Almost EVERYTHING has a repurposed theme. They'll take a name from Europe or the Americas and glue it to an abomination approximation... so try to order a pizza with 5 toppings you like, 3 you cancel, and 1 or 2 you want added quantity of or other ingredients they never considered that people who KNOW pizza at the very foundation of Pizzatude just expect... "hey, remove a bunch of our ingredients we charge extra for if you ask for them? Cool... ask for garlic and that's three bucks, mate!"
And what's really bad is that these motherfucking business owners get repeat customers for things like chocolate and pineapple pizzas with cream cheese...
THAT'S NOT A FUCKING PIZZA, BRO. THAT'S SHIT MASQUERADING AS A SAVOURY ITALIAN PIE........AND WHY YOU GONNA CHARGE ME 38 BUCKS FOR THAT SHIT??? YOU'RE FUCKED IN THE HEAD.
....but wait.... it gets better in Australia.
EVERY MEXICAN INSPIRED RESTAURANT HERE IS REALLY A SHITTY FUCKING IMPERSONATION OF TEX-MEX FOODS...
ANYTHING wrapped in a fucking tortilla has "long grain rice" in it... wtfucking fuck? Rice is a fucking side dish, mate... and white long grain white rice isn't Tex mex.... it's your fucking filler for profit margins. Eat a bag of long grain rotting dog dicks!
But try to argue with the person taking your order that you don't want the rice IN the knockoff Tex Mex wrap... but either on the side, or much more preferably in their garbage bin.
And these people get really fucking insulted.... like really snarky... things like, "your Mexican food will be much smaller if we aren't allowed to prepare it in a traditional way"... and I'm like BULLFUCKING SHIT MOTHERFUCKER... TEX MEX WAS BASTARDISED BUT YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT FUCKING INEDIBLE RIGHT NOW. RICE ON THE SIDE. IT'S GOING IN YOUR BIN OR MINE. I PREFER YOURS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ONLY CHARGING ME 6 BUCKS TO DELIVER 1 MILE AWAY IN A REGIONAL TOWN, YOU'RE ACTUALLY CHARGING A FUCKING "SERVICE FEE" UP TO 4 BUCKS. WHO THE FUCK SERVICED MY FOOD BETWEEN WHEN IT GOT HANDED TO THE DRIVER AND THEN HANDED TO ME, CUNT???
SHOULD I GET A MOTHERFUCKING HIV TEST? AND WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING PAYING FOR THAT?
Australian food (dine in/takeaway) is a hyperinflated endeavour... but what gets me spitting mad is how much they charge to fully fuck food... unless you're uncultured and don't know that there is no such thing as a Pittsburgh Burrito or Dakotas Pizza.... or no matter how many fucking times you put into your order notes.... "do not heat up or grill my fucking cold cut ordered hoagie/sub sandwich to a burnt mass of ass"... and these stupid motherfucking Aussies just keep doing it... (on the rare occasion they don't, one can see it's just cheap pizza mozzarella, crappy ham, cheap salami pretending to be pepperoni... all the things they put on their shitstastic fucking pizzas worth 30 bucks or better without ingredient changes... try 40 bucks when you weed out the nastiest shit which will make the average American projectile vomit in less than a minute.)
Guess some might be questioning this rant...and rightly so.
I've entirely gotten 3 takeouts today...
Breakfast: thin slice of ham and cheese on buttered thin wonder bread grilled toast.... 8 bucks
Lunch: standard cheese burger from a food van slathered in ketchup and fucking BBQ sauce? Wtf?? W/can of coke... 20 bucks
Dinner: Now I really stewed on getting fucked over twice before on this one, but I thought... you know what. Meat isn't going to dethaw quick...I have these days 2-3 times per year...and I'm all in for three fucking meals made by a rapist with no taste buds...
Went on Menulog in different windows and simultaneously started ordering things I might eat in the fields, got to payouts, compared all the shit... and went "FUCK YOU ALL! McDonald's only charges one fee, you can take things off your meals or put them on, with minimum cost, they offer slightly more healthier options in the combos...and I can get a reasonable fucking coffee out of it....)
