Quote from: Lokmar on April 14, 2025, 10:05:25 AMMy dad died in the late 90's from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy with arteriosclerosis. He was a mechanic, car salesman, pool hustler, etc. He was very intelligent but not much of a dad or husband. He left my mom when I was about 5 or 6 I think. He slapped her around a fair amount. All his brothers died the same way, late 40's to early 50's.

My mom is still alive. I was down in Florida helping to take care of her after her neck surgery a few months back. She's married to a man that worships the ground she walks on. Really, he's a bit of a doormat. She worked in an office most of her life doing payroll and handling health insurance.

I've got 4 kids. the 2 from my first marriage live in Florida near Orlando and my second 2 are from my second marriage and still live at home, going to college.

I've been blessed to have my second wife who is nothing like my first wife. She's a very calming force in our family and maybe does too much for our kids. She's a great mom. She has a LOT of college education that has helped her land a high paying job which provides us with good health insurance. She's a very sweet person and much better than I ever deserve. I've never yelled at her whereas my ex and I yelled at each other constantly.

I'm told my ex is a much better person now that she's on meds. I still refuse to be around her. I think I might hate her as much today as I did 20 years ago. She always had something to say that would get under my skin. Even picking dinner was a damned fight.

 Oh man I had to talk to my shit fucked ex a few weeks ago. The one that banged my mom and I stabbed with fork?

 The one I slam when you slam yours.

 When my oldest turned 16 I stopped talking to him all together. But a few weeks ago my daughter calls me up to tell me she's gotta fly down to South Carolina because her grandfather..exs dad, has had a major heart attack and needed surgery. He had a full blockage, it was bad.

 To be clear I loved his family. They are wonderful people. I really have no idea how my ex ended up the way he is, with how loving, responsible, hard working his parents always were.

 And it gets me when I see people who had it made with their family...a loving and supportive two parent home...and they are still so fucked up.

 My daughter (who is 21 now) knows how her father is and she manages to have a pretty decent relationship with him. IM the parent she calls when she's help or guidance or support with something ....but she does have a relationship with him and his wife. He also had a daughter with his wife and that kid is 9 right now.  My daughter is the best older sister on earth and she adores her little sisters so it's very important to her to have that with her 9 year old sister. I always included that child in holidays with gifts and we always send her birthday boxes. My daughter is old enough to do that on her own now but I still send cards with money for her. 

 That's about as much contact I've had with him for 5 or so years. I send cards with money to his daughter. And the little girl absolutely is the one who gets it. So he hasn't been robbing his daughter, which I was sure he was going to do. Nope. His wife makes sure that doesn't happen.

 I texted him the night before my daughters flight to tell him we were praying for his father and hope everything goes okay. And he answered and filled me in on everything.  It was not a stressful exchange at all.

 So I'll probably get through my daughters wedding without any major ex incidents.

 Of course this is the same ex who wasted 8k that I had saved working my ass off through high school and college.  Same ex who banged my mom. Same ex who would disappear for days in MY car, same ex who actually threw a brick through my man's car window 20 years ago because he (my ex) was convinced we were fucking (we were not, and let's not touch on the hypocrisy with that one. I SHOULD have been banging him. I'd have been a lot happier).

 So we shall see.

Quote from: caskur on April 16, 2025, 03:23:10 AMYou told me about your dad once DKG how he sent money back to his old country and generously helped people.

Is your dad still alive and what's he up to these days?

What about your mum?

Both my parents are gone now.

Quote from: DKG on April 16, 2025, 07:42:03 AMBoth my parents are gone now.

I am sorry to hear that...

Quote from: Dove on April 16, 2025, 06:08:50 AMOh man I had to talk to my shit fucked ex a few weeks ago. The one that banged my mom and I stabbed with fork?

 The one I slam when you slam yours.

 When my oldest turned 16 I stopped talking to him all together. But a few weeks ago my daughter calls me up to tell me she's gotta fly down to South Carolina because her grandfather..exs dad, has had a major heart attack and needed surgery. He had a full blockage, it was bad.

 To be clear I loved his family. They are wonderful people. I really have no idea how my ex ended up the way he is, with how loving, responsible, hard working his parents always were.

 And it gets me when I see people who had it made with their family...a loving and supportive two parent home...and they are still so fucked up.

