You must insult the person above you.

[Shen Li]

Offered to buy my bra souvenir from Dollywood.

[J E B Stuart]

Gets her feelings hurt every year at the office Christmas party because every year they draw names for secret Santa and every year she receives a Lane Bryant "Whoppers" brassiere.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

Every year he storms out of the X-mas party in tears because he didn't receive a Lane Bryant "Whoppers" brassiere.

[Frood]

Extreme seafood chefs from Japan pay to have her sit on their faces. 

[J E B Stuart]

Went ahead and ate Fred, his Bassett hound. "Them old hags messed with the wrong dude", he said  defiantly to the arresting officer as he was hauled to jail.


              Fred, R.I.P.

Amen.

[Frood]

Plays Uno with himself.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Plays with himself.

[J E B Stuart]

Does a victory dance whenever he beats the neighborhood preschoolers at Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Amen. 

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Mixes gasoline, paint thinner, and draino which is his recipe for a "Kamikaze".

[J E B Stuart]

Mixes gasoline, paint thinner, and draino which is his home remedy for constipation.

Amen.

[Renegade Quark]

Lives in his car by choice,  not necessity.

[Shen Li]

He's so cheap when he dies, he'll probably walk towards the light - and turn it off.

[Frood]

The hair on her vagina is highly prized at autobody shops for sanding back rust filler. 

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Uses a scouring pad like a loofah sponge on his ass.

[Reggie Essent]

Cleans his ass with a power washer and muriatic acid.