Anus...

[Breakfall]

I always hoped they would never fart whilst I was performing analingus. I only had one ex girlfriend that purposely farted in my face for fun, and she regretted it big time. The stench was so putrefying, that it might as well have been a shit.



My fucking eyes were watering and I was dry-retching. I told her that if she somehow managed to give some conjunctivitis  from her rancid effort...I was most definitely shitting directly on her tits!

 Never once ever in my life have I been getting head and thought to myself "Hey you know what could make this even funner?! If i ripped ass right now. That would be awesome!"



 Yuck Break. Sounds like the kind of person who would eventually WANT you to shit on her tits.



 Be careful what you threaten people with lol.

Lol...she was an old South African girlfriend, so one would automatically assume that she was of a conservative nature. Not this one! She would call me from the lounge to the bathroom, and low and behold, she would be squatting on top of the toilet seat with half a "cigar" poking out her arse. She would just giggle at my shocked expression as I turned away in disgust. No culture!

 :001_rolleyes:

[Dove]

 Never once ever in my life have I been getting head and thought to myself "Hey you know what could make this even funner?! If i ripped ass right now. That would be awesome!"



 Yuck Break. Sounds like the kind of person who would eventually WANT you to shit on her tits.



 Be careful what you threaten people with lol.

Lol...she was an old South African girlfriend, so one would automatically assume that she was of a conservative nature. Not this one! She would call me from the lounge to the bathroom, and low and behold, she would be squatting on top of the toilet seat with half a "cigar" poking out her arse. She would just giggle at my shocked expression as I turned away in disgust. No culture!

 :001_rolleyes:

 

[Frood]

 ac_toofunny



There could be a year long egg shortage yet a pregnant woman's farts would still smell like 5 cartons strewn out on a hot tin roof in monsoon season....

 My utterly adorable, beautiful, petite little Squish.....drops nuclear ass bombs that smell like something that came out of a 65 year old obsese male trucker.  



 Not a little 6 year old girl lol.

Little girl farts are the worst for everyone around but particularly fathers in the room... ALL the chicks gang up on the dude and he's like "no, seriously.... no. I didn't drop my guts in the last 2-4 hours and then the mother (the most offending noxious nasty bandit)" goes "Noes!@!!!$!!! It was daddy"...



And then they fart shame an innocent dude....

[Breakfall]

 My utterly adorable, beautiful, petite little Squish.....drops nuclear ass bombs that smell like something that came out of a 65 year old obsese male trucker.  



 Not a little 6 year old girl lol.

Little girl farts are the worst for everyone around but particularly fathers in the room... ALL the chicks gang up on the dude and he's like "no, seriously.... no. I didn't drop my guts in the last 2-4 hours and then the mother (the most offending noxious nasty bandit)" goes "Noes!@!!!$!!! It was daddy"...



And then they fart shame an innocent dude....

 ac_toofunny

[Aryan]

Nah, they get disposed of ASAP Lulz.



Hissing spiders? Jesus..... I don't envy you guys who live in exotic locations!

 Michigan exotic? Lol.

Compared to here it is.