 My daughter (who is 21 now) knows how her father is and she manages to have a pretty decent relationship with him. IM the parent she calls when she's help or guidance or support with something ....but she does have a relationship with him and his wife. He also had a daughter with his wife and that kid is 9 right now.  My daughter is the best older sister on earth and she adores her little sisters so it's very important to her to have that with her 9 year old sister. I always included that child in holidays with gifts and we always send her birthday boxes. My daughter is old enough to do that on her own now but I still send cards with money for her. 

 That's about as much contact I've had with him for 5 or so years. I send cards with money to his daughter. And the little girl absolutely is the one who gets it. So he hasn't been robbing his daughter, which I was sure he was going to do. Nope. His wife makes sure that doesn't happen.

 I texted him the night before my daughters flight to tell him we were praying for his father and hope everything goes okay. And he answered and filled me in on everything.  It was not a stressful exchange at all.

 So I'll probably get through my daughters wedding without any major ex incidents.

 Of course this is the same ex who wasted 8k that I had saved working my ass off through high school and college.  Same ex who banged my mom. Same ex who would disappear for days in MY car, same ex who actually threw a brick through my man's car window 20 years ago because he (my ex) was convinced we were fucking (we were not, and let's not touch on the hypocrisy with that one. I SHOULD have been banging him. I'd have been a lot happier).

 So we shall see.

Fucking your mom is crazyshit.com level for sure!!!! I dont know how the hell you get passed that, let alone over it!

My daughter has drank a bit of her moms Kool-Aid in recent years and I think she places the blame equally on both of us. The part that pisses me off tho is she wants me to forgive and make up with my ex. I mean, after my daughters wedding, in which SHE experienced her mom and her moms mom acting like total white trash asshats in church, I'd think she'd know better.

Having children changed her tho and she just wants everyone to get along and for me and my ex to be together at family events so my daughters kids dont start questioning why grandma and grandpa dont speak. She doesnt understand the potential for volatility that creates because grandma is a crazy assed button pusher that doesnt know boundaries. my ex would be likely to say things that would piss my wife off enough to beat her ass...not something I'm looking for at nearly 60. She's so self absorbed or unaware, I could see her asking me to go fix her a plate of food or just generally trash talking me in front of my wife. Its not worth the risk, not even "for the children". I half jokingly asked her, "what if grandpa beats grandma to death in front of the grandkids?" "Will that be traumatic for the grandkids?" 

Quote from: Lokmar on April 16, 2025, 09:43:52 AMFucking your mom is crazyshit.com level for sure!!!! I dont know how the hell you get passed that, let alone over it!

My daughter has drank a bit of her moms Kool-Aid in recent years and I think she places the blame equally on both of us. The part that pisses me off tho is she wants me to forgive and make up with my ex. I mean, after my daughters wedding, in which SHE experienced her mom and her moms mom acting like total white trash asshats in church, I'd think she'd know better.

Having children changed her tho and she just wants everyone to get along and for me and my ex to be together at family events so my daughters kids dont start questioning why grandma and grandpa dont speak. She doesnt understand the potential for volatility that creates because grandma is a crazy assed button pusher that doesnt know boundaries. my ex would be likely to say things that would piss my wife off enough to beat her ass...not something I'm looking for at nearly 60. She's so self absorbed or unaware, I could see her asking me to go fix her a plate of food or just generally trash talking me in front of my wife. Its not worth the risk, not even "for the children". I half jokingly asked her, "what if grandpa beats grandma to death in front of the grandkids?" "Will that be traumatic for the grandkids?" 

 I NEVER "got over it". But I wasn't actually shocked that it happened because they are both garbage people.

 MY mother turned me into sexual competition a long time ago. She hit on my current man when we dated after high school. He HATES her. Absolutely hates her. But he always supported me emotionally in my process having a mother like that. He even tolerated her in his house for two months when we got here.

 Yeah when my daughter gets married it'll be fun that I'm there with my man. He jokes that he should ask my ex for that 800 bucks to repair his busted car window.

