Free Range Parenting

[RW]

You are welcome to your opinion Asia.  I'd be lying if I said your defensiveness doesn't irk me because we are all sharing our opinions - Yours is no less valid than mine or anyone else's. :). Take mine with a grain of salt too.  I live in small town Canada, a country that has about the same population as the state of California.  I moved out of the city so my kids could have a "free range" life.



In the case of this family, I think social services needs to get off their ass and focus on children who are seriously neglected and abused.

[@realAzhyaAryola]

Well, thank you, RW. Irked? Surely you were prepared to face opposition. I know the feeling. I face opposition too. How arrogant of me to believe no one will disagree with me. For example, there are people who could not appreciate my becoming passionately involved in my son's hockey years and becoming a Hockey Mom who was also the DJ. We can be equally irked.



Of course I had to be defensive because I was defending my position against the majority expressing their position against mine. I'm not trying to convince anyone to agree with me as that will be highly impossible just as it will not be possible for me to agree with your position on this issue. We are the two sides of this matter and I'm not wavering on the issue which could lead me to change my mind. No, and I'm pleased to know I'm not alone because I speak to friends about this and we pretty much agree.



I don't believe you have to get away from the city to live a "free range" life. I think that term describes the principle more than the community of choice. The couple in Maryland in the core of this debate do not live in the outskirts of the city. Their city is a developing metropolis. I know that area all too well--lively, thriving, booming, busy, but it also has its share of low life and crime.

[RW]

Hockey moms are scary ladies.  I admire your passion though hehe.



I think I would agree with you more if I lived in a city.  I understand wanting to keep your kids close but I think it goes a bit too far.  I will be interested in seeing what happens to kids who constantly have their parents hovering over them.  



It seems to be considered abuse to give kids a mile but is it abuse to never give kids an inch?

[@realAzhyaAryola]

We agree on the hovering issue but we don't agree about Hockey Moms being scary. Not at all. I know many of them and some are sweet and soft- spoken.



I was never the hovering kind of parent. I was simply saying that I do not approve of the 6 and 10 year old children being left on their own to walk a mile. They are vulnerable that way.



When I smelled something fishy, I hovered over my children to find out what's fishy and nip it in the bud. However, I've also given them free rein. When they were younger, they've gone places without me and I've gone away without them. At 10 years of age, I gave my consent for my oldest son to go rappelling in the mountains of Maryland's western panhandle. He'd also go away to an outdoor school for a week in Maryland's eastern shore. I've allowed them to have "sleep overs" at the homes of their friends especially when I knew the parents well. I always want to meet the parents of the kids my children spend time with. I never forced my children on activities they didn't enjoy. My hockey player played hockey because he loves to play it. My youngest was in Kung Fu academy because he showed enthusiasm at first but when he told me he did not enjoy it anymore, I cancelled his membership right away. No point in continuing. My oldest son friended me on facebook years ago but my youngest said, "I love you, Mom, but please respect my choice not to friend you." He said it to me bluntly too. Heheh. That one is a smart alec. I'm pleased my sons exercise their freedoms.



I realize that I never have to squeeze the truth out of my children because they seem to have a tendency to confide in me. I know a great deal, sometimes more than I care to know.

[Renee]

I don't think anyone is accusing you of being a helicopter parent, Azhya. All I'm saying is that under certain circumstances a 10 year old walking home from a playground isn't a terrible thing. For the most part I think this whole thing is nothing but an over reaching over reaction by government  authorities.



I would appear that you and I have similar parenting styles. My older three have always been involved in activities since they were 5 or earlier. I got them involved in everything they wanted to try until they settled on the one thing they loved. My oldest...cheerleading, my next oldest....soccer and softball.....the next one, tennis and concert band. Now I have a soon to be 3 year old and I will have to start the process all over again very soon.



 I guess what I'm trying to say is that each one of my children are different. Each one has strengths and weaknesses. The oldest is mature and smart well beyond her years and always has been. The next oldest is head strong and rebellious. She has too much "me" in her. The next is artistic and sometimes flighty, I see a lot of my sister in her. Of the three, at 10 years old, I would probably only trust my oldest to do things on her own while at the same time taking responsibility for her younger sisters.



I have always been involved in their lives and activities and have watched over them intently, but at the same time I've tried to give them enough freedom to grow emotionally, intellectually and socially. That includes showing enough faith in them to let them stretch their wings (within reason). I feel that applying blanket rules and restrictions on children without regard for their individual maturity level or social and intellectual abilities limits the personal growth of a child and is actually a form of poor parenting. Judging from your previous post I'm sure you feel the same way. ac_drinks

[RW]

Come on Asia!  At least give me that SOME hockey moms are scary.  Hehehe. (I grew up in a hockey town - it's just one of those ongoing jokes.)



I think it should go to each parent to decide what his/her child is ready for and the government should fixate on real abuse.  You know, the kind evs likes.

[Renee]

Come on Asia!  At least give me that SOME hockey moms are scary.  Hehehe. (I grew up in a hockey town - it's just one of those ongoing jokes.)



I think it should go to each parent to decide what his/her child is ready for and the government should fixate on real abuse.  You know, the kind evs likes.

Oh there you go casting aspersions on the queen bee again.  ac_toofunny



BTW, I'm going to invoke a name that no doubt will cause you and a few others to cringe but the hockey mom stuff brings her to mind. Here it is:



"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?.........The lipstick."



Sarah Palin 2008  ac_toofunny

[Annie]

lol

[@realAzhyaAryola]

Judging from your previous post I'm sure you feel the same way. ac_drinks

I agree with most of your post, Renee, my fellow American sistah!  ac_dance



Hey sistah, go sistah, soul sistah, go sistah

Hey sistah, go sistah, soul sistah, go sistah



 ac_hithere

[@realAzhyaAryola]

Renee, I like the story you told about your children. Thank you for sharing. They sound delightful.  ac_hithere

[@realAzhyaAryola]

RW, you said, "Hockey Moms are scary." At that time, you did no say, "Some Hockey Moms..." Well, I can agree with that. Some is reasonable because I met some who I would not call scary but I can see why some would call them scary.



One always stared at me which made me uncomfortable until I introduced myself to her. Each new season, there were new parents, so, instead of wondering who they are, I walk up to them and introduce myself. One day, I approached this Mrs. "Starer" and said, "Hello, I'm Speed Demon's Mom, Azhya..." And that was the beginning of a lovely friendship. She was okay after all once I got to know her. Then one summer she had a stroke and died so suddenly devastating us all.  ac_crying

[RW]

Wow Az, that story went from 60 to zero in one paragraph :(



The town I grew up in was (is) very competitive, especially on the ice.  It's an ongoing joke amount the sports groups that hockey parents are the most ... passionate of the parents.  It's just a tease but some earn the stereotype :)

[Odinson]

I´m the coolest daddy ever..



I let them smoke, drink, stay up late etc.

[Anonymous]

I am a very protective mother of my children.

[Odinson]

So am I... I have my own private armory.



Fuck the police!