Tourist 'forgets' wife at petrol station, drives 60 miles before realizing

[Anonymous]

He turned back because she had cookies!

They were freshly baked and the smell lingered all that distance.

[Annie]

No man can resist fresh baked cookies.

[Anonymous]

No man can resist fresh baked cookies.

That's true GrAnnie.

[Renee]

Honeypie, if you ever got YOUR hand on a dick, there's not a chance in hell you'd throw it away.

  You have no idea how many dicks I've thrown away. Perfectly good ones too,......ones with perfectly functioning hydraulics.



 You know the kind I'm talking about....the kind you wish you still had.

[Wulf]

Honeypie, if you ever got YOUR hand on a dick, there's not a chance in hell you'd throw it away.

  You have no idea how many dicks I've thrown away. Perfectly good ones too,......ones with perfectly functioning hydraulics.



 You know the kind I'm talking about....the kind you wish you still had.

So you are saying that the Chief Inspector needs help to raise the flag? His noodle has been boiled? His willy has the wobbles? He has a bent rod? His nightstick no longer packs a wallop?  



Hey, it eventually happens when a man has more years behind him than he does in front.  You shouldn't make fun of him, what you really need to do is send a sympathy card to your friend RW.    ac_cool

[Bricktop]

Listen, marine...this man's magnum still packs a punch. My baton is still long and hard, and relentless. Age my have wearied some parts, but others are as good as the day they were commissioned. Perhaps better.

[RW]

Honeypie, if you ever got YOUR hand on a dick, there's not a chance in hell you'd throw it away.

  You have no idea how many dicks I've thrown away. Perfectly good ones too,......ones with perfectly functioning hydraulics.



 You know the kind I'm talking about....the kind you wish you still had.

So you are saying that the Chief Inspector needs help to raise the flag? His noodle has been boiled? His willy has the wobbles? He has a bent rod? His nightstick no longer packs a wallop?  



Hey, it eventually happens when a man has more years behind him than he does in front.  You shouldn't make fun of him, what you really need to do is send a sympathy card to your friend RW.    ac_cool

Sympathy cards?  More like a card congratulating me on climbing Mount Everest.  

[Renee]

Listen, marine...this man's magnum still packs a punch. My baton is still long and hard, and relentless. Age my have wearied some parts, but others are as good as the day they were commissioned. Perhaps better.

Dude, be serious, the only chance your pickle has in getting firm is if a clown blows into it and tries to make a balloon animal out of it.

[RW]

OMG!  You both make me feel like a bad person for laughing.  ac_toofunny

[Bricktop]

Listen, marine...this man's magnum still packs a punch. My baton is still long and hard, and relentless. Age my have wearied some parts, but others are as good as the day they were commissioned. Perhaps better.

Dude, be serious, the only chance your pickle has in getting firm is if a clown blows into it and tries to make a balloon animal out of it.

This, from a woman who can only locate her vagina by urinating. Even then its "in the vicinity thereof". God only knows how many forests are sacrificed simply to keep you in toilet rolls. You'd be a pack a day girl for sure.



Your airforce have a better chance of putting a Hellfire missile through the back window of a speeding car than you would of hitting your meat wallet with a single round of Kleenex Extra Silky.

[Renee]

Listen, marine...this man's magnum still packs a punch. My baton is still long and hard, and relentless. Age my have wearied some parts, but others are as good as the day they were commissioned. Perhaps better.

Dude, be serious, the only chance your pickle has in getting firm is if a clown blows into it and tries to make a balloon animal out of it.

This, from a woman who can only locate her vagina by urinating. Even then its "in the vicinity thereof". God only knows how many forests are sacrificed simply to keep you in toilet rolls. You'd be a pack a day girl for sure.



Your airforce have a better chance of putting a Hellfire missile through the back window of a speeding car than you would of hitting your meat wallet with a single round of Kleenex Extra Silky.

Old man, you try too hard.



FYI, You have live people reading this shit, the object is not to try and put them to sleep.

[cc]

OMG!  You both make me feel like a bad person for laughing.  ac_toofunny

 

[Anonymous]

This thread belongs in Forbidden Polka..



Don't worry, I'm not moving it..



I'm just pointing out how it has turned.

[RW]

It's all just tasteless jokes.

[Anonymous]

It's all just tasteless jokes.

Everyone looks like they are enjoying it.

 ac_smile