also you can expect then not to get it until they either get accepted to college or join the workforce.



I've been relatively lucky with my first three....so far...no major issues beyond the usual HS social highs and lows. My girls have never had any major issues or challenges academically or behaviourally. I also kept my girls focused on their non academic interests and luckily those interests were all tied to school in some way. So in many respects, my life as a parent with teens has been pretty smooth, all things considered. As with vehicle mileage, your experience will vary.

Your first three? Dayum.

[Renee]

^What are the ages of the oldest 3?

My oldest just turned 21, the others are 18, and 16.

Your oldest is in university?



Is the second oldest going to university in the fall?

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

[Anonymous]

^What are the ages of the oldest 3?

My oldest just turned 21, the others are 18, and 16.

Your oldest is in university?



Is the second oldest going to university in the fall?

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

Raising kids sounds really expensive. I have a sister with two kids. Always major expenses and they are a long way from post secondary yet.

[Anonymous]

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

Your oldest daughter is going to be a veterinarian.....wonderful..



My daughter is looking at the health care field or teaching..



She's not quite sixteen yet, so she has time to decide..



My prediction is that my son will get into an indentured apprenticeship and become a journeyman tradesman just like his dad.

[Anonymous]

Raising kids sounds really expensive. I have a sister with two kids. Always major expenses and they are a long way from post secondary yet.

It is Seoul, especially their private school education..



We watch expenses in other areas though..



Our mortgage will be paid off the end of August, so that will help our budget a lot.

[Renee]

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

Your oldest daughter is going to be a veterinarian.....wonderful..



My daughter is looking at the health care field or teaching..



She's not quite sixteen yet, so she has time to decide..



My prediction is that my son will get into an indentured apprenticeship and become a journeyman tradesman just like his dad.

I'm sure your kids will have no trouble doing just fine no matter what they choose to be in life.



Hell, as an Asian parent you won't except anything less...



But seriously, whatever our kids decide to be...all we as parents can do is let them follow their ambitions, guide them as much as they will let us and hope and pray that they are successful...

[Anonymous]

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

Your oldest daughter is going to be a veterinarian.....wonderful..



My daughter is looking at the health care field or teaching..



She's not quite sixteen yet, so she has time to decide..



My prediction is that my son will get into an indentured apprenticeship and become a journeyman tradesman just like his dad.

I'm sure your kids will have no trouble doing just fine no matter what they choose to be in life.



Hell, as an Asian parent you won't except anything less...



But seriously, whatever our kids decide to be...all we as parents can do is let them follow their ambitions, guide them as much as they will let us and hope and pray that they are successful...

I would agree with you Renee, but we don't have unlimited resources..



We will pay for our children's education to the end of an undergraduate degree, but it has to be in something that leads to employment..



It's good you can afford to pay for your daughter to study drama, but it's not an option for us.

[Renee]

Both are in college.



My oldest is finishing her second year at Washington State Univ...she just found out that she got accepted to their pre-vet program a year earlier than she expected.



My second oldest is supposed to be studying criminal justice and forensics at Michigan State....   Unfortunately she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder and is fucking around. I have a feeling she will be going to community college next year until she gets her head right.



My third has another year to go in HS but she wants to go to school for drama...her first choice is probably going to be NYU or Pace Univ.



My ex better keep up the service contracts....these kids are getting really expensive....

Your oldest daughter is going to be a veterinarian.....wonderful..



My daughter is looking at the health care field or teaching..



She's not quite sixteen yet, so she has time to decide..



My prediction is that my son will get into an indentured apprenticeship and become a journeyman tradesman just like his dad.

I'm sure your kids will have no trouble doing just fine no matter what they choose to be in life.



Hell, as an Asian parent you won't except anything less...



But seriously, whatever our kids decide to be...all we as parents can do is let them follow their ambitions, guide them as much as they will let us and hope and pray that they are successful...

I would agree with you Renee, but we don't have unlimited resources..



We will pay for our children's education to the end of an undergraduate degree, but it has to be in something that leads to employment..



It's good you can afford to pay for your daughter to study drama, but it's not an option for us.

Myself and my ex-husband do not have unlimited resources as well. But we both agreed a long time ago that not nurturing a talent that a child shows an aptitude for, is doing that child a great disservice.



I saw it happen with my sister. My sister is an incredibly talented artist. She earned a partial scholarship to Columbia University's fine arts program and my parents treated it like it was a joke. They thought an art degree was a luxury despite the fact that there are endless opportunities in the graphic arts field for employment, if you have talent. They only grudgingly picked up some of the balance of tab and I firmly believe they only did so out of a feeling of obligation.  



She attended school for 2.5 of Columbia's 4 year program and when the money got tight, she listened to all the naysayers and dropped out. I wanted to strangle her.



Now my little sister has always been a little flighty, most artistic people are but not a day goes by where I know she doesn't regret not finishing her degree. If my parents had only shown a little more support, she would have finished and earned her bachelor's and now who knows where she could have gone or accomplished in her life.



My parents did the same with me, only not to as severe a degree. I earned a full athletic scholarship to Rutgers Univ and instead of letting me go into the fine arts program they convinced me to go for liberal arts and become a teacher. Why I listened to them; to this day I have no idea because I rarely ever listened to them before then. But in reality, I'm no more cut out to be a teacher than the man in the moon.



With all due respect, you have to do as you see fit by your children but I can not bring myself to limit my child's legitimate aspirations, even if I have to kill myself to make it happen. My daughter has a talent for acting, music and voice and if theater is where she wants to stake her claim in life, I will do what I can to help make that happen.