Teenagers - The Truth?

[RW]

You have a great and very supportive attitude Renee.  I'm going to put that one in the book.

[Anonymous]

My son has a liberal arts degree. I paid for everything for his entire four years at university in Regina including a car. I was working all over the frickin world and I was not around much when he was growing up. Although I was not impressed he wanted me to pay for his useless hobby degree, I felt a bit guilty about being away all the time and picked up the bill anyway.



He travelled and had odd jobs after he graduated. About two years ago he got a job with the federal civil service and took a year off to travel around Australia right after he completed probation. He came back, was able to return to his job and lives with his Aussie girlfriend in Regina. They are both studying French now and he hopes to get a transfer to Quebec. Good to see at twenty six he is finally learning to stand on his own two pins. I can thank his Aussie girlfriend for that.

[Renee]

You have a great and very supportive attitude Renee.  I'm going to put that one in the book.

Okay, before you go putting anything in books, let me clarify a bit. When I say I will do anything to nurture my child's aspirations, I do have limits in terms of what I will accept as their aspirations.



If a child has a legitimate aptitude, desire or passion for something that truly makes them happy in life then by all mean I will do what I can to help make it happen for them. I'm even willing to give them a generous amount of time to find their place in this world and passion. BUT if any child of mine as aspirations to just float through life working unskilled labor jobs because they are too lazy or too scared to step up and find themselves....then we have a problem and just watch how un-supportive I can be.



I will not stand by while one of my kids pidgin holes themselves into an existence that does not live up to their potential. I believe that anyone who has not even made an attempt to give themselves a leg up in this world is wasting their life. If you are happy standing in front of a cash register for 8 hours a day or flipping burgers at McDonald's or sweeping up vomit in a bar room crapper, then you are either comatose or lying to yourself and no one can make me think differently.



People here have accused me of being a "snob" or an elitist because of that attitude. But if that's what a "snob" is, then you call me a "snob" all day long.

[Anonymous]

Myself and my ex-husband do not have unlimited resources as well. But we both agreed a long time ago that not nurturing a talent that a child shows an aptitude for, is doing that child a great disservice.



I saw it happen with my sister. My sister is an incredibly talented artist. She earned a partial scholarship to Columbia University's fine arts program and my parents treated it like it was a joke. They thought an art degree was a luxury despite the fact that there are endless opportunities in the graphic arts field for employment, if you have talent. They only grudgingly picked up some of the balance of tab and I firmly believe they only did so out of a feeling of obligation.  



She attended school for 2.5 of Columbia's 4 year program and when the money got tight, she listened to all the naysayers and dropped out. I wanted to strangle her.



Now my little sister has always been a little flighty, most artistic people are but not a day goes by where I know she doesn't regret not finishing her degree. If my parents had only shown a little more support, she would have finished and earned her bachelor's and now who knows where she could have gone or accomplished in her life.



My parents did the same with me, only not to as severe a degree. I earned a full athletic scholarship to Rutgers Univ and instead of letting me go into the fine arts program they convinced me to go for liberal arts and become a teacher. Why I listened to them; to this day I have no idea because I rarely ever listened to them before then. But in reality, I'm no more cut out to be a teacher than the man in the moon.



With all due respect, you have to do as you see fit by your children but I can not bring myself to limit my child's legitimate aspirations, even if I have to kill myself to make it happen. My daughter has a talent for acting, music and voice and if theater is where she wants to stake her claim in life, I will do what I can to help make that happen.

If one of my kids has an artistic gift, I would encourage them to pursue..



But, it's important to my husband and I they have something to fall back on..



I know of talented musicians and athletes that were not able to earn their living from their gift and are now living in poverty.

[RW]

You have a great and very supportive attitude Renee.  I'm going to put that one in the book.

Okay, before you go putting anything in books, let me clarify a bit. When I say I will do anything to nurture my child's aspirations, I do have limits in terms of what I will accept as their aspirations.



