Another Newbie - Welcome Mona!

[Anonymous]

Where do you live in Australia Mona? My son is in Tasmania at the moment. He'll be coming home broke and needing a place to crash soon though I would imagine.

I live on the Eastern Coast.  Have never actually been to Tasmania... I'm not good on the sea (I got seasick on the Manly ferry in Sydney going to the zoo).  Plus I prefer to migrate towards warmer weather than what I believe is available in Tasmania.  



How has your son enjoyed his visit to Australia?   I hope he found us welcoming, we tend to be friendly towards tourists... generally.

I guess he has had a good time. He doesn't working or paying for stuff, so he did couch surfing from some site when he got there. He did a little work to eat, but then he found a girlfriend to mooch off of. Even welcoming Aussies will get sick of that in a hurry.

I guess that would be one way to wear out a welcome fast.

I hope he decides to grow up pretty frickin soon.

[Mona]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

[Anonymous]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

He will be twenty five soon.

[Anonymous]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

I think so too Mona.

[Mona]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

He will be twenty five soon.

These days a 25 year old is still feeling their way in the world.  And while it's good to have family to fall back on as a safety net, it's about time he realised that nobody works for the joy of it, they work in order to have a home, and food, and clothing and to fund their lifestyle, and what they do want to do.  Until you make him take responsibility for providing for himself, he will continue to rely upon you.



My 20 yr old still lives at home, and has taken a job that doesn't inspire him, but he does enjoy the idea of regular money to fund his social life, because I won't.   Not that he actually ever asked me to, he occasionally borrows money, but he pays it back.

[Anonymous]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

He will be twenty five soon.

These days a 25 year old is still feeling their way in the world.  And while it's good to have family to fall back on as a safety net, it's about time he realised that nobody works for the joy of it, they work in order to have a home, and food, and clothing and to fund their lifestyle, and what they do want to do.  Until you make him take responsibility for providing for himself, he will continue to rely upon you.



My 20 yr old still lives at home, and has taken a job that doesn't inspire him, but he does enjoy the idea of regular money to fund his social life, because I won't.   Not that he actually ever asked me to, he occasionally borrows money, but he pays it back.

A sense of entitlement is a dangerous thing....for parents and taxpayers.

[Anonymous]

Tough love might be in order.  How old is he?

He will be twenty five soon.

These days a 25 year old is still feeling their way in the world.  And while it's good to have family to fall back on as a safety net, it's about time he realised that nobody works for the joy of it, they work in order to have a home, and food, and clothing and to fund their lifestyle, and what they do want to do.  Until you make him take responsibility for providing for himself, he will continue to rely upon you.



My 20 yr old still lives at home, and has taken a job that doesn't inspire him, but he does enjoy the idea of regular money to fund his social life, because I won't.   Not that he actually ever asked me to, he occasionally borrows money, but he pays it back.

I see it as my job as a parent to prepare my children for the world..



I would not be overly concerned if at twenty five if my son or daughter were not on a trajectory for independence..



But another year or two and I would start to worry.

[Mona]

I would be worried if at 25 my child was neither studying for a career, or working, and considered work to be something other people did to support him.  



As a parent, it is my duty to prepare my child for the world, not only so that he can cope with the world, but so that the world can handle having to cope with him.



Even my ten year olds don't see their toys, or belongings, as their right, but as a privilege that they should appreciate being given.   I don't pay them pocket money for doing jobs around the house, that is their duty as members of our family to contribute in this way.

[Anonymous]

I would be worried if at 25 my child was neither studying for a career, or working, and considered work to be something other people did to support him.  



As a parent, it is my duty to prepare my child for the world, not only so that he can cope with the world, but so that the world can handle having to cope with him.



Even my ten year olds don't see their toys, or belongings, as their right, but as a privilege that they should appreciate being given.   I don't pay them pocket money for doing jobs around the house, that is their duty as members of our family to contribute in this way.

I agree with you, but it is Herman's son..



Besides, I have seen his picture and he's big and strong looking.

 

[Anonymous]

I would be worried if at 25 my child was neither studying for a career, or working, and considered work to be something other people did to support him.  



As a parent, it is my duty to prepare my child for the world, not only so that he can cope with the world, but so that the world can handle having to cope with him.



Even my ten year olds don't see their toys, or belongings, as their right, but as a privilege that they should appreciate being given.   I don't pay them pocket money for doing jobs around the house, that is their duty as members of our family to contribute in this way.

It seems Herman's son suffers from Peter Pan syndrome.

[Mona]

I would be worried if at 25 my child was neither studying for a career, or working, and considered work to be something other people did to support him.  



As a parent, it is my duty to prepare my child for the world, not only so that he can cope with the world, but so that the world can handle having to cope with him.



Even my ten year olds don't see their toys, or belongings, as their right, but as a privilege that they should appreciate being given.   I don't pay them pocket money for doing jobs around the house, that is their duty as members of our family to contribute in this way.

I agree with you, but it is Herman's son..



Besides, I have seen his picture and he's big and strong looking.

 

Oh, I wasn't passing judgement on Herman's son, simply responding to your your comments and stating how I personally parent my children.  There is no right or wrong, only what is right for each individual family.



Having said that, I married the result of overly permissive parenting.  It wasn't pretty.

[Anonymous]

^Even if you were, I doubt Herm is offended.

[Anonymous]

^Even if you were, I doubt Herm is offended.

If he's critical of his son, that's one thing, if he do it that's another.