Babylon Bee, People's Cube etc.

[Anonymous]

This is from "Not the Bee" as it's accurate in detail = NOT Satire

[cc]

This is from "Not the Bee" as it's accurate in detail = NOT Satire

[Anonymous]

This is from "Not the Bee" as it's accurate in detail = NOT Satire

[Anonymous]

This is from "Not the Bee" as it's accurate in detail = NOT Satire

[Thiel]

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/local-carpenter-continues-to-spread-disinformation-and-teachings-deemed-harmful-by-religious-experts">Local Carpenter Continues To Spread Disinformation Deemed Harmful By Religious Experts



JERUSALEM—Religious experts have begun voicing concerns that a local carpenter's disinformation is spreading among Israelites most susceptible to unapproved ideas.



"Visit your nearest synagogue for the latest information on how to obey God. Listen to the experts!" A contingent of authorities in Jewish law spoke out against the carpenter's simple teaching about loving God and your neighbor. "Follow the data—we need tithes, loopholes, and ever-changing rules, not repentant hearts!"



The usually divided Pharisees, Sadducees, and Scribes showed solidarity in fact-checking Jesus's teaching. "We rate Jesus's teaching as 'Needs Context,'" said a spokesman for the group.



Eyewitnesses have confirmed that a group of Independent Fact Checkers followed the carpenter around holding large signs with disclaimers above his head: "SINCE YOUR SERMON INCLUDES INFORMATION ABOUT OBEYING GOD'S LAW, WE'VE ADDED DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST SYNAGOGUE."



At publishing time, the religious experts were conspiring with the government to keep the dangerous disinformation from spreading into Judea, Samaria, or to the uttermost parts of the earth.



]Babylon Bee subscriber Mayday Malone contributed to this report. ]

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/local-carpenter-continues-to-spread-disinformation-and-teachings-deemed-harmful-by-religious-experts">Local Carpenter Continues To Spread Disinformation Deemed Harmful By Religious Experts



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11170-1.jpg">



JERUSALEM—Religious experts have begun voicing concerns that a local carpenter's disinformation is spreading among Israelites most susceptible to unapproved ideas.



"Visit your nearest synagogue for the latest information on how to obey God. Listen to the experts!" A contingent of authorities in Jewish law spoke out against the carpenter's simple teaching about loving God and your neighbor. "Follow the data—we need tithes, loopholes, and ever-changing rules, not repentant hearts!"



The usually divided Pharisees, Sadducees, and Scribes showed solidarity in fact-checking Jesus's teaching. "We rate Jesus's teaching as 'Needs Context,'" said a spokesman for the group.



Eyewitnesses have confirmed that a group of Independent Fact Checkers followed the carpenter around holding large signs with disclaimers above his head: "SINCE YOUR SERMON INCLUDES INFORMATION ABOUT OBEYING GOD'S LAW, WE'VE ADDED DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST SYNAGOGUE."



At publishing time, the religious experts were conspiring with the government to keep the dangerous disinformation from spreading into Judea, Samaria, or to the uttermost parts of the earth.



[ Babylon Bee subscriber Mayday Malone contributed to this report. ]

[cw_]

lol

[Anonymous]

https://server1.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/snomzbznrrt/p2/news/local-carpenter-continues-to-spread-disinformation-and-teachings-deemed-harmful-by-religious-experts">Local Carpenter Continues To Spread Disinformation Deemed Harmful By Religious Experts



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11170-1.jpg">



JERUSALEM—Religious experts have begun voicing concerns that a local carpenter's disinformation is spreading among Israelites most susceptible to unapproved ideas.



"Visit your nearest synagogue for the latest information on how to obey God. Listen to the experts!" A contingent of authorities in Jewish law spoke out against the carpenter's simple teaching about loving God and your neighbor. "Follow the data—we need tithes, loopholes, and ever-changing rules, not repentant hearts!"



The usually divided Pharisees, Sadducees, and Scribes showed solidarity in fact-checking Jesus's teaching. "We rate Jesus's teaching as 'Needs Context,'" said a spokesman for the group.



Eyewitnesses have confirmed that a group of Independent Fact Checkers followed the carpenter around holding large signs with disclaimers above his head: "SINCE YOUR SERMON INCLUDES INFORMATION ABOUT OBEYING GOD'S LAW, WE'VE ADDED DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST SYNAGOGUE."



At publishing time, the religious experts were conspiring with the government to keep the dangerous disinformation from spreading into Judea, Samaria, or to the uttermost parts of the earth.



[ Babylon Bee subscriber Mayday Malone contributed to this report. ]

 

[cc]

I'll bump to next page - got a good biden one

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-repeats-false-claim-he-once-had-an-abortion">Biden Repeats False Claim He Once Had An Abortion



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11223-1.jpg">



WASHINGTON, D.C.—Just days after making an accurate, fact-based claim that MAGA was "the most extreme political organization in recent American history," President Joe Biden fell back into his habit of making false assertions about his past, this time claiming he had once had an abortion.



"Back in the, around the, in the 1970s when I was a, you know, a young, single black woman, I had to make a choice between keeping or killing, or killing or keeping the where was I, the dead child, or you know putting food on the table," claimed the real President behind a fake lectern in a fake press room with fake windows on the set of a fake White House.



Biden continued, "Back then I was trucking cross-country while fighting street gangs and marching with Rodney King to protest the Klondike Bar Klan, I had no choice but to murder my unborn child. Molasses."



Fact-checkers labeled the President's claims as mostly true, then pulled bottles of hard liquor from their desk drawers and drank until the warmth of inebriation gave them fleeting respite from the gaping, hollow void that ceaselessly harrowed their souls.