This is what Australian food is... a whole lot of stupid tasteless peoples preying on the consumers too stupid to realise that they're stupid tasteless motherfuckers as well.
And if I have to eat a double quarter pounder with no ketchup, salt and pepper, but extra onions, mustard, and pickles tonight to support a multinational company that doesn't givea shit about health, yet offers fair pricing with a salad and long black coffee meal delivered without "service fees"... sign me up to Amazon!
The pizza I wanted was double the price. The Mexican grotesque, and don't get me started about the curry munchers...
So FUCK AUSTRALIAN FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS!
It's a predatory hyper inflated rape.
The ham and cheese was a buck at cost.
Hamburger, 5 bucks
I've been thinking about ripping this joint up with a gilded food van for decades... but then I realise, "They're too stupid to buy better quality foods served fast that don't taste like abortion and cost their 1st borns"...
And oh yeah, these stupid tastebud lacking Aussie motherfuckers use the power of socialism to block out free market minded people who ACTUALLY know how to make the foods these Aussies rape and then shit on.
***spit***
If you want to see Australian fauna, Americans... go to a fucking nearby zoo.
Don't give these fuckwits one fucking penny unless you must.
lol at your $20 lunch.... they rubbed their hands when they saw you coming.
Make your own lunch ya lazy bastard!~
PS, the food in Australia?... well the standards are VERY low.
I would have thought a mulitcultural nation like Australia had first rate dining choices.
I bought fried chicken today from Jollibee. It's a Filipino chain. It was decidedly average.
I tried that Vegemite fungus that Aussies spread on their toast one time. It was the most disgusting thing I ever ate. It took a week to wash the taste of that filth out of my mouth.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 12, 2023, 11:17:36 PM
I tried that Vegemite fungus that Aussies spread on their toast one time. It was the most disgusting thing I ever ate. It took a week to wash the taste of that filth out of my mouth.
Ha ha, me 2.
Quote from: Shen Li on August 12, 2023, 11:22:51 PM
Ha ha, me 2.
Seriously! Isn't that stuff awful. It smells like black mold growing in a dank and dirty basement and tastes 15 times worse.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 12, 2023, 11:17:36 PM
I tried that Vegemite fungus that Aussies spread on their toast one time. It was the most disgusting thing I ever ate. It took a week to wash the taste of that filth out of my mouth.
First of all try PROMITE... then if and when you do try it, you put the most miniscule amount with plenty of butter and some cheese on a cracker or piece of bread. You probably tried it too thick ....
Quote from: DKG on August 10, 2023, 11:54:23 AM
I would have thought a mulitcultural nation like Australia had first rate dining choices.
Our best produce is exported... the best produce at home goes to restaurants where you pay an arm and a leg then we are stuck with supermarkets.
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 12:01:37 AM
First of all try PROMITE... then if and when you do try it, you put the most miniscule amount with plenty of butter and some cheese on a cracker or piece of bread. You probably tried it too thick ....
I spread it like peanut butter on a hot piece of toast and took a huge bite. I spit that shit right out all over the table. It was horrible. Spend like 4 bucks on the jar of that gunk too. I don't think I want to try anything else from Australia with "MITE" in the name.
I did get some packaged lamb chops from there once at a specialty store with exotic meats from all over the world. They were quite tasty.
I don't like any spreads. Peanut butter, vegemite., mayo or anything cheese or chocolate.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 12:17:55 AM
I spread it like peanut butter on a hot piece of toast and took a huge bite. I spit that shit right out all over the table. It was horrible. Spend like 4 bucks on the jar of that gunk too. I don't think I want to try anything else from Australia with "MITE" in the name.
I did get some packaged lamb chops from there once at a specialty store with exotic meats from all over the world. They were quite tasty.
Had you been given it the way we give it to babies you would have been hooked.
I think Frood loves it he was converted lol...
Quote from: Shen Li on August 13, 2023, 12:40:18 AM
I don't like any spreads. Peanut butter, vegemite., mayo or anything cheese or chocolate.
Our famous spread now is smash an avo (avocado) on toast...
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 12:50:55 AM
Had you been given it the way we give it to babies you would have been hooked.