 I'm thankful my daughter understands why I divorced her father and she understood this without me even saying a word. We have talked about it and she has enough insight into me as a woman to understand why I couldn't be with him. She knows he was a trash husband

 Your daughter, as an adult, HAS to respect your boundaries with your ex. You can be tolerant and cordial and that's good enough. It's not reasonable for your daughter to expect you and your ex to be buddies now because she has kids and is emotional and sentimental.

 She has to accept and respect those boundaries. She doesn't have to understand why either. She just needs to respect you both enough to accept it.

Quote from: caskur on April 16, 2025, 02:55:05 AMBrent actually my great grandfather was Secretary of the Railway Union. His name was Charles Haynes and he died from an infection from being operated on. He also got a State Funeral and our Premiere and his Labor Cabinet were the pall bearers.

I was a union steward for a year. I didn't like it. I got tired of dealing with other people's problems.

Quote from: Dove on April 16, 2025, 12:05:18 PMI NEVER "got over it". But I wasn't actually shocked that it happened because they are both garbage people.

 MY mother turned me into sexual competition a long time ago. She hit on my current man when we dated after high school. He HATES her. Absolutely hates her. But he always supported me emotionally in my process having a mother like that. He even tolerated her in his house for two months when we got here.

 Yeah when my daughter gets married it'll be fun that I'm there with my man. He jokes that he should ask my ex for that 800 bucks to repair his busted car window.

 I'm thankful my daughter understands why I divorced her father and she understood this without me even saying a word. We have talked about it and she has enough insight into me as a woman to understand why I couldn't be with him. She knows he was a trash husband

 Your daughter, as an adult, HAS to respect your boundaries with your ex. You can be tolerant and cordial and that's good enough. It's not reasonable for your daughter to expect you and your ex to be buddies now because she has kids and is emotional and sentimental.

 She has to accept and respect those boundaries. She doesn't have to understand why either. She just needs to respect you both enough to accept it.

I've made it crystal clear. She can continue to test the waters if she wants, but I'll just be mean about it.

I've made genuine progress tho. At one time, I wanted to live long enough to piss on her grave. Now, I'm not sure if I'd follow through.

Quote from: Lokmar on April 16, 2025, 02:00:38 PMI've made it crystal clear. She can continue to test the waters if she wants, but I'll just be mean about it.

I've made genuine progress tho. At one time, I wanted to live long enough to piss on her grave. Now, I'm not sure if I'd follow through.

 It's a REALLY good feeling when the indifference sets in.

 The most I FEEL about mine is maybe pity. Like he can be so pathetic it's just astounding. It HAS to suck going through life like that. His current wife and I get along really well so it's mostly her I would deal with the most when my daughter was younger.

 I used to feel the same way. Just rage for years when I'd think of him. It would eat at me. So glad I'm past that.  When he finally kicks before me....IF he kicks before me, I'd probably attend his funeral to be there for my daughter. My presence wouldn't disrupt anyone there.

 My daughter went down there for a few years and did school years with her dad. He was with his wife, his parents lived right up the road...literally on the same street, so between his wife and my ex mother in law I felt good about it. They took care of her and she got to be with her dad and his family. She'd come to me for the summer.

 But after a few years she wanted to come back with me, and he threw a massive fit about it. His behavior was so immature it made me sick. Trying to manipulate her to change her mind. I had to only let her talk to him on speaker with me present.

 I just don't understand trying to make HER feel bad and why? Because she wanted her mom? When she wanted to go stay with him I was completely supportive. I didn't want her to feel like shit over it.

 I'm just glad she is such a smart and strong young woman. She's very emotionally intelligent. She's also about to have her bachelor degree in biochemistry and she's 21.

 Hopefully after having these kids I won't go demented but if I do, she's the one that wants me lol.

Quote from: Dove on April 16, 2025, 02:56:11 PMIt's a REALLY good feeling when the indifference sets in.

 The most I FEEL about mine is maybe pity. Like he can be so pathetic it's just astounding. It HAS to suck going through life like that. His current wife and I get along really well so it's mostly her I would deal with the most when my daughter was younger.

 I used to feel the same way. Just rage for years when I'd think of him. It would eat at me. So glad I'm past that.  When he finally kicks before me....IF he kicks before me, I'd probably attend his funeral to be there for my daughter. My presence wouldn't disrupt anyone there.

