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The Redneck Guide to Losing Weight Without Giving Up Barrel Wash

Started by Anonymous, January 28, 2017, 12:23:08 AM

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Anonymous

Quote from: "Herman"
Quote from: "Fashionista"I knew nothing about the redneck culture before Herman joined us..



Thank you for sharing your traditions with us Herman.

 :smiley_thumbs_up_yellow_ani:

It's a frickin shame this country wastes so much money on Indian culture when we so few Canadians are celebrating the vast contributions to confederation of rednecks/white trash. Think of all the cops, jail guards, Cash Canada employees and addictions counsellors who owe their livelihoods to us. We give contribute so much and ask for so little in return.

It's a fascinating culture Herman.

 ac_unsure

Anonymous

I'm giving serious consideration to launching a redneck alternative to Jenny Craig. But, like Jenny Craig fees will not include barrel wash, baloney and mustard.

RW

Beware of Gaslighters!

Berry Sweet


Aryan

Quote from: "Fashionista"I knew nothing about the redneck culture before Herman joined us..



Thank you for sharing your traditions with us Herman.

 :smiley_thumbs_up_yellow_ani:


I know drinking in the morning and throughout the day is the norm among Eastern Europeans, not sure about rednecks, where's Deadskin?   I know he drinks a lot but not sure what time he cracks open the bourbon.  :laugh:

Berry Sweet

If I have a drink, its only in the evenings...I dont ever drink during the day....I did one time in the summer...I was with friends and I got tippy...it felt really odd to be doing that during the day.

Anonymous

Quote from: "Herman"I am the most fit right that I have been in years. People ask me. Herm what is your secret?



Being Ukrainian, I love my food and being a redneck I love my hooch. There had to be a way of losing weight without turning into some West coast latte sipping fairy. So, I created a few pointers that Jenny Craig herself would be jealous of.



1.Get up no later than five am.

2. Down a gallon of strong coffee and no food.

3. Go outside and start right in to the hardest jobs on the farm before it gets hot out.

4. Don't drink your first beer until 9 am and drink it slowly.

5. Next beer break is at 11 am. Drink this one a little faster.

6. 12:30 third beer break.

7. At 1:30 put a half dozen perogies in the pan and crack a beer while waiting for them to cook. Crack another one while eating.

8. No more beer breaks until 4 pm.

9. At six pm fire up the bbq and throw a venison Kolbassa ring on. Crack a beer while waiting and text the old lady to bring you out the mustard, onions and two whole wheat sausage buns. By the time the old lady brings that to you, you are ready for another can of beer. Guzzle it down and then tie into the sausages.

10. Work another hour, put your tools away, gather all the beer cans up and head inside and clean up.

11. Watch the news, check TBC, and then fill your glass with barrel wash.

12. Fill your glass with swish about three more times and then hit the hay and repeat tomorrow.



One important note; don't smoke too much dope. It makes me hungry and I work less too.

Hetman, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don't live like this? If you do, you will not live a long life.

Anonymous

Quote from: "Herman"I'm giving serious consideration to launching a redneck alternative to Jenny Craig. But, like Jenny Craig fees will not include barrel wash, baloney and mustard.

White people will eat anything.

Aryan

Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Herman"I'm giving serious consideration to launching a redneck alternative to Jenny Craig. But, like Jenny Craig fees will not include barrel wash, baloney and mustard.

White people will eat anything.


Right that does it, you're going over my knee again for all this whitey bashing!  :2i760jm:

Anonymous

Quote from: "SCOUSE"
Quote from: "Shen Li"
Quote from: "Herman"I'm giving serious consideration to launching a redneck alternative to Jenny Craig. But, like Jenny Craig fees will not include barrel wash, baloney and mustard.

White people will eat anything.


Right that does it, you're going over my knee again for all this whitey bashing!  :2i760jm:

She'll probably enjoy it.

Anonymous

Quote from: "Berry Sweet"If I have a drink, its only in the evenings...I dont ever drink during the day....I did one time in the summer...I was with friends and I got tippy...it felt really odd to be doing that during the day.

I had cocktails during the day when I was in Cuba. It is all inclusive and I want to get my money's worth.

Berry Sweet

If you stop drinking booze...I can guarantee you will lose weight within a few months.  Your skin tone will perk up and your eyes will twinkle...booze is what makes people fat.  Too much sugar and carbs in it...people drink this shit...they can consume 1000+ calories on the drinks they drink, then they eat crap food on top of it...it shows...people who drink a lot have bellies and their faces look bloated.

