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Re: Forum gossip thread by Biggie Smiles

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Don't buy Charmin toilet paper...

Started by Anonymous, July 02, 2020, 09:06:55 PM

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Anonymous

July 02, 2020, 09:06:55 PM
It's a massive toilet clogger.  Better have yer plunger handy.  I forgot how bad it was, until I picked up a package of it on sale.  Purex or Royal two-ply won't clog up yer shitter as easily.

cc

#1
July 02, 2020, 09:10:41 PM
I don't know how I'd survive without your sharing your  interest and expertise in shit and things that revolve around it



To me, and I'm sure to many,  you are a savior



With this new knowledge and speaking for myself, Charmin will never touch my bum nor my shitter
I really tried to warn y\'all in 49  .. G. Orwell

Anonymous

#2
July 02, 2020, 09:32:15 PM
I only buy Tiger brand toilet paper.

Frood

#3
July 02, 2020, 09:44:31 PM
Just jump in the shower after... save the trees!
Blahhhhhh...

Anonymous

#4
July 03, 2020, 12:34:21 AM
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369491 time=1593740671 user_id=1676
Just jump in the shower after... save the trees!

Have you ever taken a shit in the shower?  I have!  Let me tell you, it's a heavenly experience...  Warm water running off your back while spraying the most toxic explosive sludge out of the ass into tub...  Pure heaven!

Frood

#5
July 03, 2020, 12:51:37 AM
Quote from: Mel post_id=369504 time=1593750861
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369491 time=1593740671 user_id=1676
Just jump in the shower after... save the trees!

Have you ever taken a shit in the shower?  I have!  Let me tell you, it's a heavenly experience...  Warm water running off your back while spraying the most toxic explosive sludge out of the ass into tub...  Pure heaven!


You should try pinching off a log while diving...
Blahhhhhh...

Anonymous

#6
July 03, 2020, 12:54:29 AM
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369508 time=1593751897 user_id=1676
You should try pinching off a log while diving...

Is that like pissing in the pool?  I've pissed in the pool, but have enough decency not to shit in the pool!  I guess shitting in a river or an open body of water is OK though...

Renee

#7
July 03, 2020, 09:17:55 AM
Quote from: Mel post_id=369504 time=1593750861
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369491 time=1593740671 user_id=1676
Just jump in the shower after... save the trees!

Have you ever taken a shit in the shower?  I have!  Let me tell you, it's a heavenly experience...  Warm water running off your back while spraying the most toxic explosive sludge out of the ass into tub...  Pure heaven!


In college I had a roommate that used to get shitfaced every Friday and Saturday night and she would come back to the dorm, take a shower and sometimes shit herself  in the shower (classy chick).



More than once I caught her trying to push the turds down through the grate that covered the drain. It's commonly referred to as "The Waffle Stomp".



BTW, maybe you use too much TP. Maybe if your asshole didn't look like 3 pounds of ground chuck, you wouldn't need to use so much paper.
\"A man\'s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot-box, the jury-box and the cartridge-box.\"

Frederick Douglass, November 15, 1867.

Frood

#8
July 03, 2020, 09:49:31 AM
Quote from: Mel post_id=369509 time=1593752069
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369508 time=1593751897 user_id=1676
You should try pinching off a log while diving...

Is that like pissing in the pool?  I've pissed in the pool, but have enough decency not to shit in the pool!  I guess shitting in a river or an open body of water is OK though...


Open sea... dive down, wrap your trunks around your knees and fire away...





...only problem is that your turd is much more buoyant than the surrounding water and depth...so, without gravity to cut the turd off at the exit point, you're an underwater dragon with a shit tail...



..and every time you try to come up for air, you're hugging your sea shit snake...
Blahhhhhh...

Blazor

#9
July 03, 2020, 11:39:08 AM
This thread  :roll:



All y'all have said some pretty funny "shit" lol.



Reminds me of this meme...



">









Speaking of Charmin, I use to use Charmin, til The Great TP Crisis. I've been using the Kroger brand equivalent to Charmin, and I like it much better. Less linty, and lasts longer.



Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.
I've come here to chew bubble gum, and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

Anonymous

#10
July 03, 2020, 02:22:45 PM
Quote from: Mel post_id=369509 time=1593752069
Quote from: "Dinky Dazza" post_id=369508 time=1593751897 user_id=1676
You should try pinching off a log while diving...

Is that like pissing in the pool?  I've pissed in the pool, but have enough decency not to shit in the pool!


">

Anonymous

#11
July 03, 2020, 08:45:57 PM
Quote from: Renee post_id=369553 time=1593782275 user_id=156
BTW, maybe you use too much TP. Maybe if your asshole didn't look like 3 pounds of ground chuck, you wouldn't need to use so much paper.

No, I use a lot of paper because I demand a clean ass!  Wasn't it a fellow American of yours, Alyssa Milano, that was pushing your nation to use only one (1) square of toilet paper per shit?



Stay shitty with your one square wipe, Renee!

Anonymous

#12
July 03, 2020, 08:50:50 PM
Quote from: Blazor post_id=369562 time=1593790748 user_id=2221
Mel, you must use TP like my son does, stop! My great grandfather (who survived the Depression) taught me to use 2 squares at a time, and use most the square. Dont get me wrong, the first 2 folded over squares only get one swipe, cause that takes off the bulk. But after that, you dont need much more. I prolly only use 10 squares, and I wipe til its white lol.

There's just no way I can make that happen...  I pull sheets of paper off the roll like there's no tomorrow!  Sometimes it pays to be frugal, but just not in this case!  Sometimes I'll fold it three or four times over, but only use it once!  Wasteful, I know, but old habits are hard to break...   :sad:

Biggie Smiles

#13
July 03, 2020, 08:52:41 PM
Great thread Mel.





Good thing you're here to clog the board with the forum equivalent of Charmin toilet paper.



Only thing is we all know you wipe your funky ass with your barehand and lick your fingers when you're done.

Anonymous

#14
July 03, 2020, 09:02:03 PM
Quote from: "Biggie Smiles" post_id=369695 time=1593823961 user_id=3214
Great thread Mel.

Thanks.  Sharing knowledge is always a very admirable thing to do!



Oh, and you're not actually communicating with the real 'Mel' in that Admin thread...  That's another poster!
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