 My daughter went down there for a few years and did school years with her dad. He was with his wife, his parents lived right up the road...literally on the same street, so between his wife and my ex mother in law I felt good about it. They took care of her and she got to be with her dad and his family. She'd come to me for the summer.

 But after a few years she wanted to come back with me, and he threw a massive fit about it. His behavior was so immature it made me sick. Trying to manipulate her to change her mind. I had to only let her talk to him on speaker with me present.

 I just don't understand trying to make HER feel bad and why? Because she wanted her mom? When she wanted to go stay with him I was completely supportive. I didn't want her to feel like shit over it.

 I'm just glad she is such a smart and strong young woman. She's very emotionally intelligent. She's also about to have her bachelor degree in biochemistry and she's 21.

 Hopefully after having these kids I won't go demented but if I do, she's the one that wants me lol.

Sorry for the morbid curiosity, but how did you find out he banged your mom? Did he do it enough times they finally got caught? Did you try to kill either one of them? For the record, I wouldnt have convicted you. 

Quote from: Lokmar on April 16, 2025, 03:18:55 PMSorry for the morbid curiosity, but how did you find out he banged your mom? Did he do it enough times they finally got caught? Did you try to kill either one of them? For the record, I wouldnt have convicted you. 

 I'm at work right about to be off lunch but when I'm off ill tell the tale lol.

Okay so here is what happened.

My mother is a useless drunk. And this was during the time my grandmother was dying. Grandma died at home on hospice. I was a preschool teacher. Lead. So I had my own classroom. I was 21.

My mother had been married to my sicko step father Fred. They lived 45 minutes north so she was dropped off where my grandmother lived. I had my own place where I lived with my useless bum of a then husband. We had been married about 8 or 9 months.

So my schedule was I'd get up, go to the gym and go to work. Since my mother was a useless drunk, my grandma's sister preferred her fo stay at MY place. So. I let her.

So I'd get up. Go work out. Go to work. My work day ended at 5 but while my grandma was on hospice, I had been able to leave at 1 and leave my class to my assistant and another assistant. Then I'd usually go home and get my mother and go to my aunts. It was on me to deal with the nurse and nurse aids my grandmother had and I was doing a lot of her care.

Well. One day, I woke up and notive they were still awake and drunk. It was like 5am. I was super fucking annoyed. I was already irritated with the both of them because I was doing everything. EVERYTHING. From paying the bills alone, to running errands alone, and even buying their bum asses cigarettes.

And I'm spreading myself SO thin and they just sat fucking up all night drinking. Oh AND they smoked in my house and i HATED that.

I didn't say anything except "better get some sleep before it's time to go see grandma" and left.

I went about my normal day and when I got home she's naked in MY bed zonked out and he was in the shower.

 And I'm not stupid. I just grabbed a bag, threw clothes and my make up and everything I needed in my bag. And I just left. I slammed the door hard enough to knock a hung mirror off the wall and break it. Oh well.

 I drove to grandma's. Told my aunt (grandma's sister so my great aunt). We agreed grandma must never know about this. And I just stayed there for about 4 days. Refused to speak to my mother. Her husband went and picked her up and I went home.

 When I got home he was like "Oh hey baby I was worried about you I love you blah blah" I just put my hands out like "stop" and told him "no. No we are not doing this".

 He then started whining and explaining. He was such a fucking liar. And as he whined and explained, something deep inside of me just kinda broke. Before I really knew what I was doing, I sunk a fucking dinner fork right into his upper arm.

 He yelled. Then he said "okay. Okay I deserved that" and I said "fuck you" and he left. I don't know where he went. But he left.

 The next day I had the locks changed and everything.

 And I'd love to say that was the end. Believe me. But a week later I took a positive pregnancy test 

 I took birth control religiously and I never let him have sex with me without a condom. And I had been distancing from him for several months. I was just wore out. Started realizing everything he says is a lie. I was detaching.

 I did what my aunt wanted and "tried" to make it work but when my daughter was born he was so repulsive to me I filed divorce when she was 2 months old. I just couldn't do it.

 As far as my mother? I mean. She is what she is. I also am sad to say I tried with her pretty hard too and just two years ago I finally washed my hands of her. 

 My grandmother at least got to know that I was pregnant before she died. I protected her from the knowledge that my husband was a complete loser who railed my mother.  Honestly I had to put all my focus on grandma and her death was really hard on me. I was very close with her. I mean...she raised me so it was really hard.