I think Frood loves it he was converted lol...
Here in the States we do that with peanut butter. Thank God we had a black fella named Carver that figured out what to do with goober peas that grow like weeds down south. I can't imagine growing up without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. On white bread, of course.
It does seem from the OP rant that Frood still remembers what pizza is supposed to be..
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 12:17:55 AM
I spread it like peanut butter on a hot piece of toast and took a huge bite. I spit that shit right out all over the table. It was horrible. Spend like 4 bucks on the jar of that gunk too. I don't think I want to try anything else from Australia with "MITE" in the name.
I did get some packaged lamb chops from there once at a specialty store with exotic meats from all over the world. They were quite tasty.
I never liked that shit when I lived in Australia. I like my bread too.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 01:02:21 AM
Here in the States we do that with peanut butter. Thank God we had a black fella named Carver that figured out what to do with goober peas that grow like weeds down south. I can't imagine growing up without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. On white bread, of course.
It does seem from the OP rant that Frood still remembers what pizza is supposed to be..
Vegemite needs to spread extremely thinly on real buttered toast... think lightly dusted.
Then a thick layer of mashed avocado over top. Slathering the Vegemite on like a P&B sounds like a horror show.
Vegemite on toast with cheese is quite good too.
I spent considerable amounts of my childhood around Philly and Jersey. Birthplace of the modern pizza.
I tried Marmite, but I think that is from Britain.
They just played a prank on the black American dude who is one of the Voice judges this year.... blindfolded they gave him a thick teaspoon of Vegemite... once the saltiness registered tongue to brain, a horror raked over him... and he cussed... it was so funny.
They shouldn't do that to unsuspecting first timers.....lololol
Quote from: DKG on August 13, 2023, 10:43:28 AM
I tried Marmite, but I think that is from Britain.
Marmite is horrible...
Vegemite is much less horrible but really promite is the nicest because they added a bit of sugar...
It all comes from the bottom of beer making barrels anyway... if you eat a tiny amount you'll recogize beer in it. Because that is what it's made from... beer making.
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 10:44:59 AM
They just played a prank on the black American dude who is one of the Voice this year.... blindfolded they gave him a thick teaspoon of Vegemite... once the saltiness registered tongue to brain, a horror raked over him... and he cussed... it was so funny.
They shouldn't do that to unsuspecting first timers.....lololol
I can eat it thick but understand novice reactions.
Most kids hate beer, spirits, black coffee, and chillies. You wouldn't expect them to swallow a Carolina Reaper or double expresso.
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 10:48:32 AM
Marmite is horrible...
Vegemite is much less horrible but really promite is the nicest because they added a bit of sugar...
It all comes from the bottom of beer making barrels anyway... if you eat a tiny amount you'll recogize beer in it. Because that is what it's made from... beer making.
I thought Marmite was a British brand of vegemite. I doubt I would like vegemite.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 12, 2023, 11:17:36 PM
I tried that Vegemite fungus that Aussies spread on their toast one time. It was the most disgusting thing I ever ate. It took a week to wash the taste of that filth out of my mouth.
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 12:01:37 AM
...put the most miniscule amount with plenty of butter... You probably tried it too thick ....
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 12:17:55 AM
I spread it like peanut butter on a hot piece of toast and took a huge bite. I spit that shit right out all over the table.
I'm not fucking surprised, that's way too fucking much ya drongo!
Look... see that fingernail on your little finger? Small, innit?
That's how much you would use on a piece of toast. No more. You wouldn't spread wasabi like penis butter and Vaginamite is no different.
Unless you live in Californica, then...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPynEc0LpNs
...you deserve everything you get.
A final note; see how much he's left behind in those two jars? That's enough to spread over a loaf's worth of toast. You start spreading it like any conventional breakfast spread and even your tastebuds are going to start calling you a fuckwit.
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 12:53:12 AM
Our famous spread now is smash an avo (avocado) on toast...
Yeah, I'd heard Australia had morphed into a load of socialist soytards, I'm not surprised you lot would be gobbing down Seppo Californica fare. Barfofuckingrama, have you copycatted their bacon flavoured icecream as well?
