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Posted by Anonymous
- July 05, 2020, 12:49:55 AM
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
There's just no way I can make that happen... I pull sheets of paper off the roll like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes it pays to be frugal, but just not in this case! Sometimes I'll fold it three or four times over, but only use it once! Wasteful, I know, but old habits are hard to break...
Lol I was the same way til my great grandfather got mad at me for doing that lol. He was a frugal guy. Hell he use to collect rain water in jugs, and thats what we had to wash our hands with lol.
Be thankful he didn't make you wipe the way the army does while out on manouvers. Tearing a hole in the folded sheet, poking the finger through to get the bits inside the freckle that paper misses, then folding the sheet over the finger to remove as much shit as possible from your digit and using the tiny wedge you tore off to clean beneath your fingernail.
All the dogfaces do it, some enjoy it so much they even give their finger an extra wiggle while it's up there, just ask Benzover.
Posted by Frood
- July 04, 2020, 10:22:06 AM
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
There's just no way I can make that happen... I pull sheets of paper off the roll like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes it pays to be frugal, but just not in this case! Sometimes I'll fold it three or four times over, but only use it once! Wasteful, I know, but old habits are hard to break...
Lol I was the same way til my great grandfather got mad at me for doing that lol. He was a frugal guy. Hell he use to collect rain water in jugs, and thats what we had to wash our hands with lol.
My inlaws still have big concrete water tanks to collect the runoff winter rains, so they can drink and shower through the dry months...
No filters bar a leaf mesh screen near the entrance...
Posted by Blazor
- July 04, 2020, 10:11:12 AM
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
There's just no way I can make that happen... I pull sheets of paper off the roll like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes it pays to be frugal, but just not in this case! Sometimes I'll fold it three or four times over, but only use it once! Wasteful, I know, but old habits are hard to break...
Lol I was the same way til my great grandfather got mad at me for doing that lol. He was a frugal guy. Hell he use to collect rain water in jugs, and thats what we had to wash our hands with lol.
Posted by Anonymous
- July 04, 2020, 03:43:21 AM
I'm sorry you feel that way! I know Guest posting can be confusing for people that aren't used to it. Even the Admin and Mods were in complete confusion for a while (and may still be), but it is what it is! Just remember that not everything is as it appears!
It sure confuses the fuck out of Jersey Gurl. Mind you, he often thinks it's me posting at him from various registered accounts... probably from getting dropped on his head too many times at childbirth I imagine.
Posted by cc
- July 04, 2020, 02:50:55 AMPosted by Anonymous
- July 04, 2020, 02:07:59 AM
Great thread Mel.
Good thing you're here to clog the board with the forum equivalent of Charmin toilet paper.
Only thing is we all know you wipe your funky ass with your barehand and lick your fingers when you're done.
Mel likes to let us know about his bathroom habits........he's single by the way.
Posted by Anonymous
- July 03, 2020, 09:14:56 PMPosted by Biggie Smiles
- July 03, 2020, 09:06:40 PM
Great thread Mel.
Thanks. Sharing knowledge is always a very admirable thing to do!
Oh, and you're not actually communicating with the real 'Mel' in that Admin thread... That's another poster!
who knew?
You're both equally hopeless and dreadfully obtuse
Posted by Anonymous
- July 03, 2020, 09:02:03 PM
Great thread Mel.
Thanks. Sharing knowledge is always a very admirable thing to do!
Oh, and you're not actually communicating with the real 'Mel' in that Admin thread... That's another poster!
Posted by Biggie Smiles
- July 03, 2020, 08:52:41 PMGood thing you're here to clog the board with the forum equivalent of Charmin toilet paper.
Only thing is we all know you wipe your funky ass with your barehand and lick your fingers when you're done.
Posted by Anonymous
- July 03, 2020, 08:50:50 PM
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
There's just no way I can make that happen... I pull sheets of paper off the roll like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes it pays to be frugal, but just not in this case! Sometimes I'll fold it three or four times over, but only use it once! Wasteful, I know, but old habits are hard to break...
Posted by Anonymous
- July 03, 2020, 08:45:57 PM
BTW, maybe you use too much TP. Maybe if your asshole didn't look like 3 pounds of ground chuck, you wouldn't need to use so much paper.
No, I use a lot of paper because I demand a clean ass! Wasn't it a fellow American of yours, Alyssa Milano, that was pushing your nation to use only one (1) square of toilet paper per shit?
Stay shitty with your one square wipe, Renee!
Posted by Anonymous
- July 03, 2020, 02:22:45 PM
You should try pinching off a log while diving...
Is that like pissing in the pool? I've pissed in the pool, but have enough decency not to shit in the pool!
Posted by Blazor
- July 03, 2020, 11:39:08 AM
All y'all have said some pretty funny "shit" lol.
Reminds me of this meme...
Speaking of Charmin, I use to use Charmin, til The Great TP Crisis. I've been using the Kroger brand equivalent to Charmin, and I like it much better. Less linty, and lasts longer.
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
Posted by Frood
- July 03, 2020, 09:49:31 AM
You should try pinching off a log while diving...
Is that like pissing in the pool? I've pissed in the pool, but have enough decency not to shit in the pool! I guess shitting in a river or an open body of water is OK though...
Open sea... dive down, wrap your trunks around your knees and fire away...
...only problem is that your turd is much more buoyant than the surrounding water and depth...so, without gravity to cut the turd off at the exit point, you're an underwater dragon with a shit tail...
..and every time you try to come up for air, you're hugging your sea shit snake...