Quote from: Dove on April 16, 2025, 06:33:45 PMOkay so here is what happened.

My mother is a useless drunk. And this was during the time my grandmother was dying. Grandma died at home on hospice. I was a preschool teacher. Lead. So I had my own classroom. I was 21.

My mother had been married to my sicko step father Fred. They lived 45 minutes north so she was dropped off where my grandmother lived. I had my own place where I lived with my useless bum of a then husband. We had been married about 8 or 9 months.

So my schedule was I'd get up, go to the gym and go to work. Since my mother was a useless drunk, my grandma's sister preferred her fo stay at MY place. So. I let her.

So I'd get up. Go work out. Go to work. My work day ended at 5 but while my grandma was on hospice, I had been able to leave at 1 and leave my class to my assistant and another assistant. Then I'd usually go home and get my mother and go to my aunts. It was on me to deal with the nurse and nurse aids my grandmother had and I was doing a lot of her care.

Well. One day, I woke up and notive they were still awake and drunk. It was like 5am. I was super fucking annoyed. I was already irritated with the both of them because I was doing everything. EVERYTHING. From paying the bills alone, to running errands alone, and even buying their bum asses cigarettes.

And I'm spreading myself SO thin and they just sat fucking up all night drinking. Oh AND they smoked in my house and i HATED that.

I didn't say anything except "better get some sleep before it's time to go see grandma" and left.

I went about my normal day and when I got home she's naked in MY bed zonked out and he was in the shower.

 And I'm not stupid. I just grabbed a bag, threw clothes and my make up and everything I needed in my bag. And I just left. I slammed the door hard enough to knock a hung mirror off the wall and break it. Oh well.

 I drove to grandma's. Told my aunt (grandma's sister so my great aunt). We agreed grandma must never know about this. And I just stayed there for about 4 days. Refused to speak to my mother. Her husband went and picked her up and I went home.

 When I got home he was like "Oh hey baby I was worried about you I love you blah blah" I just put my hands out like "stop" and told him "no. No we are not doing this".

 He then started whining and explaining. He was such a fucking liar. And as he whined and explained, something deep inside of me just kinda broke. Before I really knew what I was doing, I sunk a fucking dinner fork right into his upper arm.

 He yelled. Then he said "okay. Okay I deserved that" and I said "fuck you" and he left. I don't know where he went. But he left.

 The next day I had the locks changed and everything.

 And I'd love to say that was the end. Believe me. But a week later I took a positive pregnancy test 

 I took birth control religiously and I never let him have sex with me without a condom. And I had been distancing from him for several months. I was just wore out. Started realizing everything he says is a lie. I was detaching.

 I did what my aunt wanted and "tried" to make it work but when my daughter was born he was so repulsive to me I filed divorce when she was 2 months old. I just couldn't do it.

 As far as my mother? I mean. She is what she is. I also am sad to say I tried with her pretty hard too and just two years ago I finally washed my hands of her. 

 My grandmother at least got to know that I was pregnant before she died. I protected her from the knowledge that my husband was a complete loser who railed my mother.  Honestly I had to put all my focus on grandma and her death was really hard on me. I was very close with her. I mean...she raised me so it was really hard.

OOF!!!! I have to doubt that was the first time. Pretty fucking lazy and stupid to pass out naked in YOUR bed while he's in the shower. That screams of people who have grown lazy after doing that shit multiple times.

Does his current wife know he fucked your mom?

Quote from: caskur on April 16, 2025, 02:58:06 AMTell me 10 of your favourite things about having a farm.

How many brothers and sisters do you have?

I am the second oldest of four kids. I have an older sister and one younger sister and one younger brother.

You are putting old Herman on the spot. I don't have a ten point checklist but I can tell you I love the lifestyle. I don't punch a clock like I did when I worked in the international oilpatch.

I love the land like it's my own kingdom. I like raising crops and livestock. I like raising my own food. It is a Goddamn rewarding job that I cannot put into words. Especially when I have had a few thimbles of barrel wash.

Quote from: Lokmar on April 16, 2025, 06:42:11 PMOOF!!!! I have to doubt that was the first time. Pretty fucking lazy and stupid to pass out naked in YOUR bed while he's in the shower. That screams of people who have grown lazy after doing that shit multiple times.

