Murdy

[Anonymous]

I stayed for 12 years longer than I should have. However, I didn't do it for financial reasons. I did it because I assessed that my children would better benefit from a 2 parent home. We hid everything from the kids... his affairs, my online addiction and subsequent alcoholism.... they kids were clueless and shocked when we finally split.



Looking back, I could have hated him at the gym. But instead I took it out on myself because the cut my failed marriage left was that DEEP. It took an emotional toll on me that I will probably never fully heal from. He was literally sucking the life out of me and I didn't like who I was when I was with him.



We were excellent business partners and I will never be able to get legally married again without it being potentially detrimental to my retirement. So that's my reward... I will never have a husband in the eyes of the law ever again and I'm emotionally scarred for life.

Murdy, you do not owe any of us an explanation. Most of us on the these forums have relationship baggage. Not Fash, but everyone else. So, anybody judging you has three more fingers pointed back at themselves.

Once in a while, you surprise me Herman.

It's true and I'm sure you've seen it. Some people on these forums get super judgmental about other people's relationships and they have had more than a few failed relationships themselves. Not you though Fash. You are pretty cool about it.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I gather you would prefer a guy not have kids? I don't blame you, but like you said, it will be tougher once you get a certain age.

[Anonymous]

I stayed for 12 years longer than I should have. However, I didn't do it for financial reasons. I did it because I assessed that my children would better benefit from a 2 parent home. We hid everything from the kids... his affairs, my online addiction and subsequent alcoholism.... they kids were clueless and shocked when we finally split.



Looking back, I could have hated him at the gym. But instead I took it out on myself because the cut my failed marriage left was that DEEP. It took an emotional toll on me that I will probably never fully heal from. He was literally sucking the life out of me and I didn't like who I was when I was with him.



We were excellent business partners and I will never be able to get legally married again without it being potentially detrimental to my retirement. So that's my reward... I will never have a husband in the eyes of the law ever again and I'm emotionally scarred for life.

Murdy, you do not owe any of us an explanation. Most of us on the these forums have relationship baggage. Not Fash, but everyone else. So, anybody judging you has three more fingers pointed back at themselves.

People can judge me all they want, Herman.  If they don't pay my bills, I have ZERO f@cks to give.  



I'm just contributing real life experience for an intellectual discussion that we can all reflect, learn and potentially grow from.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I gather you would prefer a guy not have kids? I don't blame you, but like you said, it will be tougher once you get a certain age.

I would prefer an empty nester with strong family values.

[caskur]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I'm not a drinker but used to be a very heavy chain smoker though. I gave up 5 yrs and 2 month ago... I really wished I could smoke now and again... but I'd only start off light and end up fully addicted in a fortnight.



You will find someone. You put out good vibes.



Enjoy everyday.



Life is good.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I gather you would prefer a guy not have kids? I don't blame you, but like you said, it will be tougher once you get a certain age.

I would prefer an empty nester with strong family values.

That should be easy since many adults probably start dating again once their children are adults.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I'm not a drinker but used to be a very heavy chain smoker though. I gave up 5 yrs and 2 month ago... I really wished I could smoke now and again... but I'd only start off light and end up fully addicted in a fortnight.



You will find someone. You put out good vibes.



Enjoy everyday.



Life is good.

Awww thanks, Caskur.  I hope so... I have all this free time and wifey skills going to waste.  



But I'm glad you stopped.  I still cheat here and there on breaks with the girls at work.  I would like to think that remaining calm and not murdering anyone is better for my health than a few cigs.

[Anonymous]

Ya, your employer might get a little upset if you kill one or two of theiremployees.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I gather you would prefer a guy not have kids? I don't blame you, but like you said, it will be tougher once you get a certain age.

I would prefer an empty nester with strong family values.

That should be easy since many adults probably start dating again once their children are adults.