Twenty Dollars

Quote from: "JOE"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "Herman"I am the most fit right that I have been in years. People ask me. Herm what is your secret?



Being Ukrainian, I love my food and being a redneck I love my hooch. There had to be a way of losing weight without turning into some West coast latte sipping fairy. So, I created a few pointers that Jenny Craig herself would be jealous of.



1.Get up no later than five am.

2. Down a gallon of strong coffee and no food.

3. Go outside and start right in to the hardest jobs on the farm before it gets hot out.

4. Don't drink your first beer until 9 am and drink it slowly.

5. Next beer break is at 11 am. Drink this one a little faster.

6. 12:30 third beer break.

7. At 1:30 put a half dozen perogies in the pan and crack a beer while waiting for them to cook. Crack another one while eating.

8. No more beer breaks until 4 pm.

9. At six pm fire up the bbq and throw a venison Kolbassa ring on. Crack a beer while waiting and text the old lady to bring you out the mustard, onions and two whole wheat sausage buns. By the time the old lady brings that to you, you are ready for another can of beer. Guzzle it down and then tie into the sausages.

10. Work another hour, put your tools away, gather all the beer cans up and head inside and clean up.

11. Watch the news, check TBC, and then fill your glass with barrel wash.

12. Fill your glass with swish about three more times and then hit the hay and repeat tomorrow.



One important note; don't smoke too much dope. It makes me hungry and I work less too.

I don't really know what to say Herman that will not seem judgmental..

I

If Mel ever needs to lose weight, this is a diet he could stick to.


Herman's definitely a case of a guy with too much testosterone floating around inside him.fashionista.



Maybe less red meat and some injection of female hormones might neutralize 'im a bit,



He needs ta mellow out, eh?


Maybe you're confusing testosterone for estrogen? Thinking a little boost of testosterone would help the dude a whole hell of a lot.... Probably not. Wonder how long my post will last?

Anonymous

Quote from: "Twenty Dollars"
Quote from: "JOE"
Quote from: "Fashionista"
Quote from: "Herman"I am the most fit right that I have been in years. People ask me. Herm what is your secret?



Being Ukrainian, I love my food and being a redneck I love my hooch. There had to be a way of losing weight without turning into some West coast latte sipping fairy. So, I created a few pointers that Jenny Craig herself would be jealous of.



1.Get up no later than five am.

2. Down a gallon of strong coffee and no food.

3. Go outside and start right in to the hardest jobs on the farm before it gets hot out.

4. Don't drink your first beer until 9 am and drink it slowly.

5. Next beer break is at 11 am. Drink this one a little faster.

6. 12:30 third beer break.

7. At 1:30 put a half dozen perogies in the pan and crack a beer while waiting for them to cook. Crack another one while eating.

8. No more beer breaks until 4 pm.

9. At six pm fire up the bbq and throw a venison Kolbassa ring on. Crack a beer while waiting and text the old lady to bring you out the mustard, onions and two whole wheat sausage buns. By the time the old lady brings that to you, you are ready for another can of beer. Guzzle it down and then tie into the sausages.

10. Work another hour, put your tools away, gather all the beer cans up and head inside and clean up.

11. Watch the news, check TBC, and then fill your glass with barrel wash.

12. Fill your glass with swish about three more times and then hit the hay and repeat tomorrow.



One important note; don't smoke too much dope. It makes me hungry and I work less too.

I don't really know what to say Herman that will not seem judgmental..

I

If Mel ever needs to lose weight, this is a diet he could stick to.


Herman's definitely a case of a guy with too much testosterone floating around inside him.fashionista.



Maybe less red meat and some injection of female hormones might neutralize 'im a bit,



He needs ta mellow out, eh?


Maybe you're confusing testosterone for estrogen? Thinking a little boost of testosterone would help the dude a whole hell of a lot.... Probably not. Wonder how long my post will last?

It should not be here in the first place, it belongs in RR..



It's a funny thread, but your post is childish and stupid.

Aryan

Quote from: "Berry Sweet"If you stop drinking booze...I can guarantee you will lose weight within a few months.  Your skin tone will perk up and your eyes will twinkle...booze is what makes people fat.  Too much sugar and carbs in it...people drink this shit...they can consume 1000+ calories on the drinks they drink, then they eat crap food on top of it...it shows...people who drink a lot have bellies and their faces look bloated.


Good post. Its criminal the amount of calories which lurk in alcohol....



Drinking spirits is the best way to avoid weight gain if you still wish to drink while attempting to trim up.