If a child has a legitimate aptitude, desire or passion for something that truly makes them happy in life then by all mean I will do what I can to help make it happen for them. I'm even willing to give them a generous amount of time to find their place in this world and passion. BUT if any child of mine as aspirations to just float through life working unskilled labor jobs because they are too lazy or too scared to step up and find themselves....then we have a problem and just watch how un-supportive I can be.



I will not stand by while one of my kids pidgin holes themselves into an existence that does not live up to their potential. I believe that anyone who has not even made an attempt to give themselves a leg up in this world is wasting their life. If you are happy standing in front of a cash register for 8 hours a day or flipping burgers at McDonald's or sweeping up vomit in a bar room crapper, then you are either comatose or lying to yourself and no one can make me think differently.



People here have accused me of being a "snob" or an elitist because of that attitude. But if that's what a "snob" is, then you call me a "snob" all day long.

I definitely wasn't under the impression that your comment meant letting kids coast through life.  I just like this attitude of supporting their aptitudes and encouraging them to follow their curiousities and passions.



It's perfectly fine to be a snob in this case :)

[Renee]

Myself and my ex-husband do not have unlimited resources as well. But we both agreed a long time ago that not nurturing a talent that a child shows an aptitude for, is doing that child a great disservice.



I saw it happen with my sister. My sister is an incredibly talented artist. She earned a partial scholarship to Columbia University's fine arts program and my parents treated it like it was a joke. They thought an art degree was a luxury despite the fact that there are endless opportunities in the graphic arts field for employment, if you have talent. They only grudgingly picked up some of the balance of tab and I firmly believe they only did so out of a feeling of obligation.  



She attended school for 2.5 of Columbia's 4 year program and when the money got tight, she listened to all the naysayers and dropped out. I wanted to strangle her.



Now my little sister has always been a little flighty, most artistic people are but not a day goes by where I know she doesn't regret not finishing her degree. If my parents had only shown a little more support, she would have finished and earned her bachelor's and now who knows where she could have gone or accomplished in her life.



My parents did the same with me, only not to as severe a degree. I earned a full athletic scholarship to Rutgers Univ and instead of letting me go into the fine arts program they convinced me to go for liberal arts and become a teacher. Why I listened to them; to this day I have no idea because I rarely ever listened to them before then. But in reality, I'm no more cut out to be a teacher than the man in the moon.



With all due respect, you have to do as you see fit by your children but I can not bring myself to limit my child's legitimate aspirations, even if I have to kill myself to make it happen. My daughter has a talent for acting, music and voice and if theater is where she wants to stake her claim in life, I will do what I can to help make that happen.

If one of my kids has an artistic gift, I would encourage them to pursue..



But, it's important to my husband and I they have something to fall back on..



I know of talented musicians and athletes that were not able to earn their living from their gift and are now living in poverty.

Well if they can't make a living that's their own fault.



You can always do something to pay the bills. I'm living proof of that. I came out of college with a history degree with a minor in early childhood development. I taught for one year and hated it....with a passion.



I then went to work doing clerical work for a consulting engineer and for Catholic Charities. It wasn't exactly exciting stuff but it paid the bills. I took certificate courses at a local community college in Microsoft office, and ACad, I tapped knowledge from my mom who is a CPA and learned bookkeeping and basic accounting. I learned all the office skills that would later allow my husband and I to run a successful business.



I'm still taking courses to further my education only now they are on line. About 5 months ago, I earned my associates PHR certification and am now working toward my full SPHR.



Education should never end or else you stagnate professionally as well as personally.



When a child goes off to college to major in something like a fine arts degree, you as a responsible parent, need to encourage them to minor in something that they can use as a backup. It's also your responsibility to instill in them the idea that you never stop learning. In fact many professional settings nowadays require that you continue your education if you want to climb up the ladder and continue to grow professionally.

[Anonymous]

Well if they can't make a living that's their own fault.