When I made the decision to stay until they both were out of HS, I couldn't imagine bringing another man into the house.  I still can't imagine how they will react when I finally do find someone and it's serious and we are living together.  But I would like to think that a big extended family gathered around my dinning room table will be fun.  



I wanted more children, but with his affairs I stopped after 2.  I'd like to that this is also my chance to have more children... except now I don't have to raise them or put them through college.  I just get to be their father's crazy silly girlfriend  ac_dance

[Anonymous]

I cannot respond to your post, it's now a locked thread but I think you did the right thing for the right reasons and one day you'll be rewarded for your efforts.



Try and get your health in check though. You really need to do that first. Alcohol is one of the main causes of cancer. Our TV commercials in Australia are advertising that fact. You need to be healthy for retirement if you want  to endure a fun retirement.



You've been doing good.... Just keep doing good.

Hello Caskur, it's been a L O N G time xoxo



I've done a lot of healing since I saw you last.... spiritually, physically and mentally.  I made the conscious decision to not stop drinking entirely.  I pretty much compartmentalize my alcoholism now.  I only drink on Friday or Saturday nights and limit how many of those I get a month.  However, I have an alcohol allergy and it doesn't take much to get me there.  



I am hopeful that I will eventually find a great guy and that we will be happy enjoying life, travel and our grandchildren together (I doubt I'll find anyone who is suitable at this point who doesn't have children).  



Wish me luck!

I gather you would prefer a guy not have kids? I don't blame you, but like you said, it will be tougher once you get a certain age.

I would prefer an empty nester with strong family values.

That should be easy since many adults probably start dating again once their children are adults.

When I made the decision to stay until they both were out of HS, I couldn't imagine bringing another man into the house.  I still can't imagine how they will react when I finally do find someone and it's serious and we are living together.  But I would like to think that a big extended family gathered around my dinning room table will be fun.  



I wanted more children, but with his affairs I stopped after 2.  I'd like to this this is also my chance to have more children... except now I don't have to raise them or put them through college.  I just get to be their father's crazy silly girlfriend  ac_dance

We know people with step families..



They seem to have two Christmases and two Thanksgiving meals..



Two families means twice as much fun.

[Blurt]

Hmmm... single, good values, faithful, devoted, no children, smart and witty, doesn't use drugs or alcohol, not unpleasant to look upon, loves to travel, financially autonomous, spiritually aware, has minimal relationship baggage...



We're out there, Murdy. Don't give up.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm... single, good values, faithful, devoted, no children, smart and witty, doesn't use drugs or alcohol, not unpleasant to look upon, loves to travel, financially autonomous, spiritually aware, has minimal relationship baggage...



We're out there, Murdy. Don't give up.

BC match making.

[caskur]

When you reach middle age, you have to get serious and look at what type of old age you want...



Some people just live day to day...



Old age is a scary topic if you haven't set yourself up during your younger years to sail through old age.



You also really do need to take care yourself health-wise... There is no point developing a cancerous growth and then saying, "oh shit, I better start eating better and exercising. I like living, death seems very unappealing at this stage."...lol

[Anonymous]

When you reach middle age, you have to get serious and look at what type of old age you want...



Some people just live day to day...



Old age is a scary topic if you haven't set yourself up during your younger years to sail through old age.



You also really do need to take care yourself health-wise... There is no point developing a cancerous growth and then saying, "oh shit, I better start eating better and exercising. I like living, death seems very unappealing at this stage."...lol

Some people don't prepare for the future.

[caskur]

When you reach middle age, you have to get serious and look at what type of old age you want...



Some people just live day to day...



Old age is a scary topic if you haven't set yourself up during your younger years to sail through old age.



You also really do need to take care yourself health-wise... There is no point developing a cancerous growth and then saying, "oh shit, I better start eating better and exercising. I like living, death seems very unappealing at this stage."...lol

Some people don't prepare for the future.

And some future events are beyond anyone's control...



I'm thinking of natural disaster victims. We're just super lucky we live in a developed world country.