Biden has promised to fight hard until every woman has the right to "flapjack the waffle iron on a frumdiggle torcraprezsure" just like he did.

[Thiel]

Biden Repeats False Claim He Once Had An Abortion



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11223-1.jpg">https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/a ... 1223-1.jpg">https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11223-1.jpg[/img]



WASHINGTON, D.C.—Just days after making an accurate, fact-based claim that MAGA was "the most extreme political organization in recent American history," President Joe Biden fell back into his habit of making false assertions about his past, this time claiming he had once had an abortion.



"Back in the, around the, in the 1970s when I was a, you know, a young, single black woman, I had to make a choice between keeping or killing, or killing or keeping the where was I, the dead child, or you know putting food on the table," claimed the real President behind a fake lectern in a fake press room with fake windows on the set of a fake White House.



Biden continued, "Back then I was trucking cross-country while fighting street gangs and marching with Rodney King to protest the Klondike Bar Klan, I had no choice but to murder my unborn child. Molasses."



Fact-checkers labeled the President's claims as mostly true, then pulled bottles of hard liquor from their desk drawers and drank until the warmth of inebriation gave them fleeting respite from the gaping, hollow void that ceaselessly harrowed their souls.



Biden has promised to fight hard until every woman has the right to "flapjack the waffle iron on a frumdiggle torcraprezsure" just like he did.

We have a winner. That is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

https://server4.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/snomzbznrrt/p2/news/biden-repeats-false-claim-he-once-had-an-abortion">Biden Repeats False Claim He Once Had An Abortion



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11223-1.jpg">



WASHINGTON, D.C.—Just days after making an accurate, fact-based claim that MAGA was "the most extreme political organization in recent American history," President Joe Biden fell back into his habit of making false assertions about his past, this time claiming he had once had an abortion.



"Back in the, around the, in the 1970s when I was a, you know, a young, single black woman, I had to make a choice between keeping or killing, or killing or keeping the where was I, the dead child, or you know putting food on the table," claimed the real President behind a fake lectern in a fake press room with fake windows on the set of a fake White House.



Biden continued, "Back then I was trucking cross-country while fighting street gangs and marching with Rodney King to protest the Klondike Bar Klan, I had no choice but to murder my unborn child. Molasses."



Fact-checkers labeled the President's claims as mostly true, then pulled bottles of hard liquor from their desk drawers and drank until the warmth of inebriation gave them fleeting respite from the gaping, hollow void that ceaselessly harrowed their souls.



Biden has promised to fight hard until every woman has the right to "flapjack the waffle iron on a frumdiggle torcraprezsure" just like he did.

 

[cc]

https://babylonbee.com/news/pride-flag-adds-big-g-for-%22groomers">WORLD—Notable LGBTQ+ Groomer emblem unveiled for updated Pride Flag just in time for Pride Month in June.





The new flag features a capitalized letter "G" to represent the oppressed minority known as "Groomers." This marks the first time a letter, rather than a color, has been added to the flag since it was first designed by artist Gilbert Baker in 1978.



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11311-1.jpg">



The Groomer Flag was designed by Ronald Carson, a turbo-gender artist currently serving time in Michigan State Prison for pedophilia. Carson reportedly spent hours working with an intersex-inclusive flag variation before deciding to just add a "G" to it. Sources confirm he was paid over a thousand dollars for his work.



"This is an outstanding achievement, for both the LGBTQ+ community and for graphic design," said LGBTQ+ activist Chelby Danish. "Finally, groomers—both straight and gay—can feel truly seen. I mean, you can't miss it. The 'G' covers half the flag just like groomers dominate the conversation on LGBTQ+ issues every day."



Elementary school teachers and Disney workers have applauded the flag, grateful that the spotlight can shine on them and all the incredible work they've done to confuse children and induct them into gender ideology.



"If it weren't for us, gay, trans, and everything else would be a minority. We've worked to mold children into whatever will make them politically useful to us," said third-grade teacher Shelly Olbermann. "It helps that kids love rainbows."



According to sources, teachers across America are planning to hang the new flag up in their classrooms and then threaten their students to not tell anyone about it.

[Anonymous]

https://server6.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/snomzbznrrt/p2/news/pride-flag-adds-big-g-for-%22groomers">WORLD—Notable LGBTQ+ Groomer emblem unveiled for updated Pride Flag just in time for Pride Month in June.





The new flag features a capitalized letter "G" to represent the oppressed minority known as "Groomers." This marks the first time a letter, rather than a color, has been added to the flag since it was first designed by artist Gilbert Baker in 1978.



https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-11311-1.jpg">



The Groomer Flag was designed by Ronald Carson, a turbo-gender artist currently serving time in Michigan State Prison for pedophilia. Carson reportedly spent hours working with an intersex-inclusive flag variation before deciding to just add a "G" to it. Sources confirm he was paid over a thousand dollars for his work.



"This is an outstanding achievement, for both the LGBTQ+ community and for graphic design," said LGBTQ+ activist Chelby Danish. "Finally, groomers—both straight and gay—can feel truly seen. I mean, you can't miss it. The 'G' covers half the flag just like groomers dominate the conversation on LGBTQ+ issues every day."



Elementary school teachers and Disney workers have applauded the flag, grateful that the spotlight can shine on them and all the incredible work they've done to confuse children and induct them into gender ideology.



"If it weren't for us, gay, trans, and everything else would be a minority. We've worked to mold children into whatever will make them politically useful to us," said third-grade teacher Shelly Olbermann. "It helps that kids love rainbows."



According to sources, teachers across America are planning to hang the new flag up in their classrooms and then threaten their students to not tell anyone about it.

Oh my goodness, so funny.