Does his current wife know he fucked your mom?

 Probably. Her and I have never discussed my marriage to him. But she has always treated me with respect, so I treat her with respect.

 I do know she knows he is a liar.

 If she ever asks me questions, of course I'd be honest with her.

 But when her and I interact, it's about the kids involved. My daughter and her daughter. I always wanted my daughters little sister to feel as involved as possible. I would absolutely allow the girl over to play with my youngest if they lived here in MI. They are the same age. 8 lol.

 They also know about eachother and call eachotner "bonus sisters". They are not related but they both have the same big sister lol.

 His wife is some big wig at a factory she's worked in for like 25 years. My ex? He bought a fucking ice cream truck and that's what he does.
 
 His wife is gorgeous. My ex manages to find and land some gorgeous and decent women....and then fucks them all up. His appeal back when I was the fool, was that he IS funny. He will have you laughing so hard you can't breath. He also rebuilds classic cars. Was fit.

 His wife did tell me that it pisses him off that I'm still stunning and he is a chonky old fart    like he WANTED me to get all fat and ugly. Isn't that fucked up?

 He is the one who cheated with everyone including my mother. He lied constantly. He blew through all my savings. He did A LOT of damage to my life in the two years we were legally married and he still blames me for leaving. To this very day, he has no compassion for the pain he had caused me.

 When I was leaving him and filing divorce, he was calling my aunts house (I went and lived with her, and she helped me take care of my baby) all hours of the night crying and threatening suicide. He was telling me I could even fuck other men. 

 He told that IM the one who REALLY cheated because I had feelings (that I never acted on, btw) for my man. The one I'm with now. And I was the cheater because even though he was fucking everyone...he said he never "gave anyone your feelings".

 So because he had no feelings for anyone he fucked, he didn't think that was bad. He only had "feelings" for me. Like I'm supposed to feel special because, while everyone gets to ride his dick...at least he only loves me, right?

 And he said I could also go and fuck whoever I wanted. Buf because I had feelings for my man here, that was the real cheating. 

 It made me so sick that he would even be okay with me having sex with other men. He was begging me to stay married in an "open marriage". Which I find revolting.

 He drove to my man's (where I'm sitting right now)....cozy quite middle class subdivision, and threw a brick through my man's window because he was convinced I was here. I wasn't even here.

 After he threatened suicide for the hundredth time I called the police and they went and busted in the house and took him into 72 hour psych observation.  Which infuriated his mother until she found out WHY I did it.  She was so disgusted and pissed at him she threw him out of her house.

 So my ex can spend the whole day balls deep in my mother, in a bed I bought. On high thread count sheets that I bought. In an apartment I'm paying the rent and ultities for. Eat the food I bought and then smoke cigarettes I bought for them. INSIDE my apartment knowing I don't want them smoking inside. I had two parrots and and elderly cat ffs. I was a preschool teacher...I didn't want to be stinking like fuckinf cigarettes at work. Or anywhere really but especially at work.

 I don't know if it was the first time. They both said it was. And honestly I believe my mother because she is a completely shit bag yes...but she will tell the truth about her shit baggery.  They both treated me like a fucking doormat. And to be fair, I kind of was.

 I'm not anymore.

 And that isn't even the worst thing she has done to me. She turned on me hard after she went to rehab and started lashing out, sending me abusive text messages all hours of the night. She accused me of lying about my rape (which she knows for fact happened. I was in the hospital for two weeks and then placed in psych treatment inpatient for almost 2 years due to my PTSD. I was 14. You can't exactly fake that. Her saying that when she KNOWS what I went through, really is what hurt me the most out of everything she has done)

 Bahaha. I should dig out her psychotic text messages and show them to you. They are unhinged. My man still quotes them occasionally for the laughs lol.

 Her husband was also a drunk but a functioning one so he worked still. He knew what she did.

 She once fucked the cable guy too and I am NOT joking when I tell you his name was Franco

Quote from: Dove on April 16, 2025, 07:30:28 PMProbably.

OK, you win craziest mother of the universe award! Thats worse than my ex stealing my daughters identity and opening a charge account!

Fucking WOW!!!!!!