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Re: Forum gossip thread by Lab Flaker

Laughter Lounge

Started by @realAzhyaAryola, March 17, 2015, 07:32:25 PM

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@realAzhyaAryola

NEK PLEE!!!...where do I hear that? ac_toofunny
@realAzhyaAryola



[size=80]Sometimes, my comments have a touch of humor, often tongue-in-cheek, so don\'t take it so seriously.[/size]

Bricktop

">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m86_9EUkEmg

Bricktop

Children writing about the ocean

 

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.



2 ) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.



3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.  



4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.



5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.



6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.



7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.  



8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?



9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.  



10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.  



11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.



12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.



13) - On vacation my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  



14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.



15) - My Dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my Mum.

RW

HAHAHAHAHA!  I loled 13 and 15!
Beware of Gaslighters!

Renee

Quote from: "RW"HAHAHAHAHA!  I loled 13 and 15!


I liked "13" as well.  ac_toofunny



I also thought "9" was interesting but not because it was funny, because it was like......Holy Fuck!  :ohmy:
\"A man\'s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot-box, the jury-box and the cartridge-box.\"

Frederick Douglass, November 15, 1867.


RW

">https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p6_dJDPgac0
Beware of Gaslighters!

Anonymous

Rig pig funnies.



A roughneck went to the hardware store.

The attendant asked what he needed and he told him he needed a wrench.

When asked what type of wrench, the roughneck replied "It don't make no difference I'm going to use it for a hammer anyway.



An old time Driller always writes fucking the dog on the books whenever their on down time. The Tool Pusher tells him they have a new secretary in the office and she's real religious so don't be writing that anymore.

The Driller starts writing chasing the dog instead. This goes on for awhile. One day after being down for awhile he's in a hurry and forgets. He writes fucking the dog.

A few days later the Push brings out the pay checks. The drill opens his and inside is a note from the secretary. It reads " I see you finally caught that dog".



A catholic priest, a baptist preacher, and a drunk morning tour driller, all arrived at the pearly gates at the same time.  

The catholic priest approached St. Peter, and said "St. Peter, I am a man of the cloth, I have spent every waking hour spreading the word of our Holy Father, and I demand that you let me in!"  St. Peter then tells the priest to step aside and await his decision.  

The  Baptist Preacher stepped up to St. Peter and says " St. Peter, I too, am a

man  of the cloth and have spent every waking hour spreading the word of our

Holy Father, and I too, demand that you let me in!"  St. Peter then tells the

preacher to go join the priest while he decides.  

As the drunken morning tour driller approaches St. Peter, the pearly gates just swing open, allowing him to walk right in.  

The preacher and priest are furious and demand to know why the drunk morning tour driller was allowed to walk right in while they are waiting for an answer.  

St. Peter then closed his big book, looked both of them in the

eye and stated "that man right there has scared the hell out of more people

than  the two of you combined!!!

@realAzhyaAryola

A group of fishing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the pier, the waitresses were young, good looking, and wore short-shorts.



Ten years later, at age 50+, these buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.



Ten years later, at age 60+, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, it was good value for the money and they had a low carbohydrate menu.



Ten years later, at age 70+, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible for the disabled.



Ten years later, at age 80+, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.




 :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:
@realAzhyaAryola



[size=80]Sometimes, my comments have a touch of humor, often tongue-in-cheek, so don\'t take it so seriously.[/size]

Anonymous

Quote from: "Azhya Aryola"A group of fishing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the pier, the waitresses were young, good looking, and wore short-shorts.



Ten years later, at age 50+, these buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.



Ten years later, at age 60+, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, it was good value for the money and they had a low carbohydrate menu.



Ten years later, at age 70+, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible for the disabled.



Ten years later, at age 80+, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.




 ]
 ac_lmfao

J0E

Guy pretends to cheat on girlfriend & she pulls a gun on him



">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzu-mq2Jqng#t=185

shin

One valid reason why they shouldn't serve crack at McDonald's



">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bemgJDD75ng



Sure, it's old... and dubbed...

Anonymous

When I die, I want the Toronto Maple Leafs as pallbearers. It gives them one last chance to let me down.

Anonymous

For a limited time Mcdonalds is selling a Mulcair burger, you order it and the guy behind you has to pay for it .

Bricktop


@realAzhyaAryola

@realAzhyaAryola



[size=80]Sometimes, my comments have a touch of humor, often tongue-in-cheek, so don\'t take it so seriously.[/size]

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