Quote from: Frood on August 13, 2023, 10:50:41 AM
I can eat it thick but understand novice reactions.
Most kids hate beer, spirits, black coffee, and chillies. You wouldn't expect them to swallow a Carolina Reaper or double expresso.
Because you not Australian you might not know mother's put Vegemite on babies dummies... We start them young in Australia....lol
Didn't your Aussie kids get Vegemite on their dummies?
You know I have never eaten battered onion rings.... Or deep fried water melon...
I like regular food and I love Thai food and Vietnamese food.
I am using Kurt's phone because he has wayyyyy more gigs that me but I don't know my way around it so bare with me?
Quote from: caskur on August 13, 2023, 01:20:59 PM
You know I have never eaten battered onion rings.... Or deep fried water melon...
I like regular food and I love Thai food and Vietnamese food.
I am using Kurt's phone because he has wayyyyy more gigs that me but I don't know my way around it so bare with me?
Onion rings are a appy staple in North America.
Quote from: Frood on August 13, 2023, 07:00:49 AM
Vegemite needs to spread extremely thinly on real buttered toast... think lightly dusted.
Then a thick layer of mashed avocado over top. Slathering the Vegemite on like a P&B sounds like a horror show.
Vegemite on toast with cheese is quite good too.
I spent considerable amounts of my childhood around Philly and Jersey. Birthplace of the modern pizza.
I'll leave the fungus eating to the Aussies, thanks.
And east coast pizza sucks. You want good pizza, you do like they say in that old Zeppelin song: "Go to Chicago ..."
Quote from: Adolf Oliver Bush on August 13, 2023, 11:59:28 AM
I'm not fucking surprised, that's way too fucking much ya drongo!
Look... see that fingernail on your little finger? Small, innit? That's how much you would use on a piece of toast. No more. You wouldn't spread wasabi like penis butter and Vaginamite is no different.
Now ya tell me? I still ain't trying it again. That shit is a class one biological weapon.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 02:18:42 PM
I'll leave the fungus eating to the Aussies, thanks.
And east coast pizza sucks. You want good pizza, you do like they say in that old Zeppelin song: "Go to Chicago ..."
Most pizzerias cannot get good Chicago style pizza right.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 02:18:42 PM
I'll leave the fungus eating to the Aussies, thanks.
And east coast pizza sucks. You want good pizza, you do like they say in that old Zeppelin song: "Go to Chicago ..."
Eat eaten pizzas from everywhere. Chicago is better than NY but Philly is the best. They all shit over west coast though.
Quote from: Frood on August 13, 2023, 10:36:29 PM
Eat eaten pizzas from everywhere. Chicago is better than NY but Philly is the best. They all shit over west coast though.
I dunno. People out west put weird shit like pineapple and avocado on pizza. That's sacra-fucken-ligious.
Quote from: Gurk_MacGuintey on August 13, 2023, 10:45:23 PM
I dunno. People out west put weird shit like pineapple and avocado on pizza. That's sacra-fucken-ligious.
Avocado on a chicken and bacon pizza is good... but the avocado doesn't break the one cardinal rule.
"There is only room for one fruit on the pizza and that's the tomato sauce. Fin. End"
And yeah.... West Coast people are pizza retarded.... stuff like gluten free unmilled wholegrain crusts with dry roasted okra, artisan mayonnaise, baby pineapple and kiwi berry slices, and diseccated used Pampers from a discarded anchor baby w/a sweet and sour marmalade liberally doused over that 'pie travesty'...
Basically Prog Pizza.
They do that in the trendy areas of Australia too.... and charge 45 bucks per 16 inch pizza.
I order the Prog Supremes and have them remove 6-10 ingredients until it resembles a real pizza because they charge you 2-3 bucks for any ingredient you add (including black pepper) but don't charge you for removals.
I'm like:
"Please take out the sparkler dust, thong footwear, kale, fake meat, fake cheese, any fruit, any barbecue sauce, rhubarb, artichokes, and gender queer studies tampons, thnx"...
Then I add that if I find a single piece of pineapple on my pie, I'm going to take a massive dookie on the it and throw it into their kitchen.....which sometimes backfires if the kid behind the counter turns red, winks, and whispers "yes please".
