Guns are good.

[Frood]

Don't leave the house ever and call the cops if you've been murdered.  Also have your berries humanely farmed instead of hunting them says Bricktop. It's for your own good!  ac_toofunny



What a baby boomer snowflake fruitcake!

[Anonymous]

Nah...all our critters are sweet, friendly, cuddly and tame...



 :001_rolleyes:



I don't relate to bears, it's true.



However, we do have more things that kill you than you do. And the general principle of co-habiting with these critters is to stay well away from where they live. If you happen to have to be in their environment, take appropriate safety precautions (which rarely include carrying a gun). For example, don't fish where salties are known to lurk. If you must go in areas that MIGHT have a saltie around, stay away from the waters edge.



Likewise, be aware of ocean areas where sharks are known to feed, which in our case is pretty much all of it.



And always wear a helmet in forested areas, in case of drop bears.

I knew you would say that.

   

Australia has a lot of poisonous creatures.

[Frood]

I had a pet redback in the corner of the laundry room for months but she's been missing for days now. I hope a Huntsman didn't eat her. :(

[Bricktop]

Seems to be a blight of redbacks lately. They're everywhere. I've seen more in the last few months than in the preceding 5 years.



Even in the house, which is rare.

[Frood]

There's been a huge lack of Whitetails around here lately and the Huntsmans and Wolf Spiders pretty scarce too. Orbs through everywhere. Always getting clotheslined outside.

[Bricktop]

I HATE that!!! Why don't they spin their webs in trees instead of across driveways and verandah posts.



I'm sure those assholes do it purposely.



"Hey, Cyrus...wanna piss those humans off?"



"Sure"



"Spin your web across those pool gates. Get's em every time!!!"



Fuckers.

[Frood]

I hate going out to the vehicle and copping a vertical across the face twice minutes apart in the same damn place, like they're taunting you.

[Bricktop]

They ARE taunting you. As you try to swipe the sticky thread from your face, listen carefully. Somewhere nearby, a couple of Golden Orbs are pissing themselves laughing.

[Frood]

It has to be premeditated, right? No spider can replace a web that quick unless they're doing it on purpose and are perched in the perfect spot to quickly shoot silk the moment you're gone.

[Bricktop]

Of course it is.



These northern hemisphere milksops do not understand spiders as Australians do.

[Frood]

We're hosting a couple of visiting Americans this year for a week. I'm not telling them about the verandah spiders. It will be more fun watching them clutch their faces and breakdance in horror fits.

[Bricktop]

Show them a pic of a Golden Orb afterwards...



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[Frood]

If we pick them up from the airport at night, I'm going into explicit detail about all the poisonous and aggressive biting spiders that can be found in every nook and cranny, then make sure to have the outdoor lights off and not pull into the front driveway.