You can always do something to pay the bills. I'm living proof of that. I came out of college with a history degree with a minor in early childhood development. I taught for one year and hated it....with a passion.



I then went to work doing clerical work for a consulting engineer and for Catholic Charities. It wasn't exactly exciting stuff but it paid the bills. I took certificate courses at a local community college in Microsoft office, and ACad, I tapped knowledge from my mom who is a CPA and learned bookkeeping and basic accounting. I learned all the office skills that would later allow my husband and I to run a successful business.



I'm still taking courses to further my education only now they are on line. About 5 months ago, I earned my associates PHR certification and am now working toward my full SPHR.



Education should never end or else you stagnate professionally as well as personally.



When a child goes off to college to major in something like a fine arts degree, you as a responsible parent, need to encourage them to minor in something that they can use as a backup. It's also your responsibility to instill in them the idea that you never stop learning. In fact many professional settings nowadays require that you continue your education if you want to climb up the ladder and continue to grow professionally.

There are is a finite number of positions on professional hockey team for example, so despite having talent, it may not be enough to get a pro contract..



A woman in my church is a terrific artist, but not good enough to earn a living from her paintings..



Thankfully she had a degree in addictions counselling and now a MA that she could help support her family..



I agree, education no longer ends when one is awarded an undergraduate degree, but when we're paying, we demand it be in something that gives our children a real occupation..



I should add that when my children are into occupations and able to support themselves, I will enroll in an online university program and hopefully earn a BA.

[Renee]

Well if they can't make a living that's their own fault.



You can always do something to pay the bills. I'm living proof of that. I came out of college with a history degree with a minor in early childhood development. I taught for one year and hated it....with a passion.



I then went to work doing clerical work for a consulting engineer and for Catholic Charities. It wasn't exactly exciting stuff but it paid the bills. I took certificate courses at a local community college in Microsoft office, and ACad, I tapped knowledge from my mom who is a CPA and learned bookkeeping and basic accounting. I learned all the office skills that would later allow my husband and I to run a successful business.



I'm still taking courses to further my education only now they are on line. About 5 months ago, I earned my associates PHR certification and am now working toward my full SPHR.



Education should never end or else you stagnate professionally as well as personally.



When a child goes off to college to major in something like a fine arts degree, you as a responsible parent, need to encourage them to minor in something that they can use as a backup. It's also your responsibility to instill in them the idea that you never stop learning. In fact many professional settings nowadays require that you continue your education if you want to climb up the ladder and continue to grow professionally.

There are is a finite number of positions on professional hockey team for example, so despite having talent, it may not be enough to get a pro contract..



A woman in my church is a terrific artist, but not good enough to earn a living from her paintings..



Thankfully she had a degree in addictions counselling and now a MA that she could help support her family..



I agree, education no longer ends when one is awarded an undergraduate degree, but when we're paying, we demand it be in something that gives our children a real occupation..



I should add that when my children are into occupations and able to support themselves, I will enroll in an online university program and hopefully earn a BA.

My advice to you is....don't wait that long.



You're realistically looking at at 8 years before your 16 year old daughter becomes self sufficient to a degree where she can survive on her own. I think you and I are pretty close in age and IMHO, that's too long to wait to pursue a post secondary education.

[Anonymous]

I studied mechanical engineering in university for a year before dropping out at the start of the second year. I got lucky and was able to find something that allowed me a good middle class life. But, I still wish I had successfully completed my studies.

[Sikh Sidhu]

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[Sikh Sidhu]

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[Angry White Male]

Your opinion is invalid because it's WRONG.

My opinion is valid. Plenty of people became hugely successful, despite having a difficult upbringing.



On the flipside, plenty of people became useless bums, junkies, and criminals, even though they had a good upbringing and every opportunity available to them.



My opinion is valid because I am of the belief that upbringing and/or parenting is somewhat overrated in the whole scheme of how a person eventually 'turns out.'

[Anonymous]

.