Quote from: Frood on August 14, 2023, 04:14:02 AMAvocado on a chicken and bacon pizza is good... but the avocado doesn't break the one cardinal rule.
"There is only room for one fruit on the pizza and that's the tomato sauce. Fin. End"
And yeah.... West Coast people are pizza retarded.... stuff like gluten free unmilled wholegrain crusts with dry roasted okra, artisan mayonnaise, baby pineapple and kiwi berry slices, and diseccated used Pampers from a discarded anchor baby w/a sweet and sour marmalade liberally doused over that 'pie travesty'...
Basically Prog Pizza.
They do that in the trendy areas of Australia too.... and charge 45 bucks per 16 inch pizza.
I order the Prog Supremes and have them remove 6-10 ingredients until it resembles a real pizza because they charge you 2-3 bucks for any ingredient you add (including black pepper) but don't charge you for removals.
I'm like:
"Please take out the sparkler dust, thong footwear, kale, fake meat, fake cheese, any fruit, any barbecue sauce, rhubarb, artichokes, and gender queer studies tampons, thnx"...
Then I add that if I find a single piece of pineapple on my pie, I'm going to take a massive dookie on the it and throw it into their kitchen.....which sometimes backfires if the kid behind the counter turns red, winks, and whispers "yes please".
Olives are fruit and they most definitely belong on pizza!~
Quote from: caskur on August 18, 2023, 02:43:46 AMOlives are fruit and they most definitely belong on pizza!~
Olives are savoury fruit soaked in brine.
They get a pass.
Black Olives Matter
Quote from: Frood on August 18, 2023, 04:04:43 AMOlives are savoury fruit soaked in brine.
They get a pass.
Black Olives Matter
Indeed... black olives do matter.
8 people we gave olives to this year said they were THE BEST olives they had ever eaten.
Rhubarb on pizza? Jesus fucking christ, now I have heard everything...
Quote from: RAVEN on August 13, 2023, 06:15:03 PMNothing worse than paying big $$$$$ for shitty food :(
Ever think about opening your own food truck? Have a limited menu with your own special eats for a reasonable price and park on a busy street at lunchtime.. You'd probably make a killing
A number of people have told me the exact same thing, and I'd love it, if it weren't for the heavy bureaucracy.
So this is a prime example of Australian take out/away/delivery food and food service in general:
(https://i.postimg.cc/ZnybpmHm/Screenshot-20230824-175322.jpg)
Pizzas here are pretty fucking shit and the better ones are still mediocre compared to East Coast or Chicago style US pizzas.
I tried to order another "Monster" "12 inch" pizza again with explicit instructions to not accidentally dump a dozen or so putrid chunks of tinned pineapple on it.
:crampe:
Fucking "Monster 12 Inch"! :crampe:
Nearly 30 dollars for an almost inedible shit pie (though the best that any shop around here can produce),
Almost 10 bucks more for delivery less than three quarters of a mile away...
But the kicker is that they added 10% GST! Aka Goods and Services Tax... which is ALWAYS incorporated into the asking price... so these motherfuckers are on THE TAKE.
40 bucks AUD (or 30 bucks USD) for a tiny shit pizza delivered down the sidewalk.. :Doh2:
I went yeah nah... I'll make my own.
And it won't have any trace of that putrefied Seamajor bumhole puke in it.
And the tip option!
:crampe:
We don't fucking tip here in Australia because the socialist governments set high minimum wages.
Quote from: Frood on August 24, 2023, 04:11:41 AMAnd the tip option!
:crampe:
We don't fucking tip here in Australia because the socialist governments set high minimum wages.
that is right, tipping isn't the custom and should never be the custom.
Quote from: caskur on August 24, 2023, 04:33:08 AMthat is right, tipping isn't the custom and should never be the custom.
Did you notice one of the red bars below saying I hadn't spent 30 bucks on my order to qualify for delivery?
I removed pineapple but to add any ingredient would cost me between 2 and 4.5 bucks. No refund for the pineapple either.
This is why service industries in Australia are fucked... not just because of the covid years.
They've been charging for ketchup packets since the beginning of time here...