BC Park Rangers...

[Blurt]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

[Anonymous]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

 

[Anonymous]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

I need to get that surgically welded one of these days...  Then the problem will be fixed.  The problem is intermittent though, so it's no problem until it decides to become a problem...

[Anonymous]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

I need to get that surgically welded one of these days...  Then the problem will be fixed.  The problem is intermittent though, so it's no problem until it decides to become a problem...

Is it worse when you drink too much alcohol?

[Anonymous]

Is it worse when you drink too much alcohol?

Nah...  Not alcohol related really.

[Anonymous]

Is it worse when you drink too much alcohol?

Nah...  Not alcohol related really.

You haven't seen a doctor about it?

[Blurt]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

I need to get that surgically welded one of these days...  Then the problem will be fixed.  The problem is intermittent though, so it's no problem until it decides to become a problem...

I was going to say that such a procedure might have a negative impact on your sex life but, seeing as your sex life is itself intermittent, you should be good to go.

[Anonymous]

Mel, you can't even properly tend to your own bloodied anus.



Yo're not Park Ranger material.



(And, no, ensuring that there's a fresh roll of TP in the wooden outhouse is not enough to care for a bloodied anus.)

I need to get that surgically welded one of these days...  Then the problem will be fixed.  The problem is intermittent though, so it's no problem until it decides to become a problem...

I was going to say that such a procedure might have a negative impact on your sex life but, seeing as your sex life is itself intermittent, you should be good to go.

 

[Anonymous]

You haven't seen a doctor about it?

Of course I have.  Two Doktors, infact.  One at the Walk-In to diagnose, and another at the ER to slice & dice the problem!  Ketamine is a mind-blowing anesthetic, by the way!



That said, only a specialist can weld the problem up for good.  Basically one little blood vessel that feeds my occasional problem needs to get soldered shut, and that is that!

[Anonymous]

You haven't seen a doctor about it?

Of course I have.  Two Doktors, infact.  One at the Walk-In to diagnose, and another at the ER to slice & dice the problem!  Ketamine is a mind-blowing anesthetic, by the way!



That said, only a specialist can weld the problem up for good.  Basically one little blood vessel that feeds my occasional problem needs to get soldered shut, and that is that!

Are you waiting for that procedure?

[Anonymous]

Are you waiting for that procedure?

I just have to find a Doktor here, I guess any Doktor would do, and get a referral from him to see a specialist that can do the procedure.  I don't think GP's handle procedures like this.



All the towns are small around here, so not sure if I'd get sent to a specialist in Trail, or maybe even Kelowna?  Not sure yet...

[Anonymous]

Are you waiting for that procedure?

I just have to find a Doktor here, I guess any Doktor would do, and get a referral from him to see a specialist that can do the procedure.  I don't think GP's handle procedures like this.



All the towns are small around here, so not sure if I'd get sent to a specialist in Trail, or maybe even Kelowna?  Not sure yet...

A proctologist will sew up your arse

[Anonymous]

I need a Doktor that specializes in surgically soldering a blood vessel closed next to me asshole!  Should be a relatively easy job for a specialist, I presume...



Who knows what the waiting lists are like though...  Guess I'll eventually find out!

[Anonymous]

I need a Doktor that specializes in surgically soldering a blood vessel closed next to me asshole!  Should be a relatively easy job for a specialist, I presume...



Who knows what the waiting lists are like though...  Guess I'll eventually find out!

It will be an asshole doctor.

[Vancouver]

empty trash bins at park facilities, put new toilet paper on the little spools at park facilities, wave at tourists and answer their questions...

Listen Mel, everybody knows that those outhouses are the shit. The most stinky dirty disgusting toilets. You'll need to do some scrubbing.