Hello Sikh Sidhu.

 ac_hithere

[Anonymous]

Well if they can't make a living that's their own fault.



You can always do something to pay the bills. I'm living proof of that. I came out of college with a history degree with a minor in early childhood development. I taught for one year and hated it....with a passion.



I then went to work doing clerical work for a consulting engineer and for Catholic Charities. It wasn't exactly exciting stuff but it paid the bills. I took certificate courses at a local community college in Microsoft office, and ACad, I tapped knowledge from my mom who is a CPA and learned bookkeeping and basic accounting. I learned all the office skills that would later allow my husband and I to run a successful business.



I'm still taking courses to further my education only now they are on line. About 5 months ago, I earned my associates PHR certification and am now working toward my full SPHR.



Education should never end or else you stagnate professionally as well as personally.



When a child goes off to college to major in something like a fine arts degree, you as a responsible parent, need to encourage them to minor in something that they can use as a backup. It's also your responsibility to instill in them the idea that you never stop learning. In fact many professional settings nowadays require that you continue your education if you want to climb up the ladder and continue to grow professionally.

There are is a finite number of positions on professional hockey team for example, so despite having talent, it may not be enough to get a pro contract..



A woman in my church is a terrific artist, but not good enough to earn a living from her paintings..



Thankfully she had a degree in addictions counselling and now a MA that she could help support her family..



I agree, education no longer ends when one is awarded an undergraduate degree, but when we're paying, we demand it be in something that gives our children a real occupation..



I should add that when my children are into occupations and able to support themselves, I will enroll in an online university program and hopefully earn a BA.

My advice to you is....don't wait that long.



You're realistically looking at at 8 years before your 16 year old daughter becomes self sufficient to a degree where she can survive on her own. I think you and I are pretty close in age and IMHO, that's too long to wait to pursue a post secondary education.

That's the advice my mother gave me..



But, I don't want to spend money on myself when our priority is our children's education..



I do not need a degree, I want one.

[Anonymous]

Well if they can't make a living that's their own fault.



You can always do something to pay the bills. I'm living proof of that. I came out of college with a history degree with a minor in early childhood development. I taught for one year and hated it....with a passion.



I then went to work doing clerical work for a consulting engineer and for Catholic Charities. It wasn't exactly exciting stuff but it paid the bills. I took certificate courses at a local community college in Microsoft office, and ACad, I tapped knowledge from my mom who is a CPA and learned bookkeeping and basic accounting. I learned all the office skills that would later allow my husband and I to run a successful business.



I'm still taking courses to further my education only now they are on line. About 5 months ago, I earned my associates PHR certification and am now working toward my full SPHR.



Education should never end or else you stagnate professionally as well as personally.



When a child goes off to college to major in something like a fine arts degree, you as a responsible parent, need to encourage them to minor in something that they can use as a backup. It's also your responsibility to instill in them the idea that you never stop learning. In fact many professional settings nowadays require that you continue your education if you want to climb up the ladder and continue to grow professionally.

There are is a finite number of positions on professional hockey team for example, so despite having talent, it may not be enough to get a pro contract..



A woman in my church is a terrific artist, but not good enough to earn a living from her paintings..



Thankfully she had a degree in addictions counselling and now a MA that she could help support her family..



I agree, education no longer ends when one is awarded an undergraduate degree, but when we're paying, we demand it be in something that gives our children a real occupation..



I should add that when my children are into occupations and able to support themselves, I will enroll in an online university program and hopefully earn a BA.

My advice to you is....don't wait that long.



You're realistically looking at at 8 years before your 16 year old daughter becomes self sufficient to a degree where she can survive on her own. I think you and I are pretty close in age and IMHO, that's too long to wait to pursue a post secondary education.

That's the advice my mother gave me..



But, I don't want to spend money on myself when our priority is our children's education..



I do not need a degree, I want one.

Whenever you decide to return to full time studies, I am sure you will be successful.