You must insult the person above you.

[Shen Li]

His best quality is that he's biodegradable.

[J E B Stuart]

Inspired by Newbomb Turk's classic rendition of Volare, is in the recording studio working on fart covers of Michael Jackson's greatest hits.

Amen.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Splashes vinegar that has been sitting in the sun on his face every morning and calls it Old Spice.

[Reggie Essent]

Has his morning poo BEFORE he gets out of bed.

[J E B Stuart]

His insult about Prof's bed poos is an eye witness account.

Amen. 

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Posts YouTube videos of his feather boa collection.

[Renegade Quark]

Qualified for the Special Olympics.

[Herman]

Failed the qualification for the Special Olympics.

[Frood]

His first celebrity crush was Miss Piggy. 

[Reggie Essent]

His sock puppets are always sticky.

[Shen Li]

Called 911 to report that he was masturbating too much.

911 responded "Sir, that isn't really a problem.

Reggie yelled to his Mom, "did you hear that. It's not really a problem.

[Frood]

Told the judge she was innocent and that the gravestones at her pet cemetery were recipe cards because they all said Roast in Piece.

[Prof Emeritus at Fawk U]

Mixes raisins with motor oil and calls it cherries jubilee.

[J E B Stuart]

Ever the frugalist, swallows coffee beans and makes his own home-pooped Kopi Luwak.

Amen.

[Shen Li]

There's somebody out there for everybody. For you, it's a psychiatrist.